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07.06.08, 05:06 AM New York City
17 replies
How to handle jealousy and problems with friends during private school admissions process this year. We are all great with great dcs but some of us have more, have less, have connections, are unconnected, have legacies etc. Any words of advice? TIA! [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 07.06.08, 05:06 AM Flag
 

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don't say too much. it will be used against you one day. act clueless and always say nice things about others. you will still be the focus of envy and angry if you do well, and sideways glances if you don't, but hold your head up high and move forward. oh, and avoid false modesty. just be genuinely nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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How can you say act clueless and always say nice things about others on the one hand, and then turn around and warn her to be genuinely nice and avoid false modesty? You don't see the contradiction? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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It sounds like you believe you are in the have more pile of your circle of friends. Let me tell you, it means nothing, truly. I [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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^^^I've seen legacies and sibs get rejected. And, having more money means very little when it comes to admissions to k. It probably means more for preschool. Believe it or not, it's really more about the dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 05:34 AM Flag
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Where would you get that? I think you are projected - oh wait, I know you are. Relax dearie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 05:52 AM Flag
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I don't understand your response. Are you posting in the right place? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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$$$$$ means a lot, don't fool yourself, but not everything. There ate many equally great dc and then it often comes done to who their parents are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 06:25 AM Flag
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My dd came from the Garden House School, and IME, the dc's that went to the tt ongoings were not wealthier than those who didn't. Many of the wealthier families at the school didn't get their dcs admitted to the tt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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I am in the middle, why would you think from my post that I was a 'have' and not a 'have not'? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 06:04 AM Flag
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I said it "sounds" like you believed you were. The reason I thought this is because if you were in the "have not" pile, why would you need advice on handling your own jealousy against your friends. I assumed any rational person would only asked how not to inspire these feelings among her friends, if the question had to be asked at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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OMG! Grow up. Do you not have a life beyind this nonsense? I went trhough the process last year and this kind of silliness was never an issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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This is a big problem for a lot of people. I understand. We did the admissions process too and the stress can really be overwhelming, particularly between friends. If you really care about the friendship, you can agree not to discuss it, although good luck with that. No one should have their hopes up and consider your back up plan and the back up to your back up plan, and ultimately (just in case) your zoned public school to be your first choice. GL!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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If it comes up in conversation and you feel tension from one of your friends, then change the subject. Some parents can discuss this stuff without getting emotionally ugly - it's just school. Some (like many of the women on this board) are so invested that it becomes pathetic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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Ahhh... you must be cautious. Be prudent. Don't talk about ERB score or SB score. Don't ask, either. Don't volunteer where you're applying to unless asked. Don't advocate SS philosophy or Coed philosophy - keep to yourself. Don't talk about legacy status. Basically, don't talk about much except the misery of having to go on school visits and how ridiculous everything is. Commiserate but that's all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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uhhh, don't talk about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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Don't talk about it at all. My dc also went to ghs (same as above poster's dc) and I agree with her assessment about tt placement. It's about the CHILD, not you (unless you're a pita). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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It is much more about you than you know. Many fabulous dc get SO who don't have PITA parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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