UrbanBaby

07.03.08, 21:15 PM General Topics
30 replies

Need to vent. Just moved to the suburbs, have hired our city babysitter to come be an au pair for the summer before she goes off to college. She couldn't do 7 days a week, so we worked it out for weekdays only. We pay her salary and her gas to get to/fro ($50 extra a week). Now two weeks into it, she says her mother wants her to come home on Thursday instead of Fridays. DH has Fridays off for summer hours, now we'll have no time alone like we planned. We and the kids adore her, but I'm just annoyed and wondering if it's really her mom who is saying this or if she is using that as an excuse. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.03.08, 09:15 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

Ask her if she could work Sunday through Thursday [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.03.08, 09:21 PM Flag

She can't. The issue is that her mother doesn't think she will have time to get everything done that she needs to before she leaves in 2 days a week. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.03.08, 09:45 PM Flag

Can you hire a babysitter a few times on a Friday for alone time with DH? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.03.08, 09:54 PM Flag

I think she is nervous about going away to school, wants to spend more time with friends. Maybe her mom wants to be able to spend more time with her as well (I sure would). I think you're lucky that she agreed to come at all. That said, its too bad you can't get time alone. Maybe you should find another babysitter, as a way to ease your kids into someone new. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 04:40 AM Flag

You are probably right. I just wish we hadn't made the agreement at all, since the hours were already a compromise (I did them to fit her requirements rather than ours). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:25 AM Flag

It probably is mom. She wants to spend time with her dd before she goes to college. Can you blame her? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 04:46 AM Flag

try to make it work. a good babysitter is hard to find. sounds like it is a combo of her and her mom both wanting the extra time. she has zero social life at your hosue and she is an 18 year old for goodness sakes. can't say I blame her. however, if this scheudle absoultely doens't work, you could try to find someone else....maybe she could work every other friday until 2:00 or 3:00? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 05:06 AM Flag

Why did you have kids in the first place if you don't want to spend time with them? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 05:41 AM Flag

what a clever and insightful encapsulation of the whole issue. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:45 AM Flag

Leona? No one should be expected to work 7 days a week. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 05:43 AM Flag

Oh, you mean like moms do? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:15 AM Flag

That's a life choice, not a job. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:17 AM Flag

I didn't say anything about it being a "job", org. reply said "work", very different. And moms do work 7 days a week weather they are SAHM or WOHM. Or if its a SAHD, then he "works" 7 days a week too. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:21 AM Flag

oh, here we go!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:37 AM Flag

Oh, for chrissakes. She doesn't work long hours. Do you get how an au pair works? They live with you, work about 45 hours a week. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:20 AM Flag

Yes, I am keenly aware of how an au pair works. It's kind of like legalized slave labor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:23 AM Flag

np: it's actually not at all. it's room and board plus a small stipend. get over yourself [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:25 AM Flag

And we are paying her much more than that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:26 AM Flag

she's blaming her mom, but she just want some down time with her friends and maybe her family before going away to school. she's 18, and while she's not working f/t with you, she's not at home with her friends either. totally understandable [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:24 AM Flag

ITA, being stuck at your house instead of being able to leave home every evening is a drag I am sure. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:26 AM Flag

I didn't force her to do this! In fact, she brought it up with DH. We live in the suburbs, but it is a beach community. It's like you are picturing me keeping her in a cage in the basement of a McMansion or something. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:29 AM Flag

or: no, i wasnt picturing that at all. I am sure you are very nice and that she loves working for you and all, but she has 8 weeks to hang out with her friends before leaving. it's just the way 18 yo's think. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:31 AM Flag

Sadly, that IS the case with most live-in nannies and au pairs. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:32 AM Flag

I'm sure you didn't force it and thought that it would be good for her to a have the cash - she probably thought the same - but IMHO she now wants the free time more than the money. At 18 you can't always see past yourself. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:33 AM Flag

imo - this is the risk you take when you hire an 18 yo as your primary sitter. she's a teenager, not nec. so reliable, wants to hang out with friends, and you and your family are not her priority. sorry [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:29 AM Flag

Well, until now, she has been more reliable than any "adult" sitter we have ever had. And she's still amazingly reliable in the sense that she is wonderful with the kids and very responsible. I am merely venting because the hours no longer really work for us. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:32 AM Flag

Poor you. Maybe you'll now have to be responsible for your own children. Boo hoo. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:34 AM Flag

Yeah, I'll have to give up my bon-bons now. Eyeroll. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:36 AM Flag

bitter crow. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:38 AM Flag

Again, you get what you pay for. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:32 AM Flag