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07.02.08, 18:19 PM General Topics
28 replies
Would you stay with DH for the sake of dc even though you are totally miserable? Anyone else feel like a single mom even though they are married? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:19 PM Flag
 

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no because you arent' doing your kids a favor by being miserable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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930 here and dh still at work. no sign of leaving. been a single married mom forever. comes down to me in love w/ dh & couldn't live a life w/o him. it sucks doing everything at home and w/ kids w/o his help though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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not even sure how much I'm in love dh anymore - I love him, he's father of my dcs but he treats me like crap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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w/o the love, i'd be gone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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but wouldn't it be worse to have dcs deal with divorced parents [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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not if she truly is miserable. I prayed for my parents to get divorced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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at what age do dcs start to pick up if you are miserable? we barely speak to each other but dont fight much in front of them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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I did at age five. They didn't get divorced till I was 19, it was so annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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they didn't openly fight either, I just knew they didn't like each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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How did you know? And did it make you unhappy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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It made me feel insecure in the house, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You just know. You see kids whose parents want to be together, and you know that yours don't. There can be quilt around the fact that they are unhappy but staying together just for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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they know from day 1. ITA with the other responder, my parents should never have married but divorced when I was 24. thanks to a good therapist, I am ok now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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no, not at all, my parents stayed married for way to long. we prayed they would meet other people and have to get divorced! we wished my mom would cheat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Why? What did you they do to make you wish that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Studies have shown that unless the parents are openly hostile the children are better off if the parents stay married. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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I haven't seen any studies that do this but take into account income. Children of divorced parents are far more likely to live in or near poverty, and that comes with its own issues, and yes, it would be better to stay together if you aren't going to be able to provide for your children appropriately, I doubt that applies to OP though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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OP - We would live more comfortably if I stayed married but on my income only we would still be ok - we probably fit into UMC category. I still worry though about my dcs not seeing their father everyday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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the single greatest risk for poverty is being cared for by a single mom. it isn't a cause of poverty per se, but statistically liklier to be poor in a single female headed household [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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That's just common sense, of course a single mother is likely to live in poverty like conditions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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but it doesn't mean someone should stay in bad relationship [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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it especially doesn't mean it when the woman wouldn't be in poverty or anywhere close [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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This has been pretty well documented over the years. Except in situations of physical or emotional abuse, children are better off if the parents remain married. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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yes, but that is primarily for financial reasons that don't apply here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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Yes, they too will learn to suffer in silence and carry on the tradition. I don't think divorce is the worst thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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not if I was totally miserable, or in danger etc., but maybe if I was just disenchanted or bored. being a single mom has got to be harder some how imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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OP - I'm not in danger - but not happy. E.g., my dh only sent me a text message at 4pm on my bday - didn't even make an effort to say anything to me that day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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life's too short to stay in a relationship that is not a happy one. is it the relationship or are there other reasons for your unhappiness? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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I think its the relationship. Other than that I have a good life but my marriage makes me unhappy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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