< Return to Talk
07.02.08, 17:51 PM General Topics
25 replies
Second night of CIO with my 3 year old . Poor thing has been hysterical for 50 minutes now. I think the neighbors are going to call CPS on me. Anyone have any success oat this age? How long did it take. FWIW we tried gradually limiting his exposure to us ( for about a month) [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 05:51 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

»
I can't imagine that working with a 3 yo. Seriously. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 05:52 PM Flag
»
so what worked with your 3 YO - we are desperate [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 05:55 PM Flag
»
My 3 yo still gets up fairly often at night. We walk him back to bed, try not to engage him after bedtime, and hope that this phase will be over soon. It's exhausting, but I can't imagine how we'd CIO. He'd just walk out of his room. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 05:57 PM Flag
»
baby gate [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 05:58 PM Flag
»
He'd climb over it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:00 PM Flag
»
well we got an extra tall gate that locks [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:02 PM Flag
»
i admire that you are trying to correct the situation...but not sure CIO will work for a 3 year old. Try watching a few episodes of supernanny, she appears to have some good ideas for getting older kids to bed. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 05:55 PM Flag
»
did look into supper nanny - i watch her religiously. but her advice is to lie down on the floor next to them w-o talking. that didn't work for us b/c he pulled my hair until I got mad [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 05:57 PM Flag
»
will 3 yo not stay in bed? is he in a toddler bed or real bed? (we have a 3yo too and have had a hard time) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 05:58 PM Flag
»
real bed [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 05:59 PM Flag
»
hmmmm. does he sleep in his own room or with a sib? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:00 PM Flag
»
own room which he loves [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:02 PM Flag
»
LOL--apparently not (or he'd sleep in it) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:04 PM Flag
»
i see your point but I think for him it's more about separation from us [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:07 PM Flag
»
have you tried a reward/ sticker chart for when he stays in bed? it helped my ds to talk about getting a reward (in his case, getting to watch his favorite TV show) ... it also helped to talk about how the bedtime routine was going to go throughout the day and lay out the expectation. The last thing that helped was an older brother, who helped reinforce the expectation of getting in bed and staying there. GL [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:08 PM Flag
»
I second this. We just started for our 3 year old (not having trouble w sleeping but other stuff) and it's totally working. 10 stickers and she gets a prize - first one she chose is her first movie in the theater with daddy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:39 PM Flag
»
It must be scary for him to be locked away from you. I actually think that sounds dangerous, and it may be working *against* what you are setting out to do (have him stay in bed). Personally, I try to treat my dc like the treasured guest in my life that she is. I try to be her partner, see things from her perspective, and not go into fear mode about what will happen in the future if I don't "nip this in the bud" or whatever (it always passes). Life is too short. Good luck, whether you consider giving your son back some of his autonomy in this, or not. You all deserve peace :-) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:36 PM Flag
»
Are you reading what you are writing? The kid is 3 and doesn't sleep alone and you're implying that the mom is taking his autonomy away? SHE IS THE PARENT, not the partner. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:41 PM Flag
»
(response to above reply, not referencing op): well, I see my parental role as one of partnership, not arbitrary top-down decision-making... I get that it's not the typical way of looking at it, it's just that I still have a really strong connection to the kid I was, and I remember how betrayed I felt when I figured out that I had been seen as a 2nd class citizen merely because I was a kid. I thought I might not have children, because I knew I didn't want to BE THE PARENT in the way you are talking about. Then I realized, I don't have to be, I just have to let dd be herself, go for what she wants, and look out for her health and safety. Sure there are conflicts, and I am by no means even close to being a perfect parent, but I hope that my willingness to treat dd as an equal partner (*not* as an adult, but as a partner who happens to be a child and so has some unique needs (and gifts) that she brings to the table) will mean that we have an authentic lifelong relationship. I will know her in a unique way, in part because I observe her a lot rather than imposing my will on her arbitrarily. I take her feelings seriously. If this sounds like gibberish to you, that's cool. And to the other poster, my meds were in the form of being playful and goofy w/ dd until she fell asleep tonight, and no, I didn't forget to take *them* happy pills ;-) bless you and your kids, I don't doubt that you love them a ton and are trying to do the right thing... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:45 PM Flag
»
>>> ug. how long can a post be? I wish UB would stop you before typing a long response that doesn't show up. Oh well, I'm too tired to try again. Darn that long-windedness gene... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:53 PM Flag
»
children will be in therapy [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:01 PM Flag
»
well, I have no problem with therapy, but from what I've seen, it's kids who have no relationship with their parents who are more likely to need that outside person's perspective later. I know dd from observing her (better than I would if I was always pushing my own agenda). I also would never aske HER to "be the parent", you may be mistaking me here. As a child, she has more needs that can't wait than I do, a unique way of seeing things, etc. There is a third way that doesn't involve an us-against-them / either we're the bosses or the kids are attitude. So many people miss out on how great their kids are because they are over-focussed on "behavior" (that is always changing anyway!), and getting their kids to behave a certain way (gl w/ tht one, esp. by teen age). It's a shame! I have no doubt you love your kids and want to do the best by them-- bless us all! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:36 PM Flag
»
forgot your meds tonight, huh? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:52 PM Flag
»
ha, my happy pill tonight was goofing and playing w/ my dd until she fell asleep :-) no prescription matches it... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:56 PM Flag
»
we had the same thing happen at 3 YO. we just kept walking her back into her room. it was awful. it only lasted about a week. finally i just spoke to her about it during the day and told her she was making me very unhappy. and that did the trick. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:58 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions