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07.02.08, 13:46 PM General Topics
23 replies
I am really not at all concerned about my husband cheating on me. I know he adores me and I am confident that he values our relationship too highly to cheat. I don't understand why so many women obsess about this. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 01:46 PM Flag
 

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Because not everyone is as confident about themselves or their other halves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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np - I think this is really sad - the person you are married to ought to be the one person you can have utter faith in [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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nnp: Yes. But it's not always the case. Also, sometimes a woman has been treated poorly in the past and it makes her less trusting. It's life, it ain't always perfect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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see, I'm glad my dh is so loyal and i have no reason to think he would cheat, even though i've had bad experiences in the past [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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That's great for you. But not everyone is as lucky as you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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I know this, but it seems so many people are so jaded by past experience they can't see that their current dh would never cheat, and convince themselves that he would/is cheating [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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I don't think it's being jaded in a cynical way. I think these women are psychologically damaged by their past experience. Some realize it and work to get past it, others probably don't realize it. It's best not to be judgmental about this kind of thing, just be grateful you aren't in that life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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yeah, but, it doesn't seem like it's a matter of luck. i mean, we make our choices, right? so why would someone choose someone they can't trust? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 03:40 PM Flag
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i think that is too often an unrealistic view of marriage. you want utter faith in another person and then are floored when *gasp* a human being makes mistakes. people also set the bar of what they expect from a partner so high, it's almost impossible for the partner to reach it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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There are a bunch of women here who refuse to accept that a man can give his word and stick by it. -a dh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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That's really sad [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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no human being keeps his or her word all the time. people make mistakes. and forgiveness, openness and understanding are equally important parts of a relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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Ditto! And I hate when people on this site like to try to make me feel like I am delusional when I say this! It is so sad! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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op - exactly. I know my dh would never cheat, 1)he adores me and 2) he respects me and 3) he respects himself 4) he doesn't believe in divorce except in very extenuating circumstances [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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np: i don't know my husbadn woudl never cheat. its impossible to know. but i thnkits really unlikely and i give him the beenfit fo the doubt -- i don't snoop. and that is also very rare here, and, to me, sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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did you ever stop to think that the ppl who worry about this have past issues of a cheating spouse, father, boyfriend, ect. Did you think that they may have valid reasons for worrying? Like dh has a sex addiction, porn addiction, ect. Not everyone is lucky enough to feel secure and confident [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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np: Seems easier for them to feel superior and judge the other women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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I'm not feeling superior, I'm just stating my experience [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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Oh, come on. You and some of the responders are acting so very evolved and righteous. You are no better than the women who declare every man is cheating whatever the circumstances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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of course I understand that. However, it is really sad when past issues with other people can't allow you to trust the person you're currently with [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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well that's why they are called issues. It isn't so easy to get over past issues. It took me a while but I finally did. It's hard when every man (including your own father) has let you down in some way. It's very hard to trust when those who you put all of your trust in the past, really hurt you. it's not easy to get over such pain [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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didn't think mine would, yet... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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you never know what anyone will choose to do, I don't care how in control you think you are. No one gets married saying "oh, there's a good chance we'll get divorced, it's 50-50, let's go for it anyway" they always say "I'm only doing this once." Yet 50% of them divorce and who knows how many cheat. I don't expect my husband would cheat, but either do the posters on here who write about their cheating dh's. Most of them never saw it coming! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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