UrbanBaby

07.02.08, 08:24 AM General Topics
22 replies

am i crazy for being annoyed. mil, sil and sil's friend are staying at my house. dh is away on business, but i said yes so that sil could spend time with her mother, who is with us for the 4th of July. SIL always manages to overstep boundaries and make it look legit; always wanting to buy furninshings for the house, etc. etc. Today, she is cleaning out fridge b/c something leaked. i am at work, by the way, my son told me all this when i called to say hi. i know that you will think i'm nuts and she is just helpful, but there is a vibe there - she is always trying to usurp me. sigh [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:24 AM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

I get what you're saying [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:25 AM Flag

thank you!! i think i am viewed in the family as "prickly," but this woman is forever trying to be her brother's wife. i speak up when she disciplines my kids in front of me, but the rest of the stuff i usually let go. today, for some reason, i want to cry about it. thanks for understanding. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:28 AM Flag

or: she will be one of THOSE MIL if she has a son [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:29 AM Flag

she has no children or dh. i feel she is overly invested in her brother (my dh). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:33 AM Flag

my dad's sis is like that. She tries to mother him. He's 62 yr old and she is controlling. He has had to tell her to chill out [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:35 AM Flag

if she wasn't cleaning you'd be complaining that she sits around your house doing nothing... She can come clean out my fridge! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:26 AM Flag

i really wouldn't. this is not a situation where no matter what she does, she's wrong. in fact, i feel like that's me. i know i must sound peevish, but she really tries to minimize me whenever she can. i don't care about her opinion, but i do care about her going through my stuff when i'm not there [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:40 AM Flag

Well, first off, you said they could stay with you.If you know that she oversteps, then don't invite her to stay with you. Or say something [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:27 AM Flag

np: her DH said she could stay with her..not OP [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:28 AM Flag

she wrote "I said yes" [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:30 AM Flag

you are right. as a matter of fact, dh originally said no, but she did an end run around him and emailed me privately. i felt bad to say no to family, and it's not the staying with me that i mind, it's the way she always figures out excuses to do things which i feel are inappropriate and instrusive [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:32 AM Flag

Then remember this & say no next time. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:34 AM Flag

i know you are right, but when she asked and knew her mother would be there, i wanted to do the nice thing. also, this is the secret of her genius - i will certainly look like a nut if he tell her not to clean my fridge if there is a spill. i just wish she'd stop figuring out ways to be in my business [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:30 AM Flag

Well, I guess the thing to do is realize they don't come that often, so its a temporary inconvenience. Also, if you brand her as a manipulative genius, you are playing along. Much better would be not to let yourself get involved in games- I mean, who really cares if someone cleans your fridge? It's not like she's reading your diary. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:33 AM Flag

she has offered to go through my closet and "organize" it. She always does my laundry - i don't like people touching my underwear. i know i am coming off like a wierdo, i just feel that she likes to think of herself as her brother's wife [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:37 AM Flag

Then, say "no, I would rather that you don't reorganize my closet." You can say, "Please, don't do any chores around the house, you're a guest, just have fun...here are some magazines I picked up for you..." Or better yet, next time don't have her stay with you- remember that was your choice. You may have been trying to be nice, but next time weigh that against how much this all bothers you and look out for yourself. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:40 AM Flag

you sound smart and nice. i wish my husband had married you! :-) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:43 AM Flag

you are so much better than me. No way in hell could I have MIL stay with me and SIL too? Esp. with dh out of town? I would kill myself. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:34 AM Flag

i love my mil and we are working toward having her move in b/c she is not in the best of health. i am really not better than anyone; you hear how this is all annoying me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:39 AM Flag

That does sound tough, but the flip side is hard too. My MIL & SIL visit and don't lift a freaking finger to help. They came when both kids were newborn and went shopping, napped, left dirty dishes around, watched tv. I honestly would be thrilled if they tried to do something to help (the way my family does). That said, I could see where you could feel she's overstepping her bounds. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:38 AM Flag

I see why your DH is conveniently "away on business". [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:39 AM Flag

op - not b/c you think i am bitchy, i hope. i really think i am right in all this, just not conveying properly here. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.02.08, 08:42 AM Flag