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07.02.08, 06:22 AM General Topics
40 replies
has anyone quit their job at the end of their maternity leave? i'm wondering what the ramifications might be if I take leave from work but then immediately announce I'm quitting once I am done with the 3 months. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 06:22 AM Flag
 

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Oh, geez, are you trying to start a war on here? Listen, people do it all the time, but it's obviously not the right thing to do and it's one reason why women get a bad name in the workplace. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:24 AM Flag
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Well said. You'll burn the bridge at your current job which could be a problem if you try to re-enter the workforce in the future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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You might have to pay the company back your medical benefits. There are serious ramifications. And it's not cool. You're better off returning for a few weeks or months, show that you made a real effort to try to make it work, and then quit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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or if you're absolutely sure yo uaren't ging back, just quit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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or just be honest about your intentions... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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two women have both done this at my DH's company. They expected that it would happen so it wasn't a great surprise. It's not the fairest thing to do, but it happens all the time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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why is it not the fairest thing to do? if you tell them ahead of time, they might not give you the leave in the first place. and going through a major life change like having a baby, you sometimes don't know how you'll feel at the end of the leave. (i'm in this situation myself and trying to figure it out too!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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It's not fair to have a company continue to pay you when you are not coming back. That's what unemployment is for. It also keeps them from being able tohire and train a person to take your place. It also - IMHO - makes it more difficlu for other women to be treated respectfully and as equals in the workplace when maternity leave is seen as a way to keep your salary dishonestly. I'm sure many owmen may leave with the intention of returning, but a think a huge number leave knowing they probably will not come back and that reflects badly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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what about the idea that maternity leave is time earned for work already done, not a guarantee for future work? i remember seeing a column in the ethicist about this, and that was the verdict. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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Then everyone "deserves" and has "earned" a few months out of the office. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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whoa! having a baby is totally different from taking a vacation or a sabbatical. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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What I am saying that a three month leave is not "earned for work done" or everyone would have earned time off for work done. Of course having a baby is diff, but I disagree that you have earned anything over and above other employees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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i think maternity leave is a special situation. it only affects women who are having babies and there doesn't need to be absolute parity with everyone else in the workplace. other countries get this and support new moms -- what's the matter with the usa? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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men deserve the time too don't they ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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good point! one of my male co-workers and his wife adopted a baby and he took three weeks off -- the boss wasn't happy about it but i thought it was awesome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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What we're talking about here is taking the money when you KNOW you will not come back. That is not something anyone deserves. That is stealing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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um. that depends on company policy. If it's just std that you're getting, everyone is entitled to-you've paid into it during your employment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:26 AM Flag
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Doesn't that depend on the company's policy? When I took maternity leave, it wasn't based on tenure. I could have started working on Monday, given birth on Tuesday, and gotten maternity leave. Other firms don't offer maternity leave, but STD. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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Most maternity leave is completely unpaid, or at least mine is. I also have to pay for my insurance fully--that is, pay my regular premium plus what my employer covers now. So, in essence, it's three months of unemployment, with just a guarantee that might job will be there when I get back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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that is diff than at my DH's company where the women are paid and twice have not come back and probably never intended to come back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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That's precisely where I'm at. I hate my job, but I have no idea how I'm going to feel about being home with a baby all day. Will I be begging to come back to work after three months, or will I be desperate to stay home? If I preemptively quit my job then I have no choice at all; if I take the leave but then quit once I'm in it, I fear I'll really f-- things up with my employer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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if you genuinely don't know, that's different from knowing you won't go back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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I agree that if you do not know there is no deception. Many women do know and take the paid leave anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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but the effect can be the same -- you go on leave and then don't come back. the employer still has to pay you and can't be searching for a replacement during that time. i'm in this situation and i'm trying to figure out the best way to be fair to my employer (we're a small company and i really don't want to leave them in the lurch) while still giving myself flexibility to make decisions based on how i actually feel, not how i think i might feel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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how good is your relationship with your employer? that's the real problem, is that we arent' safe to be open with them. luckily i was able to sayup front I was coming back only parttime and we made it work. but most parents can't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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you're right, we can't necessarily speak frankly about our plans (or lack thereof). i'm not in a position where i might get fired but i risk becoming irrelevant the second i imply that i might not come back f/t. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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Look, you're in a more moral position than most in that you seem to have more of your conscience at work than many others who feel that it is OK to "say" they'll be back when odds are they will not be back. I'm sure you willmake the decision that is best for you and your family and if you make that decision honestly, there's nothing else anyone can ask of you ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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thanks! that's so good to hear. it's such a sticky situation to navigate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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onward, and good luck in the navigation ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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ita. i'm facing this myself. this is our first kid. i'm just not sure how i'm going to feel in a few months. i won't intentionally screw anyone over, but may not be able to work crazy, unpredictable hours with a db. have to wait and see what it's like. it seems fair to allow women to take some time to decide. (also, i only get six wks paid "disability" leave. then it's just them holding a job for me). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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I did it. I did not plan to do so, but I was offered a much better job during my maternity leave. I was very honest with my company (the new one offered me 50% more money) so they understood. They said sometimes they do make the woman pay back the money, but in my case they decided to be nice to me. There were no hard feelings. A couple of years later, they even offered me to come back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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During my maternity leave, I called my company's HR dept (since they've outsourced it) & asked about the ramifications about not coming back. I honestly didn't know what I was going to do even up until the very end. FYI, my company pays 8 weeks of full salary & gives you the 12 weeks of leave while guaranteeting your job. (I hear NJ residents have a better leave policy as it is partially determined by state law, as I understand it.) ANyway the HR person told me that there would be no paying back the money I received even if I quit the day my leave ended. I took the 8 weeks paid leave & then on the 10th week called my boss & asked for a PT position explaining that I wanted to be my child's primary caregiver. (Some of the reasons: I don't love my job, I am not compensated exceptionally, I wanted to nurse & care for my baby most of the time & my hubby's job allows me the freedom to decide whether to work or not.) I ended up getting a position of 16 hours/week which has allowed me to stay in the game, get out of the home for a bit, and learn to leave my baby with another loving caretaker--which has not been easy. Some days I wish I could go back full-time, or SAH completely, but that's life. And I'm sure once I stop nursing, I'll have a new set of feelings too. Things change all the time, but the reality is that it's good to keep your foot in the door and if needed, leave on good terms. Being a mom & making these decisions is definitely not easy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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how did you get ub to post your very long post? I always get cut off... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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At my firm, the company will sue to recover salary paid during leave and the company's contribution to health and dental benefits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:13 PM Flag
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Ugh. I struggled with this. I went out on leave fully expecting to return. Then while I was out on leave, my group reorganized and my job description was re-written. My responsibilities were expanded and I would have had to be in the office at least 60 hours a week. When I resigned (this schedule would not work with a newborn), the company tried to recover the cost of my benefits while I was out. I ultimately won and didn't pay them back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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It happens all the time and was what I did when I had my first dd. I was working in management consulting with predominately men. I had much anxiety about this and spoke to family and close friends about what I should do. Every person encouraged me to take my maternity. It is how you have managed and continue to manage your relationship with your boss and peers. My personal experience was that once my boss got over the inital disappointment of losing me, he was fine and wished me well. He calls me consistently to inquire about my family and has offered me three different jobs in the last 3 years. I also maintain contact with two of the partners I worked closely with who have children as well. If you have made contributions throughout your career, they will get over it. Do what you must do for you and your family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 03:19 AM Flag
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I would actually encourage you to go back and try working for a little bit. I made myself go back for 3 months and when I got to 3 months I wanted to keep working, but talked them into a 4-day schedule. I love having a foot in the door and a second identity. You can ALWAYS quit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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I'm a female business owner who has seen several employees go out on maternity leave, only to come back and ask for a part-time situation, which we have tried to accommodate. Both times I had arguments with my male bus. partner about the employee's sincerity, and in the case of the most recent leave, I felt compelled to defend her sincerity about wanting to return to the (male) client, whose wife had screwed her company by waiting until the end of her leave to resign, so he assumed all women operated that way. I feel you should be as honest as you possibly can. I hate that many men will dismiss women once they become pg, concluding that they will not return, and their bias is reinforced when it's handled dishonestly. I say this knowing that many women have a change of heart or are sincerely undecided, but you should try to be honest for the sake of other women who face this situation...including some of us who employ others and really want to be family-friendly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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true, women may reinforce this bias by quitting, but it is also that bias which causes them to quit. when I became pg, my boss started giving me lousy cases (he told me so) b/c I "probably wouldn't be around much longer anyway" it was clear that my status as a mother was going to be a problem. I was told that "no accommodations" would be made for me. I wanted to go back to work (still do) but I couldn't go back into that hostile enviro. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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