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07.01.08, 13:51 PM General Topics
9 replies
DH and I are having problems with a friend who seems to be in a downward spiral financially, emotionally, etc. It seems that no matter how much we help this person out, it's never enough. We've caught her in some lies, too. She seems incredibly moody, super happy one day and down in the dumps the next. She completely ran out of money and almost lost the house she managed to buy with her inheritance (if it weren't for the fact that we and another friend lent her money to get by). Her mother died almost two years ago and I know it was very tough on her, but it seems that she is really coming undone and I don't know if it's because of the loss of her mom or some other problems. She's estranged from her other family members and it seems that we are her only friends and we just don't know what else to do for her. We even hired her to help out with our small business, but she's been quite difficult to work for, shows up late, moody, etc. Any insights? We want to be good friends but don't know how much more we can keep helping her out. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.01.08, 01:51 PM Flag
 

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i hate to jump to conclusions, but it sounds like an addiction (drugs? alcohol?) does she have history with addiction? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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OP here. Not that we know of. We almost want to talk to her family members to gain some insight but feel like we would be betraying her, although it would be out of genuine concern. She really is in a bad place and we just don't know what more to do for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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maybe a mood disorder, then. Either way, it sounds like you are going to have to enlist some more help if you really want to help her. enabling her to continue destructive behavior isnt really what you want to do. helping someone out of a jam once out of friendship is one thing, but if someone you love is really in trouble, you have to do something. beware though she may not appreciate it until much later [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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tell her she needs to see a therapist. help her find one, and make sure she gets there. takign that first step is hardest, but it can be a HUGE help. sounds like depression/bipolar disorder [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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OP here. If she had med. insurance we would do that, but she doesn't. She's been out of work for a couple of years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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or here - would you consider helping her out with the cost of therapy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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call columbia 212 305 6001 i think for psych services, your friend should apply for medicaid, ssd and get treated. Er if you are worried about self harm or harm to others. gl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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No No No No No. Do not start with a therapist. There are too many therapists who don't believe in biologically based mental health problems. If she draws one at random, it could limit her diagnosis. She needs to start with a good primary care physician and a good psychiatrist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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Could she be bipolar? How old is she? Any history of mental health problems? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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