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07.01.08, 11:27 AM General Topics
37 replies
We are about to let our nanny go. No particular reason, we just feel in general our daughter needs to be challenged more as opposed to babysat all day. Should I tell her in advance or on a Friday tell her it's her last day? We plan to make up a reason why we're changing nannies. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.01.08, 11:27 AM Flag
 

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Tell her in advance, especially if you have a good excuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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Have you ever been employed? How would you like to be treated? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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exactly ! That makes me angry. You let her stay with your child and expect that she respect your family, yet you question how much respect - really - you should afford her ? Egocentric and unkind... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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If she was so great, she wouldn't be fired. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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np: In large corporations, people are always fired on Mondays and told to go home immediately. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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Do the children of of those corporations get emotionally attached to their employees? And vice versa? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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If you think it's a good idea to leave a small child with a disgruntled employee who already knows they are fired, you are mental. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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You'd be surprised -- I think the kids get less emotionally attached than you'd imagine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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np: agreed, we had to fire a nanny who had been with us nearly a year. Things got ugly and I didn't let her say goodbye to him. He asked once, dropped it and had no problem moving on to our new nanny who has been with us 3 years. Completely forgot about the other one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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That's absurd. I work for one of the largest corporations in the country ($80B in revenue) and this is not done, unless it's firing for cause which is immediate whenever the cause is found. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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Oh good lord, it's totally different and you know it. This is a person who takes care of OP's child. Also, at my company, you are told you are fired and escorted out b/c they know that employees who are fired tend to act out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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I would tell her as she leaves on friday and give her a few weeks severence and offer good references. I wouldn't want someone who had a beef with me watching my kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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Thanks. That what my husband wants to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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ita. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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ita also [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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Would you not consider discussing her job with her and letting her know how you feel, and where she needs to improve/ stretch herself? Like a formal job review. Particularly if your girl is comfortable with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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I tried that a few months ago. And for the first few weeks after our talk things were great, but slowly they went back to they way things were. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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Fair enough. Anyway, it sounds like your relationship with her has turned sour, so probably best for everyone to cut free. Might be tough on your daughter though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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if you want a teacher hire one - a nanny is not a tutor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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Totally disagree. Part of a nanny's job is to challenge a child and help them grow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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maybe you should be a better mother or put your child in day care or maybe preschool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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np: That's bullshit. Our part-time sitter does all sorts of games and activities that are fun and have some sort of educational/developmental benefit. The last was figuring out as many words as possible starting with a certain letter (for a 4yo) - they did it on craft paper to see how long the list would be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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I hope you pay her well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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We do. But I don't think people should watch children for a living unless they want to be around children. So many nannies don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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yes we must make sure our children are developmentally challenged all day long [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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I never said it was all day long. But she is creative and fun with the kids in ways I never would have been, I've learned a lot from her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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then you got lucky. you cannot expect to hire people at relatively low wages with no benefits and little recourse if you treat them badly and expect that type of interaction. that is more typical of people with a fair amount of education in child development - which is not true of most nannies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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It's not such a low wage for those that are off the books, and it's a great wage for the level of education and working conditions. We've never had someone full-time, so perhaps that is the difference - it's not so many hours and I'm around, so less chance to either get bored or be lazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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You have very low standards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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no I don't have a nanny. I do that myself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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So, do you have equally low standards for your mothering skills? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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you bet your ass I do. I don't sit on the floor and play with my child 8 hours a day. She plays very nicely by herself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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Wow. Just wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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yep - I also don't read parenting books either or go nuts about comparing my child with others. I don't judge others either - apparently you do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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np: I like you. I feel the same way about our nanny. She's very hands on with our 2 year old but hands off with our 5 year old. I used to worry she wasn't engaging him enough until DH pointed out that he's old enough to play and act independently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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I hope you are giving her severance pay. It would be so unethical to cut off her financial support with no notice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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How long has she been your nanny? If a long time and your child is attached to her (and vice versa), I would try to work something out in advance - unless she has been very unprofessional. Two things: Give your daughter some time to get used to the idea and you may want her to have the option to see her nanny again in the future for a playdate (eve if it never happens, the idea that this won't be the last time she sees her nanny will make it easier for her), it would also be nicer to your nanny. If you speak to nannies, you realize that a number of them get very attached to the children and leaving them can be pretty hard - here again, offer to see her again in the future. 2 of the best nannies I know said that the hardest time of their professional lives was when they were asked to leave with no notice (in one case, the Friday before the family went to Europe for a 3-month extended vacation). The abrupt separation from the children was very hard to them. Having said this, I would be a bit nervous about leaving my child alone with someone who has been asked to leave. Can you have a parent or a family member come and visit for a few days (or take a few days off) in order to make sure there is no major issue? Would also be a good distraction for your child. Also make sure you are fair in terms of severance, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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