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06.30.08, 10:37 AM General Topics
23 replies
My DH is lazy and totally unhelpful over the weekend...We have a 2.5 yr old and a 4 mo, and I'm a SAHM (and ebfing now)...I got up w/ both kids on both days, while dh slept until 11am...then he took a 2 hour nap in the afternoon and went to the gym on saturday while i gave baths to both kids and put them to bed. I did have 1 hour to myself on each day, but i am exhausted. He claims he does so much to help me, but he SLEEPS all day long!! This happens all the time, even before we had kids. I have had to totally ajust myself and my schedule, and he has not done anything to his. Anyone in a similar situation? thanks. advice welcome too. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.30.08, 10:37 AM Flag
 

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Why is he sleeping so much? Is he working a lot of hours? We have a similar prob with roles reversed because I work late. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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op-His works a regular 9-5 job monday-friday, not even late hours. He has always slept a ton but now it is really starting to annoy me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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looks like you knew damn well what you signed on for before you had kids with this guy. why complain now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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My point is, if he works hard, is tired on weekends there is really nothing you can do about it. Try to hire someone to assist for a few hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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Well can you hire someone to help out anyhow? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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I have no real answer. We are battling it out in couples counseling now. About every 2nd or 3rd weekend DH works one full day so I am working FT job plus that full day with DS. Therapist suggested DH be more "loose" on the weekends and give in to my requests to clothe, clean up after DS while I go for a run in the AM, then I will jump in from there. I need some time to myself to run or work out before I am fully functional. Then I am there 2000%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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was he like this before #2? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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He was, but i may not have noticed it as much. Now with 2 kids (baby sleeps in our room too) i am totally stretched thin, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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You definitely need to discuss it, and even make a schedule if necessary (with flexibility for extreme fatigue which is inevitable). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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there is no reason for a grown man with a family to be sleeping until 11am. he needs to grow up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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I agree. I have sympathy for when one is ill or jet-lagged, but not for an ordinary weekend. I say he's in denial about having 2 small kids. I mean, you're up with them by 7, right? And he sleeps 4 more hours? No way. Not fair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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or: I think your husband is in denial. I assume his life hasn't changed much since the kids. He needs to wake up (literally!). Written schedule of responsibilities would help, imho. I would also tell him that he is setting a bad example for the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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NP. I could have written this post about me. My children are almost the same ages and identical husbands. One difference though is I don't really mind it. I'm happy that dh works hard all week so I can afford to be SAHM. I get exhausted and do find weekends harder than the week but I know my dh needs a rest too. I get my rest with friends etc while he is working. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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Is this OP's DH posting this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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lol - no I'm a dw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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op-I am trying to look at it this way...My dh gets angry at me about asking him to help me out more, then i just end up thinking he's lazy. Maybe i will work on trying your approach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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If my dh worked all week and then looked after the kids at the weekend he would be a wreck. He needs his rest and to be honest he wouldn't be such fun to be around if he was tired and stressed all the time. I'd much rather have things as they are. It is tough but it's not going to be forever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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He is only sleeping so late because you let him. Wake him up, for crying out loud. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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my dh HAS to nap on the weekend (both days) or he throws such a fit. It is a totally sore subject with the two of us. dd who is 2 still naps so he'll stay home with her and nap and i'll do something with older dc - but what I wouldn't do to nap on ONE of those days or just veg and watch a movie...i work f/t also...men are just WIMPY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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they are lazy and inconsiderate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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I am in v similar situation..dd #1 almost 3, dd#2 5mths also ebf and husband does v little...I thought I was alone...did you read article in NY times a few weeks ago about equal parenting?made me feel sick as I do 90% if not more of child rearing in our household.I try to understand his point of view and the fact that its great to be able to stay home with my kids...but I do know of other r/ships where dh helps out more.Would love to know how to get him to do more w/o it being a battle... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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I am in same boat. If I ask for him to help - always get "Why can't you do it?" Have to wake him up for dinner on the weekends... I have no delusions -- he is a selfish ass. Doesn't mean I don't get sad. Numb myself with antidepressants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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Although it would be nice for y'all to do family stuff, I think you should just make plans and leave the house. I find that my DH does fine when I'm not around, but tends to let me handle things when I'm home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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