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06.29.08, 06:34 AM New York City
14 replies
my bf's ex- dw is so beautiful. literally model looks. me..not so much. everyone that knows her gushes about her beauty. i have to admit, it makes me incredibly insecure. especially because she left him. they have children together. i wish i could be a bigger person about this, but i am jealous. and i hate it. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 06.29.08, 06:34 AM Flag
 

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How does he feel about her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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he says he doesn't love her, and doesn't pine for her, but he is sad for the loss of his marriage for the sake of his children and for that i think he feels enormous guilt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:39 AM Flag
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Why the guilt? If she left him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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guilt that things fell apart. that he wasn't the husband he wanted her to be, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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Hmmm. That's a little concerning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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I find that nice -- better than being angry and whiny. Although after 3 years, he should have a little more perspective. Two make a marriage, and two make a divorce. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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so he's lowered the bar by finding someone not as beautiful and likely not as demanding of him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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Maybe. Or maybe he's learned that women who spend a lot of time on their physical selves don't have much time or energy or inclination to develop other parts of their selves -- like intelligence or empathy. Maybe he's grown up a little. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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She left him for you so maybe you feel she will leave you too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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huh? she left him 3 years before he met me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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My DH's ex (girlfriend before he met me) is very accomplished--she's in the paper/on the news a lot. In the beginning, I had a lot of problems with it to...made me feel insecure about my own accomplishments. Somehow I got past it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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Well, OK, she was beautiful. Does anyone say she was nice? Or interesting? Or attractive in any way except for her physical beauty? If all they say is that she was beautiful, it might not be exactly complimentary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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Well, clearly you also find her beautiful looking, so why be jealous? They're just physical attributes #1; #2 you don't mention whether this is organic and/or if she seems to spend a lot of energy cultivating her physical appearance. It's a little sad how much envy and insecurity is purposefully crafted to sell a bunch of crap and sadder that so many people can't just be hip to it. If she was your child (or self), you'd probably find it frustrating and ignorant of people to constantly remark on such an obvious and superficial trait-which is very often simply genetic, quite unplanned or unable to be cultivated. It's interesting how many people get bashed for trying to enhance their appearances and others for not putting enough effort into their 'looks'- They are just that, remember. Quit being jealous; you're just playing into the machine of self-loathing which will make you ugly where it really does matter- inside yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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into it. Don't be jealous; that's playing into the whole self-loathing mechanism and will surely make you feel ugly where it counts-inside. That stuff tends to surface on your physical appearance and absolutely affects your head. Please tell me it wasn't you who made the remark above, about him having 'lowered the bar'; That would be a cause for concern. If it wasn't you, take a good look at where the Sisterhood is at and step up to it; you owe it to yourself to feel beautiful in non-comparative ways. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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