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06.28.08, 04:37 AM General Topics
25 replies
Are YOU having an affair? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:37 AM Flag
 

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nope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:38 AM Flag
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No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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no! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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Yep, with these delicious little frozen eclairs I found at the supermarket. I sneak them during the day, yesterday 2yo DS caught me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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No. Nor would I. I was tempted once, but made a point of avoiding him. I still think about him, but only in a vague fantasy way. Keeping my hands to myself and my nose clean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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yes and i'm a total mess as a result... i rarely see the guy. and he's a total sociopath. he's sleeping with other women too. i swear it just happened and i had absolutely no intention to stray.. it happened within hours. and now it's been 2.5 years and i really love my dh..argh i have not told anyone, ever.. i'm in a version of hell. one day i'm going to stop, next day i'm in love... he lives in another city [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:35 PM Flag
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np: HE's the sociopath? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:37 PM Flag
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oh good. i answer this post honestly and get your response within seconds. that's really great. guess we should all be stepford wives on UB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:40 PM Flag
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That's the black cloud Flamer, no matter what you say she has some dig back at you. You answer the question, then she flames you on the content. That's when I give the old "STFU". Then she'll right, "hey, uncalled for" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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hmm what is STFU [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:45 PM Flag
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Shut the F Up! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:48 PM Flag
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thank you! i feel so sorry for this guy's wife.. when i met him he wasn't wearing a wedding ring.. i didn't know he was married until after we did the nasty. i think back about our initial meeting all the time and i swear it wouldn't have happened if i thought he was married. i'm in agony over it...i "break up" but he just keeps finding a way to ingratiate himself to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:52 PM Flag
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Maybe you want to get caught by your husband? Are you anxious about that all the time? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:53 PM Flag
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i absolutely don't want to get caught because it will destroy him. that's why i keep trying to move on and chalk it up to a life experience. i'm anxious about not giving the love and attention to my family that i should be.. because some of that is being diverted to this other person who doesn't deserve it. really i'm in hell. but i'm not looking for pity. just feeling a moment's relief by typing this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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What do you get from this man that you don't get from DH? I feel bad for you, but when you're ready to get out of it, you will. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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to be blunt. sex. my dh has a very low drive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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Look, sex is important I broke up with a guy because he had problems and would not get them taken care of, everything else was great in our relationship, but that. I finally broke it off because I cheated and realized that it was unfair to him to stay in the relationship. I'm sure there are women who have lower sex drives and this would be a great person for them. But sex is important and the fact that he would rather lose the relationship than see a dr becuz he was embarassed said a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:05 PM Flag
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i'm in the process of gently suggesting to my dh that he see a doctor about his low drive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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From what I've learned from talking with lots of women in affairs, the ONLY way to stop it is to go cold turkey, absolutely and completely. You'll be miserable for awhile but it's the only answer. Don't allow ANY contact, don't relent, when you're tempted, remember the bad parts. Like drug addiction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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great advice. i tried actually.. so anal that i kept a log of our contact.. tried to stretch out the days between calls / txts. it's actually been five months since i've physically seen him, but we still talk. my biggest weakness is when i've had a glass of wine and then i lose all resolve. he's talking about visiting me and i'm being really vague about picking a date.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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"i kept a log of our contact" -- see, this is the problem. It's not called NO CONTACT for nothing. As long as you play any part of the game, your life is on hold. Get a grip, move on, you will be much happier two years from now (and probably a lot sooner.) I've seen a lot of this and it isn't rocket science. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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Thanks Dr. Laura. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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We don't admit to affairs on UB, we are only victims of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:39 PM Flag
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