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06.27.08, 11:03 AM TTC
66 replies
ttc - i have three older children from a previous marriage, and dh has two young children from a previous marriage - we are having a difficult time and i am wondering when it is right to explore other options [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
TTC 06.27.08, 11:03 AM Flag
 

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how old are you and how long have you been trying? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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I am 39, dh is 28 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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if you are over 35, they recomend seeign an RE after 6 months of trying. If there si a problem, maybe they can either help or tell you it's not going to happen. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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we have been trying for almost 7 months now so we pretty much hit that mark, i suppose i should consult with a doctor soon [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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I would. Just make an appt. They will do some testing and then you can assess your options. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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Hon, you're old enough to be a grandmother. Your time to stop populating the Earth has arrived. Embrace it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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np - i am 39, i have a 3yo and i am 5 months pregnant with my second child - am i a granny as well? so do you expect that you will not age? when you are 39 will your children be pregnant? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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Actually, I had two grandchildren by the time I was 39. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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np: Well, just because you got knocked up young and then had kids who did too doesn't mean it's the right way to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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How did you and DH meet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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Sounds like he was the paperboy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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troll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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We were set up on a blind date by mutual friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:15 PM Flag
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I would kill friends like that, who needs a dh 11 years junior, who is already a divorcee? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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He wasn't a divorcee - he was a widow [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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np - my dh is 9 years younger than me and i was twice married when we met - we have been together for 12 years now nd have 2 children together - you shouldn't judge [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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I think you two have populated the earth quite enough and maybe it's mother nature's way of telling you to stop reproducing. Why don't you adopt a child that needs a home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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rude..go away troll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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but the point about populating the earth is very valid. think of food, resources, diapers, etc. np btw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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do shut up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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nope-op did ask, opened self up here. points made are very valid-5 kids are a lot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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np. But that is 5 kids between 4 parents. What should each parents allowance be? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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2 per couple is simply replacing yourselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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np--you shut up! Since when is pointing out environmental concerns so verboten? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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since it annoys the hell outta me. They have been talking about overpopulation since the 60's. It's a free country. She can have as many kids as she wants and you will just have to live with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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why oh why do people feel it is their right to have as many chi8ldren as possible and THEN feel it is a wise idea to use scientific methods to have even more when Mother nature says "stop" ? This isn't a woman who has never had a child and wants to do whatever possible to have one. This is a family of five ! Enough already [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:18 PM Flag
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ITA Adopt if you want to love another child. You've already replicated yourselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:21 PM Flag
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you don't know that she is going to use fertility, dont judge [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:23 PM Flag
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she says "exploring other options". Maybe she meant adoption and I stand humbled. excuse me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:25 PM Flag
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as you should [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:39 PM Flag
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although - you will see - that later in the post she mentions fertility treatments... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:42 PM Flag
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she does not mention that as the sole option [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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read the rest of the post dodo. She's talking about fertility treatments and says so in just those words ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:45 PM Flag
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op-This is ridiculous. I came here to discuss fertility treatments because we have been struggling going through adoption. We came close once, but in the end the mother kept the child. We can't keep going through the pain of coming so close and losing the child. We are actively pursuing fertility and adoption; however, I am not as familiar with fertility - which at the moment seems like more of a guarantee than adoption. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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np: the cost of adoption is not something all couples can afford, and who are you to say they have had too many children - perhaps they would like to have one together? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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if this couple can afford 6 biological children and/or fertility treatments to get #6, then they can damn well afford the adoption fees. There are millions of babies who needs parents, and I think it's arrogant to want to have a baby together just to somehow validate your marriage. It's pathetic. And you losers have already each failed a marriage so how do you know this one, with such a huge age gap, is going to work out? How fair is that on any of your kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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wow losers, big vocabulary you have there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:08 PM Flag
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How do you know they each have failed marriages? You do not know the circumstances - I am remarried for the second time because my dh passed away early in our marriage. I had two children during my first marriage and I remarried and had three kids with my dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:18 PM Flag
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I really really hate that sancti crap. Go compost something and leave me alone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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OP: i agree - it really isn't anyone's business how i choose to create a family - i was not asking whether i should have kids or not. i am going to have a child, i am just asking about fertility treatments. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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why don't you adopt? how can you justify adding a sixth child between you? plus, you're old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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How can I JUSTIFY??? The same way I JUSTIFIED having my other children, the same way he JUSTIFIED having his children, the same way you JUSTIFIED havng your children. And excuse me for being 39 years old - last I checked I wasn't cashing social security checks yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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I justified having two children and replacing myself. Not six children. That I could never justify no matter how much I desired it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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I gave birth to three children - the younger two are my step-children that my dh had with his ex. I welcome them with open arms into my home when I accepted dh's proposal. I am not going to let our already blended family stop us from having a child together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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yes, I understood the configuration of your family. You are two people with five children between you and planning to have a sixth because that would validate the enormous love you have for each other. I get it. You're still contributing to overpopulation and using up way too big a carbon footprint. Obviously, you don't care, so kudos to you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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yes, let me go start up my 7 hummers - one for each family member!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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LOL! I love you! and BTW - my carbon footprint is bigger than yours! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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Please go away, Ann Coulter. Please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:41 PM Flag
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exactly. Ignore her. GL to you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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THANK YOU! ITTTTTTTA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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now would be that time. You have enough kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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the trolls are OUT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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hey--she asked!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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she did not ask for your judgement - she asked for opinions about fertility - who are you to say she has ENOUGH kids? some people do not feel they have to stop after 2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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some people "do not feel" they have any ecological responsibility at all. Some other people "do not feel" they have to keep their mouths shut about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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If she can provide for her children, she can have children. Ecological responsibility my ass...if you feel so passionate about this then why don't you go out and adopt a brood of children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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that makes no sense. I'm not planning to adopt OR have another, but were I to have another I'd adopt. Just like I don't want a pet, but if I were to get one, I'd adopt one, not get one from a puppy mill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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well good for you. Isn't it nice that we can all be different and have different ideas about how to live our lives? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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actually, she asked about "other options," period--presumably, adopting or just stopping trying are two other options. She didn't say "options for fertility treatments" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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Maybe the options you should explore include taking care of the 5 children you've already had between the two of you, who have been through the hell of their parents' divorcing and certainly don't need a new baby to add on to their pain. You are a selfish, selfish woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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How DARE you insinuate I am not taking care of any of my children. I absolutely adore my kids and I would do anything for them. They did not go through hell because my ex and I divorced - it was very amicable and our relationship is much better because of it. You do not know the details of our divorce - and if you need to know, my dh has full custody of his two children. We are excellent parents. Our kids are happy and we have been together for quite some time now and we know this is until death do us part. We are not having a child to validate our marriage, we are having a child to complete our family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:14 PM Flag
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ita! bitter troll - who says her divorce put her children through hell? when my dh and i divorced, our children were given a better life. he and i were so miserable and disgusted by each other towards the end that it wasn't fair to them. they didn't have the same life they do now - i am remarried with a baby on the way and dh is engaged - the kids have much more family time now that everyone is happy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:29 PM Flag
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It's all about you, the kids are nothing in this situattion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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how are the kids nothing in this situation? they are the reason dh and i finally got the divorce. i couldn't let them see me crying anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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how is it different for someone to have one or two biological children, but when a couple wants to have more they are overpopulating the country by their selfish desires? you people are ridiculous. she can have another child if she wants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:16 PM Flag
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i feel for you - i remarried at 38 after being single for over ten years and raising 2 children on my own - my dh had 2 with his ex and we ttc before we even got married. we had lots of trouble and explored adoption, which proved to be incredibly difficult and seemingly impossible, in the end we got pregnant naturally with lots and lots and lots of work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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