< Return to Talk
06.25.08, 18:20 PM General Topics
38 replies
I'm in a long Distance Relationship and due in Aug. My boyfriend just asked me if I would consider having a scheduled C-Section so he is sure to be here for his son's birth. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:20 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

»
Sorry that was not the whole post. Can you just request a C-Section? I don't have any preference either way, but I'm not sure if it's something you ask for? I'm moving after the baby is born. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:22 PM Flag
»
I've had 3 csxns, and would never have requested one for the first. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
ITA. I had one c/s and one vbac. Cannot imagine requesting a c/s for no reason for the first. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
your boyfriend needs to be seriously educated about childbirth. DO NOT do this or even consider it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:23 PM Flag
»
np: Why not? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:23 PM Flag
»
is that a serious question? you need me to explain why having unnecessary, major abdominal surgery which carries 4x the risk of respiratory distress and NICU stay for baby and greater chance of pp hemorrhage and infection for mom, and huge implications for future deliveries might be a bad idea? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
*Eyeroll* I was going to suggest that OP talk to her OB about doing an induction instead. But I know lots of people with DHs in the military - it's pretty common for them to schedule inductions and/or sections so that their partner can be there for the birth. Which is not an insignificant thing, instead of laboring alone and perhaps scared. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
OY. There are so many things wrong with this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
^^Although I see below that OP has friend and family with her, which is a different thing than these women being without family on a base somewhere. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
But a soldier has no choice in when he is shipped out. Her bf can take time off from work to be there. I'll bet a hell of of a lot of soldiers wish they had that option! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:12 PM Flag
»
maybe you need to be as well. if she schedules it at 38 weeks or later, what's the problem? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:35 PM Flag
»
no ethical OB will agree to an elective c-section without medical indication. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:24 PM Flag
»
you would be surprised... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
oh, I know many OBs would agree to it--doesn't make it ethical. Just happens to make them more money and be less of a risk liability wise. Certainly wouldn't be convincing to me... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
OP: that's what I wanted to know, thank you. I told him I didn't think it was something you elect, but that comes up as a matter of a serious condition. He may miss it, I'm actually prepared for that, I have friends and family who will be there and he can be there within 24 hrs. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:27 PM Flag
»
you might consider hiring a doula as well--a professional labor support person to act as emotional/physical support for you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
talk to your ob about inducing... it doesn't have to be a c-section... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
inductions carry a much much higher risk of c/s, and they are unbearable, I really suggest just letting the baby come when he or she is ready. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:31 PM Flag
»
They are not unbearable. My 3nd was induced & was the easiest by far od all 3 deliveries. That said my first & 2nd were only a blistering 3 hrs long so the induced one which took 14 hrs was like a sweet spa vacation [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:14 PM Flag
»
that's a lot for a boyfriend to be asking for. if he wants to be there for his son's birth, he should be a regular part of the mom's life, like most husbands are. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
OP: We both have jobs on separate coasts, I elected to stay here until the birth and to move after. I was much more comfortable with my doctor and hospital here. So, it wasn't his fault, it was mine. He is a regular part of my life. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:30 PM Flag
»
move to other side of the states after having a baby? just cuz you're comfortable with your doctor and hospital here? doesn't sound like such a well thought out plan. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:39 PM Flag
»
Well, I'm 39, I thought it would take much longer to get pregnant like 6 months to a year, I got pregnant the first cycle off the pill. And yes, I did feel more comfortable here in NYC having the baby, and I also did not put in for a transfer soon enough that the timing would work out. It was easier to stay here then have my job tell me at 8 1/2 months I have to move. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:52 PM Flag
»
WTF do you care? The poster wasn't asking what you thought of her plan you angry troll. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:59 PM Flag
»
My dh works freelance & travels. He b#$%tched & moaned each time bec I wouldn't let him take a job for the two weeks before or after I was due but he did it. If your bf wants to be there at the birth have him commit to that time off so he won't miss it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
I have a due date, but it could be anytime, he can't take off for 4 weeks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:33 PM Flag
»
Why not? As I said, my dh wasn't paid while he wasn't working but it was worth it to him (tho grumbling) since that would be something is he missed, he would never get back [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:07 PM Flag
»
Because we're both Law Enforcement (State and Fed), we don't get 4 weeks of leave at a time. I don't even get maternity leave. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:13 PM Flag
»
I thought all gov workers were eligible for both materal & paternal leave [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:15 PM Flag
»
In the Federal System, you have the Family Medical Leave Act, you can take up to 6 months/a year of Un-PAID Leave for a birth or to take care of a Family Member, and they just have to hold your job.There is no maternity leave that is paid in the Fed sysytem. I have to use my vacatin and sick days, which is fine. He does not have the same option in the state system, and he has too much responsibility to take 4 weeks off in a row. State to State it's different, and that's why I'm the one transfering, I can work anywhere in the country, he is at the same a Police Dept. for the last 18 years. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:25 PM Flag
»
^^ignore all my typos [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:28 PM Flag
»
Can he take 2 wks off? As lots of others have said, maybe you could schedule an induction right at your due date. That way if he comes a week early you are covered (tho most 1st pgs are late rather than early barring an emergency) and you still have a week tog w/the newborn. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:31 PM Flag
»
Yes, he can do two weeks. I think I'm really not going to worry about it, I'd just rather nature take it's course and not have any inducing unless it's called for. Of course I'd love him to be there, but really I am prepared. Besides, we'll be with him as soon as we can fly, in the meantime, my transfer will be put through and I'll be there for good in Oct/Nov anyway. There are far worse things. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:37 PM Flag
»
Do you have to have a C? Some friends had a baby by surrogate, and the OB scheduled an induction. The birth was a normal, vaginal birth. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:36 PM Flag
»
OP: No, I don't need a c-section. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:41 PM Flag
»
Talk to your OB about options. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:43 PM Flag
»
Well, I got my question answered, a C-Section is for Medical Reasons only, I had heard other things, and wanted some opinions of people who might know...and of course I got a few flames along the way that had nothing to do with my question, but so be it. I got some good info, thanks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 06:55 PM Flag
»
why when there is clearly a know it all OB right here telling me what to do and not to do and schooling me on my choices of when and where to have a baby. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:05 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions