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06.25.08, 11:47 AM General Topics
59 replies
I am losing my mind with BFing. DD is only 3 weeks old, but we've had thrush the entire time and I am in so much pain, even after pumping. I keep thinking it will get better but it hasn't. LC says latch is great. I'm on diflucan and doing Jack Newman's candida protocol. I really want to quit. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.25.08, 11:47 AM Flag
 

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if you want to quit then quit it's not against the law. three weeks is a long time. there's nothing wrong with formula. on the other hand, making bottles in the middle of the night can also be a drag and formula is expensive. weigh your options and decide accordingly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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three weeks is not a long time, LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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so quit! no need to suffer endlessly when there is a good alternative available. you may also be able to pump with less pain and do a combo ff/bf when your thrush finally clears up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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^^ BUT I also don't want to quit I just don't want all the pain. and I think DH will be secretly mad if I quit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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if men had to breastfeed everyone would get formula! he doesn't get a say until his boobs are involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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oh don't i know it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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seriously! not his nipples, not his call! there is nothing wrong with NOT breastfeeding if it isn't working well for you. You tried at least! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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NP - you should never lose sight that you matter as well. If mom is not happy, if mom is stressed, baby will be stressed. Sometimes you have to do what is right for everybody, including youl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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np yes but she says she doesn't want to quit. I am very proud of myself that I suffered through the first hard part and got through to the easy part. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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I'm sorry about that. I suffered for 6 weeks and finally things got better. There is no right or wrong answer here really. It sounds like she wants encouragement to keep trying to me though so why not give it to her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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For your sanity, quit. I could not produce enough milk. Drove myself CRAZY trying everying known to try and increase production. Painfully taped a suppletmeter on my nipples 6 times a day. Used hospital grade pump. Ice. heat. fenugrekk. Was exhausted and emotional. Ruined my maternity leave. did this for FOUR months. When I could not produce with number two I gave up after three weeks. Pelase do not toture yourself over this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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Same for me - DH said "in the long run, this bf drama is just a blip on the path to much greater things - (and if you don't give it up, something bad will happen between you and me)" I gave it up. Our dd is perfect, despite all that... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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I think you'll really regret quitting at 3 weeks. It gets so much better. I am so, so happy I didn't quit during those tough beginnings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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Does not get better for everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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but it does for most. And why take your own bitter experience and try to derail others? Why not be encouraging? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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bitter? I am not bitter? I just understand the other side you sanctimonious FREAK. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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No, understanding the other side is saying "I know how brutally hard this can be. I've been there. You're doing great and you'll make it!" Not "Just quit. Who fucking cares anyway. Bfing sucks." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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np: she is not just giving up, she has been trying for 3 weeks! for her emotional and physical well being she should probably try formula. Her baby needs a healthy and sane mother and that will benefit her child more in the long run. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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how did you get through it and how did you get rid of it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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It sucks. It is so persistent. I did everything, diflucan, gentian violet (which now they say is a carcinogen, oy), vinegar washes, massive doses of probiotics. Eventually it just went away and didn't come back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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you're posting to an anti-breastfeeding board, so I'm sure that if you want "permission" to quit, this is the place to find it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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i don't need permission, i was just looking for some support both ways actually. i'm having a really hard time here. do you feel pleased with yourself for being nasty to me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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presuming that the reason i posted this was because i'm looking for permission to quit. i don't see the response as particularly "anti-breastfeeding." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. When you wrote "I really want to quit," I guess I got the mistaken impression that you really wanted to quit. Clearly my mistake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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obviously I'm torn or I would have quit without a thought, i wouldn't be suffering with this if it were that simple. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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I hope that it gets easier for you forthwith, and that you and your baby go on to have a mutually rewarding and lengthy bfing relationship!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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My experience has been just the opposite, so many BF or die types here. You would think you were committing abuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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Oh shove it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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hang in there. If there's anything worth toughing it out for, it's the nursing relationship. You wouldn't get divorced after 3 hard weeks, don't give up on this easily either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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well said [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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You can have a loving bond with your child if whether or not if you breastfeed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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that is true but BFing is better. Formula is not bad and is a pretty close second these days. But - we evolved to do this. It's made for babies. If you can, it is best and ITA with her that giving up on a marriage or BFing after 3 weeks is a good analogy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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yeah but in the caveman days if i needed to hand my baby off to someone else to nurse i could [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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i think giving up on raising the baby would be a better analogy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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i've been both pumping and supplementing. i get the pain with pumping though and don't get a let down with the pump (yes, hospital grade). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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yeah - it didn't help me either. I have heard other people say it helsp though. Try getting the Dr Brown's bottles. DD had reflux too and we got those right around 6 weeks. Almost immediately things got better. Very well could be a coincidence, but I always thought it had something to do with the shape of the nipples or something. Worth a try at least - they are cheap. Keep talking to your doc and la leche league etc. Sometimes some random thing will help. And - don't feel bad if you just can;t do it. I know how hard it can be! If you can get through this though, it does get better most of the time for most people. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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omg, I feel for you. it hurt so much those first few wks. i would cry every time. i didn't have thrush but had other issues. after 6 weeks it was like someone flipped a switch. it got easy, and I (partially) nursed for 12 months. I am not saying you should not quit, you need to do what is best for you. I am saying there's a chance it will get better. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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thanks. i am actually doing about 60% BF and 40% FF right now. not my original plan, but I can live with that. i guess my main concern is that the FF will eventually case the BF to phase out - I'd thought by this point I'd be able to be moving away from the formula, you know? the discussion on FF/BF seems so all or nothing, but I don't know if that's really the case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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so you're already weaning. why post here?? you're right that ff will cause bf to "phase out," which I'm sure you're happy about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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np: Go to hell. MANY women supplement - it is not weaning. I know women who did it and continued bfing past 1 year! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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did you go off your meds to continue bfing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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sympathy here- I had thrush and it was awful! I finally quit because I couldn't deal anymore with the Nystatin, and keeping my nipples bare (oh so practical, to hang out with no shirt on all day!), but db was 6 mos old, so it was a little easier. As far as knowing what the right thing to do is- to quit, or to carry on, take it one day at a time, and don't beat yourself up. With my first db, I had to quit at 6wks because of low supply (she was not gaining weight) and the one thing I truly regret is how much anguish I put myself through about it. And I hope the thrush goes away soon! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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yes! i've had no one stay with me to help with the baby because i'm topless all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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give yourself a short term goal - whatever you want. say to yourself, i can do this for one more week - at the end of the week see how you feel. you may feel better or worse, at that point decide to either give yourself another short term goal or quit. fwiw, i ff one dc and bf another - i am equally bonded to both and do not regret ff first - it was just where i was at that time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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i totally agree with this idea. it was soooooo hard for me at first. no thrush but dd had a serious latching problem and basically tore my nipples to pieces (no exaggeration, really). i gave myself these little goals and it got so much better. it was about a month of pain (and yes, going topless a lot) but afte that it was a whole new world and i ended up bfing her for a year and really enjoying the experience. but if these short term goals don't work for you, you have to do what's right for yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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I feel your pain. I went through exactly the same thing. I went through with it and gained Iron Nipples ;-), but I don't really recommend people to do it. The pain is so bad, I know. If you quit, it is totally OK. Don't feel bad or punish yourself. Breast milk or formula doesn't really matter in the end. Your baby and YOU should be happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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to the OP: It sounds like a rough start and you have good support. I had cracked, bleeding nipples (half moon cracks, my midwife called them if you can believe that) Every time I wanted to quit I promised myself 2 more days -- I was in labor for 2 days so I fixated on that amount of time -- and I got through it. Then it was the best, easiest, most amazing thing and I'm SOOO glad I didn't quit. I've had girlfriends who couldn't produce milk, so you're ahead of the game there -- focus on the good stuff! Do you have a hospital grade pump? Those can be set low enough to still get milk but not so high as to be as painful. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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I'm confused (and worried). (1st, due in Oct). Why would ff suplementing cause you to phase out bf if you are pumping? Are ppl saying pumping will not give an ongoing milk supply? Or would that only happen if you only did bfing with no pump? Does the pump hurt less than the baby in some cases? Just trying to mentally prepare. And to op, good luck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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Your hormones are raging right now and you're probably exhausted, so, as almost ludicrous as it sounds, try not to beat yourself up. BFing is a very personal decision, and whethe BFing or pumping, you're trying to do the best by your DD. I got yeast (never diagnosed as fullblown thrush) about 6 months in, and was told to let them airdry for about 10 minutes after each session (pumping or nursing) and then apply Lamisil or Lotrimin (anti-fungal cream). I also changed my nursing pads at each session as well. Took a few days, but it eventually cleared up. If you get to a point where you just can't take it anymore, then don't. It's your decision and either way, it's what's best for you and your DD. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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I quit after 3 weeks. It was not an easy decision and I felt so guilty, but I was miserable and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Everyone around me told me it was ok to quit. I am happy that I did, as I believe I became much calmer and less depressed, which I think is important for the baby. That being said, had I had someone encouraging me to continue, maybe I would have gotten through the bad part. I am pregnant with #2 now and trying to decide whether to try nursing again. For what it's worth, ds is thriving, intelligent and a total joy. No ill effects from not nursing beyond 3 wks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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It took me a month to BF without pain - had one session with a consultant and in a day or 2 was smooth sailing for a year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 09:43 PM Flag
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