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06.25.08, 09:58 AM Newborn
19 replies
Moms of high needs dbs, talk to me. What does the future hold? My 7.5 mo has been "high needs" since birth. Intense, demanding, wants to be held all the time, easily distracted. He is also a funny, sweet, charming little guy. But hard work. Does this go away? Dissipate slightly? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Newborn 06.25.08, 09:58 AM Flag
 

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don't start labelling your baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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listen, i adore him, to pieces. I not only love him, I like him. but he is waaaaaaayyyyy harder than any of my friends kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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I posted below about 18mo, and I feel the same way... and my whole family says she is way more work than any of my neices and nephews (on my side at least - DH comes from a long line of this intensity!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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You know, most of the "high maintenance" babies I know are that way because they ahve high maintenance parents... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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i thought that was how all babies acted. never knew my was a "high needs" kid. that said she is 5.5 years now and seems normal to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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based on your description, dd was (and still is at 2.5) high needs. i think most kids are like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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We very much feel this way about our 18mo dd. She was very similar at 7.5 months. Now, she is still very intense (strongwilled, unrelenting) yet has been able to entertain herself a bit more. She is finally walking (at 16mo) so it gives more freedom and distractions I think, but one tough cookie! Not everyone sees this, b/c she too is incredibly sweet and charming and silly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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i think that is just their personality better than having a kid with no spunk imho. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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I agree - I think this will definitely prove positive in the long run, and she is very clever too and I think combined she will get very far in life (knock knock, pooh pooh!)! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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it really depends on what you mean by "high needs" and from where these characteristics originate. i mean, it's a db's job to be "high needs" and "demanding" since they are completely dependent. if you mean fussy and highly reactive in temperament, that's one thing. if you mean extremely alert and engaged, that's another. etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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^^ my dd is also intense, "demanding" and wanted to be held all the time. she is also extremely good natured (whew). people always ask if she is "easy" - which would NOT be the word I would use to describe her. she is exhausting AND amazing. she started talking at 7.5 m/o and was using complex, compound sentences at 2 y/o. she is now 2.9 y/o and more exhausting and amazing than ever. so, to answer you original question, it actually gets somewhat harder as they get into toddlerhood/preschool age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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^^ people ask if she is "easy" because of her good-nature, in case that's not clear. it's hard for many to comprehend how challenging it is to have a child who is FULLY PRESENT 110% of the time. I wouldn't change it for the world, but it is a lot. makes for almost no downtime whatsoever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:07 AM Flag
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I have to say it is such a relief to see i am not the only one in this (poster above with 18mo dd.)... it is very exhausting, as she does not stop for one minute all day long... she is the CUTEST, but the busiest by far of all her friends/cousins and everyone says this... she's a screamer too - car seats, changing diapers, bath... it seems liek a control issue to me - DH warned me he was an intense child, and with his 8 bros and sisters and all their kids, I know it is from his side of the family for sure!! Good luck to OP... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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mine doesn't scream all the time, but EVERYTHING is seen as a negotiation. and, she's GOOD at it. lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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I just posted above about a great book for you- The Difficult Child by Stanley Turecki. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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He is all of the above. Please know, I'm not talking sh%t about my baby! He's my life. It's just h-a-r-d. My friends all have young dbs and they all seem easier than mine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:07 AM Flag
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or: see my elaborations above. I have found Karp's "Happiest Toddler on the Block" to be a helpful resource for this period. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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My ds wanted to be held or nursed all the time. He screamed the entire time he was in the carseat until about 9mos (on long trips I had to nurse him while we drived to keep him quiet - not so safe but effective). At 2 1/2 he still sleeps in our bed (would not sleep alont) and we're trying to wean. He is delightful and very affectionate. Try to "wear" your baby as much as you can and figure out what works. It is hard but wonderful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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my 4 yo has always been high needs and he still is! He's so funny, sweet and charming, but he's also very needy and always needs attention and interaction. He also now receives therapy for sensory issues, but I don't think that's necessarily related to the "high needs" part. He's truly wonderful and I think he will accomplish much in his life, but right now he's a bit exhausting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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