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06.25.08, 07:25 AM General Topics
15 replies
Help!!! 33 wks pg and had my baby shower last weekend. All my family and friends came to celebrate in the special event, but my sister. We haven't been close for over a year now (I've written it off as a combination of things - jealousy at dh and marriage, insecurity issues, youngest child, etc.), and was really shocked that she didn't bother to send a congratulations card or even attend. A similar occurance of this happened at my wedding where she was extremely difficult all the way through the reception.. I am so hurt and upset right now that I really don't want her at all involved in my db's life. Is it wrong to completely cut her off??? WWYD? TIA. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.25.08, 07:25 AM Flag
 

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sounds like you don't need to cut her off. she's already done it. don't take it personally. but if she does ever reach out, take it for what it's worth and don't hold grudges. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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np: but it also depends on why she is reaching out. My dh has sibs who only reach out when they need something. If that's the case, don't fall for it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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sounds like she isn't going to change..so why should you have her around your dc unless she does a complete turn around [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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Sounds like she has cut you off and that is upsetting to you. It happens. If you don't want her in your life so be it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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Sounds like she's already done the cutting off. Sorry! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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isn't it weird how every response started with 'sounds like'. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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I just noticed that. I started my response like that too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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:-). Yeah. All the advice though sounds pretty spot-on. I've come to this realization point, and am fine with it. Hell, its life. I've gotta move on and not let this affect my new family. I'm just more hurt that my mom/dad have stepped in, and have blamed me for her behavior and have swept her horrid behavior under the rug. Moving on.. thanks for all the advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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if your parents continue to blame you, please set them straight because they are just in denial. There is so much you can do with your sister. You cannot live your life stepping on eggshells around her or kissing her ass [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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Thank you!!!! I really needed that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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YW..I have parents who spoil my sis and brother. I'm the oldest. When they defend my sibs actions, I tell them the truth and they don't like it but I make my point [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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You go girl. You are giving me the confidence I need to put this crap to bed. You've made my day!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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tx and be true to yourself..there is so much we can do to please our families but letting them blame us for someone elses shortcomings isn't one of them. I find that parents stick up for their kids even when they know it's wrong because they feel like you are blaming them (the parent) for what the sibs do. At least that's how my mom is. She thinks if you state a fault of one of her kids, you are saying she's at fault too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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I'm an only child -- so what do I know?! -- but I'm not sure that she's intentionally "cutting you off." I think that she's very, very jealous (consciously or not) and "can't" be happy for you (i.e., her behavior at your wedding). I wouldn't make an effort to spend time with her and I wouldn't reach out to her -- but I'd continue to invite her to family gatherings (holidays, b-days). Maybe she'lol have a change of heart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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i would try and get the bottom of what is actually going on, there are always 2 sides of a situation. this happened with a friend & me right before i gave birth, so sad we do not talk anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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