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06.24.08, 09:24 AM General Topics
43 replies
I may get flamed for this, but ds is an only child by our choice. I was 37 when I had him and we are happy with our family. Co-worker today basically lectured me when she asked about us having more kids. She really went off about how she couldn't believe I'd subject ds to being an only child. I know a lot of people feel that way but I was really upset to have to listen to it. Other moms of only dcs out there who have dealt with unwelcome lectures? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:24 AM Flag
 

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All the time. It's all I can do to not roll my eyes and tell them to STFU. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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she is incredibly inappropriate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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I care about as much as what someone thinks about my family planning as I care about what they think of my new blouse [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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Deal like you would anything else unwelcome. Just nod politely and change the subject asap. No need to go off in a snit just move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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OP - this is what I did, all with a smile. Inside, I was appalled [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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good for you, just try to remember where its coming from. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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I've gotten a couple about having my 3rd. People are rude and nosy. I know it's not fun to hear their stupid opinions, but just try to ignore. You know you are doing what's right for your family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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Why do people care if you have a 3rd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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because they are nosy a-holes! same reason they care that the op only has 1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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I got a few lectures from relatives while I was desperately trying for #2, but couldn't stay pregnant. I finally told one of them - "You are so right, but I'm now barren. Lucky for me DH isn't Henry the VIIIth." With a crazy person smile. Word must have got around, none of them ever asked again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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wow! THAT's inappropriate. Unless your family knew that you were desperately trying, they did not deserve that kind of a reply IMHO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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NP - I think the intrusive people asking deserved it. People know no boundaries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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oh come on, they lose their immunity from rudeness when they *lectured* her about a very personal matter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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Actually, I think they did. Even if we didn't plan to have another, my cousins and aunts had NO right to tell us that we were harming our DD by not providing her with a sibling, or to tell me I was letting the family down by not having another child - who was sure to be a boy this time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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ew, that is gross! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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Yeah, this while I was suffering through so-and-so's third baby shower, etc. In my family, you keep having babies until you have a boy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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itda. Good for OP. They were insensitive and prying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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You're kidding. I think they TOTALLY deserved it. None of anyone's business, people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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ITDA. I LOVE her response. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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cool word, barren. did you stop her in her tracks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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She just blinked, all confused, because I was smiling so widely. I always wonder what people think your response would be when they are attacking your life and your choices in the most "helpful" manner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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I wold have said told her I had no uterus and couldn't have another dc and then see how she reacted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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I've never got a lecture, but people do ask all the time if/when we're having another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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it's not just you. i get the opposite argument (why are you having so many, why would you want to harm your kids by having them so close together, etc). i just ignore. i'm happy with my decisions, dcs are happy, i'm not going to change things b/c of you, especially taking into account the inherent rudeness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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wow. people are unbelievable sometimes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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People are so rude. I really only wanted one dc and was constantly defending that decision. I am an only and I do not at all feel like I was "subjected" to anything. In fact, I am very much aware of how many opportunities I had because I was an only. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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I tell them I had bc and chemo put me in menopause. That shuts them up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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Barren OR above: Let's hope it does! I think there's a big difference between people just making conversation and getting lectured about it - I have no idea why people think they have any right to tell others how to manage their family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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A few months back I was suddenly getting lectured by taxi drivers, strangers on the street, people at school with large families, etc. It was like a cosmic plot against me. I would just nod and say "Maybe." Sadly, I DO actually want another but I don't think it's in the cards. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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I have a 2 yo and am going to turn 42 - i just tell people i'm too old if they try to ask. That also shuts them up. I also say that we're thrilled to have him and feel so lucky to have one. People are such A-Holes for asking anything. you SHOULD tell them to STFU. Pathetic, nosy people need to get a life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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I also went thru IVF and don't want to do that again - a bit dangerous at age 43 and we already have a perfect dc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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We just can't afford it living on the UES - we would have to move, pay more for apt, maintenance, nanny, classes, STUFF, tuition, etc. Commuting would suck - I want to see the one child I have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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I am 42 also and the reason I prob won't have more is a mixture of age plus my illustrious history of infertility and m/c. I get so pissed at times that I just tell them the real reasons I only have 1 dc and that shuts them the hell up. If only that would teach them to mind their own business, but I doubt it does. Some people have no capacity for higher thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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I am astonished that people have to put up with "lectures" about a personal choice. I've had people ask if I was going to try for a DS (I have two DDs), and I've said the factory is closed. Subject closed. I cannot imagine berating someone or putting up with a berating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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Next time reply: "Me thinks thou feels I give a shit about your opinion." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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^^Me feels, thouu thinks...; ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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REPORT THIS PERSON TO HR for harrassment. Idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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I find this unbelievable, and I would be very indignant to say the least. My only DC is adopted (and it is obvious), and I'm 51, so maybe that is why I've never gotten that particular form of rudeness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 03:28 PM Flag
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My sister called me selfish when I told her we planned on only having one. When a stranger does it, I tell them two of our children died (lie) and that usually shuts them up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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Like you, I had my one and only in my late 30s (39), but I've never been lectured on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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Sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you told her where to go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 04:28 PM Flag
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I can't believe the rudeness. what's wrong with people?? No one's business but yours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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After I got married my dh and I really wanted a baby, but it took 7 motnhs (I know, not that bad, but I was really worried). Ppl kept asking if we would have one but I told everyone we might later as if we weren't trying, b/c I didn't want to give the whole story in case I was infertile or whatever. Now I am so careful because you don't know who is trying and can't, it wasn't that bad for me but still very hard to worry about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.08, 09:06 AM Flag
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