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06.24.08, 08:45 AM General Topics
33 replies
would you be upset if you found out your dh looks at playby.com. by choice we have been living apart for the past year only because of a work situation. we are happily married otherwise. should i be upset by this or just chalk it up to he's a man and we're apart for weeks (or more) at a time [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 08:45 AM Flag
 

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What is that site? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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left out the o [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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Then grow up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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what [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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Adults are allowed personal space and to masturbate. I thought the site was going to be some classifieds site, like he was looking for partners. He's jerking off to a (relatively tame) photo when you aren't around. Big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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understood, but i would not do it. dont feel the need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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But so many men do, shouldn't strike you as uncommon. It's surprising that it's surprising to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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not surprising i guess, but we have such a good intimate relationship, i thought i was all he ever wanted - not realistic i guess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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I would argue it would be unhealthy if he didn't masturbate, particularly under the circumstances. Last thing you'd want was a horny DH across the country. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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you're right. thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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Sounds like you guys are almost through a situation that would strain the best marriages - so I'd be celebrating what a great couple you are to have this be the only strife. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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thanks - i needed that. our ds is almost 4 and loves his dad so much, as do i. i cant wait for this to be over - feel like we will appreciate every day life even more. so it that way MAYBE it was a good thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:18 AM Flag
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a dh: how can you have a good intimate relationship and live apart for a year? I mean John and Abigail Adams had a great intelectual relationship and all but when he was away, it was far from intimate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:21 AM Flag
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when we're together its great [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:24 AM Flag
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Unless you have no fantasy life we all do this in one way or another. Whether it is an actor you saw on tv that night, a guy you work with, whatever -- we all project our fantasy life onto people other than our spouse. This is neither disrespectful nor dishonest. -dh again [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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understood, but i dont do it. really i only want him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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are you saying 1. you have no fantasy life or that 2. he is the star in each and every fantasy you have? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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i suppose i have fantasys very, very rarely. he fills all of my needs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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of course not, its either jo to that or the JCPenny underwear ads. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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I would be a bit upset, and would rather not know, but honestly I would be looking at porn too if I was in your situation... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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for me, i dont think about it when he's not here. when he is here i want it alot. guess men and women are just different that way. once he's back for good (which should be soon) if he still looks at it , would you be upset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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I would definitely be upset if I were around. My hubby thinks I'm a bit of a prud, but he's very respectful of my feelings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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so you would not be upset if you were currently in my situation (living apart)? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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I would be a bit jealous and upset because I hate the idea of dh looking at other women, but I think what he is doing is normal, and I would let him be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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I would not be upset. I would rather know that he was home looking at porn then out with other women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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thanks. you're right. so you would not say anything unless it continues when he's back living with us full time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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basically... You could mention that you've seen it, not thrilled, but willing to live with it right now, but not once you're together again. That way you don't have to worry about whether he's planning on continuing when you move in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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or i could just check if he visits the site after he's back full time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 09:53 AM Flag
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DH Here: No need to worry. My wife and I had a situation like this. I had a long term job posting that had me spend 6 months in Seattle with her in New York and not seeing each other much. I would look at porn and stuff to help me masturbate. It was mainly since I didn't have the chance to have sex with DW. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 10:17 AM Flag
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so its not that you wanted those women or were comparing them to your wife - it was more of a practical thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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do you look at it now that you are living together. could it become a habit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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This DH says that porn is never, ever, ever as satisfying as being with your DW. Porn doesn't sigh in your ear, wrap it's arms around you, hold you inside afterwards and it can never love you back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 10:58 PM Flag
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Wuss [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 01:18 AM Flag
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