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06.23.08, 13:44 PM General Topics
41 replies
DH recently let go. He wants to pursue a new career path which requires 5-6 yrs. of schooling. I can't pay for full-time daycare on my salary alone. WWYD? Ask DH to take care of both kids all day and go to school at night? Get au pair and have DH fit in classes when au pair is "on"? Tuition will be paid by ILs/loans. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 01:44 PM Flag
 

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How old is DH? I am never impressed with someone who wants a new path when they have already committed to a family - those carefree days are over. He is also discouraged because of the lay off and is certainly thinking that this is a sign from God. If he must do this he can go to school at night and care for kids during the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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Wow! That's pretty heartless. Doesn't DH get to live a fulfilled life in a career of his choosing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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Absolutely he does, when he is single. Now he has the welfare of a family to consider foremost and his personal fulfillment takes a backs seat until his children are on their own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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Good thing DH is married to me, not you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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Why bother to ask for opinions if you are going to bark at everyone who offers? It sounds like you are well matched. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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I'm just shocked at your opinion. You seem to be the only one who feels this way, btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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nr -- not the only one. if he just wants to do something he would like better, he needs to do that on his own time, after all the responsible grown-up needs have been met. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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I think the or is right actually. It seems kind of childish. If he had decided to try this before getting laid off, I would probably have a slightly different opinion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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i agree. if this were his passion he would have been working towards it already. this sounds more like a dread of rejection trying to find a new job in his current field. he's avoiding it my doing something exciting and new instead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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Maybe there are no good jobs in his current field. If he is in finance, it's the worst field to look for a job in right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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op: This is the case--no good jobs in current field. Proposed new field has great prospects and it's the right fit for our family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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Actually no one on this thread supports the idea of DH in school f/t with no child care responsibilities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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Turn the tables... any mom who went back to school would have to figure out childcare. Why should a man be given a pass to be a carefree student for 5-6 years while his wife deals with work and kids herself? (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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nnp: He absolutely needs to help figure out childcare but if he does not have a job now he may well need some retraining to get the next one. there is compromise to be had. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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not at the expense (including financial expense) of the minors who depend on him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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or figure out a program that allows him to work and go to school at the same time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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what is the new career? not sure if my answer would differ or not dependin, bt it might. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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i'm in somewhat same boat btw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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in the medical field. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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What's the career? What does he do now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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np - those direct questions always scare me, some times even when you give the answer, and the or was just curious and does not reply [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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He's currently more in the finance field. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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has he had any experience in medical field? I would be worried that he would do all that schooling, only to find out he didn't like it that much after all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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Like a doctor? What about all the residency stuff? That's more like a 10 year undertaking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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Like a doctor, but not an MD--no residency, not a 10-year undertaking--a 5-6 year undertaking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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what is it he wants to do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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Why the secrecy about what he wants to do? Does he want to be a nurse? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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that wouldn't take 5 years... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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If he wanted to be a registered nurse and had to go back to school to take undergraduate science, etc., courses it would [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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not if he already has a b.a., which I'm assuming he does if he is in finance. My bil is doing it in three years, and he needed to take a bunch of prereqs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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I bet he wants to be a chiropractor... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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Ah, maybe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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He has to watch the kids during the day and go to school at night. That's what every mother I know who has gone back to school has done (at least before their own kids were old enough to be in school.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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OR: ITTTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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you do know that au pairs aren't cheap, right? Are you sure that you could afford that? If so, then that is probably the right choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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Au Pairs are also not able to work as f/t nannies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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Just don't leave dh and au pair at home together [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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yes -- he stays with kids during the day and does school at night. one of you needs to provide $, one of you needs to provide childcare. school happens at night since it's what he's doing to pursue a preference, not a necessity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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Why be so black or white about it. If going to school is in your family's longterm interest you and he need to figure out how he can do this and succeed. He could ck w the schhol to figure out how much study time he needs. Maybe you do daycare or babysitter part time. School may even have cc. Last thing u want is to set yourselves up for failure [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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My mom worked 9-5 and my dad went to school evenings and worked nights. They did that for several years after my brother and I were born. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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We had a similar situation. DH had always wanted to go to law school but because of various reasons had not been able to starting out. We finally decided to go ahead and do it. He quit working and went full-time, and we survived with two dcs in an apartment in Brooklyn. Now three years later, he is making so much more money and we are definitely happy we did it. So there is hope! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:47 AM Flag
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