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06.23.08, 09:49 AM Expecting
15 replies
Just had a friend berate me for like 20 min b/c I plan to go back to work 3 mos after I deliver. She's a single mom and she thinks b/c DH has a good job that I shld take more time off b/c I don't need the money. Oh, and that nannies are awful and can do things that will make it harder for you to breast feed. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Expecting 06.23.08, 09:49 AM Flag
 

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you haven't had db yet, right? While she was way out of line to berate you, she's probably just expressing her own frustrations about not being able to spend enough time with db. I'm a WOHM and a total career person but I found it much harder than I ever would have thought to go back to work. I don't know what the nanny thing was all about though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 09:52 AM Flag
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No, EDD is Oct. She said nannies would like bottles and pacifiers and would make it hard for you and therefore you should keep DB with you at all times. My career is imp to me but I'm open to the possibility that I may find it hard to go back - that's the whole pt: I don't know and just like my birth plan, my nanny plan, my breast feeding plan, I'm willing to be flexibile and see how it goes. She thinks I'm basically being a bad mom b/c I could afford to take time off work and don't plan to, and b/c I indicated I wasn't 100% behind breastfeeding if it got too hard b/c of my work and DH doesn't work 9-to-5. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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np: just for some clarity, would you EVER say anything like this to a friend? don't listen to any of her cautionary "advice"... you'll figure out what works for YOU - we all have to find our own way... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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Like she doesn't even know my (yet-to-exist) nanny, how could she judge her already? Are all nannies cut from the same cloth of "I don't give a damn your parenting philosophy I'm imposing my will on yours?" I don't think so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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NO! See my post below. Plenty of nannies are supportive of BF. Keep in mind, they are giving the baby bottles, whether it has formula or BM in it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 10:06 AM Flag
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It's the beginning of all the annoying, santimonious comments you will begin to hear about breastfeeding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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That sucks. Everyone has their own issues and she is clearly unhappy with her own situation. The fact is, that not every job makes it easy to take more than 3 months off (if that) and that it IS important to find a nanny that is on board with your parenting philosophy - whether it is BF/FF, CIO/no-CIO, etc. You don't want a nanny that is going to try to impose her "way" on you/your child/your family. That all said, I BF for 13 months and had gone back to work (PT) at 6 weeks PP and my nanny is very supportive of BF. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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My nanny use to brag thatg my dd (her charge) only had breast milk and never had formula and she helped me to not waste a drop since she new that pumping was hard. The other nannies use to comment to me how great I was for doing it. Other cultures than ours are much more into bfing. I would also say that your db needs *you,* personally, more when they are older than when they are infants and any good caregiver can snuggle them and care for them. Ive been both a WOHM and SAHM and older kids questions and needs (homework, values, friendships) become complex. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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tell her to mind her own business. You do what you need to do whether it is financial or not. I went back after 3 months - I guess technically we don't NEED the money but I do make a very nice living and we would have been a bit strapped if I chose to stay home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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Why do ppl have to be so crazy about BF'ing? I had mentioned to someone when they asked how our baby preparations were going that we had gotten some bottles... the person got all overexited and started saying that I could go from breastfeeding directly to the cup, like the bottle was evil or something. But I will be going back to work and will need to use the breastpump, you need bottles for that. She actually said that she never wanted a bottle to touch her baby's mouth. Who cares if its a bottle, what matters is whats in it! I've begun avoiding the subject like the plague (except on UB I guess!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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I just don't know why when it come to preggers and babies people are so militant in their beliefs to the extent that they think you're evil if you disagree. I'm the original poster and just at lunch I had a random colleague make a face when I told her I didn't know the sex (I do, I just don't tell people). WTF? I barely know this woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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yeah, I expected more niceness and less weird hostility. I assume regardless of your choices you get just as much flack? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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I'm sorry... unfortunately they only legally hold jobs for three months so for many of us, even if we have some financial flexibility, we are limited in other ways. When you have a newborn/infant you get a lot of advice - about how to get them to sleep, why they are crying, etc. - from friends that have five seconds more experience than you and randoms in the grocery store and you have to just go with your gut. You sound normal though! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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I couldn't get pregnant right away and felt like we shouldn't put other aspects of life on hold (buying a house, going for promotions, etc) just because I "might" get pregnant. Now we have a house payment, student loans, jobs can't just quit everything. I think its the most wrong that men don't get comments when women do, no one expects my husband to quit his job, when in reality, if either of us stayed home, it would be a calculated "who makes more right now/has better benefits). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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Let it roll off your back [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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