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06.22.08, 08:43 AM General Topics
21 replies
For three years I've taken my DD to an activity several times a week. For three years I've seen the nanny of a kid who does the activity with her slowly destroy the spirit of the boy and his two younger siblings. I've seen her hit the baby, force feed a banana to one while another cried he was hungry, I've heard her bitch and complain about her bosses AND her job to her nanny pals -- in front of her charges -- she has never once brought something for the younger 2 to do while #1 takes the class (I usually end up playing with my younger DC and those kids) and every time I see them in the neighborhood the poor kids look scared and shell-shocked. There was a big event recently and I saw the kids' father for the first time in 3 years (never seen the mom). Instead of watching his son, he read a script the whole time. It's SOOOO sad. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
 

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so sad! can you try to speak to the mom...maybe she has no clue? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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About a year into it -- after seeing the nanny hit the baby because he was crying -- I thought I would say something at the next "event." I've never seen the mom. (I know there is a mom, though because I've heard the nanny say, "if you don't XYZ, then mommy will not come home tonight") This is a martial art -- there are belt tests every 2 or 3 months. They are big deals. I didn't see a parent until last month when I saw the dad for the first time. There is a lot these parents have no clue about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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what did you say to the dad? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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if you've seen her hit the baby, i'd bring it to the attention of the lace where the class is. ask them to contact the parents (they will have the contact info) to let them know there's a problem. you can even ask them to pass your # on to the parents if they have any questions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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another way to go is to call 911 or child protective services the next time you see physical abuse. they will follow up with the family, who will then be notified [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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ita about speaking to someone at the class, as long as it was just a smack and not a beating, I don't think 911 is a good idea...they might send police right then and take the kids away - which would probably scare them more than the nanny ever could. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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but the scare would be a one-time scare which would then bring the parents into the equation. a one-time really scary experience may be world better than years of cruel care [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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That is a good idea, but I'm afraid that the school will toss and not get involved. I have to tell you, if I were in your shoes, I would write down everything. I would follow the nanny home to get address and I would go on a weekend, ask for the mom and give her the information with your phone number. Then its in her court. BTW, I don't think there is anything wrong with the dad based simply on the fact that you observed him reading once. Who knows what the situation was, BUT - it takes a village - and we have to protect those children. If not, who is to blame if they grow up to be a serial killer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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I've been in your shoes (not quiet with hitting but certainly with verbal abuse and watched a nanny really put a little girl down). And, many, amny other things, including having two nannies tell me that they had "befriended" her so as to keep an eye on her and the little girl! I called the mother after month do this..she was in complete denial (even saying other people had called her!!). Commented on how she knows people and how dedicated this nanny is to her and her family. Flash forward 8 years, yes 8....they stil have the same nanny, she favors the boy child in a sickening way over the girl child....they family ended up a the sam school as us. I even watched as a subsitute nanny filled in and the oldest girl became a differetn person. But the mom is clueless ....or has another agenda.....I have never let my daughter have a playdate with this daughter (and the nanny..the girl has been welcomed at our house). The mom and dad and irresponsible about other things too...the movies they allow their children to watch, etc. My child has even been tutoring the other girl in math in school (I doubt the parents give her much assistance). For yor own conscience and as a good citizen, please make a try at this...get her phone number and call....you never know [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 09:15 AM Flag
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that's so sickening and tough position for u. i feel for that little girl. sounds like the mother would mess her up, nanny or not. ugh!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 09:52 AM Flag
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she is an executive at an interantional company, and relaly thinks she is doing the right thing...but has missed her daughter staring a school play, etc.....didn't evne send the crappy nanny as a back up and the father works fomr home and is foul and clueless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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^^scuse the spelling above....this gets me worked up! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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Confront the family ASAP. This is abuse and these out-to-lunch parents should know. People should not have kids if they are going to be so uninvolved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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I don't see how one (you and everyone else there) could witness this for 3yrs and not do anything. Speak with the owner of the martial arts studio, the teacher, the other parents. Follow the nanny home and find out the family's address, then go back in the evening and speak with the parents. Video record the nanny on your camera phone and show it to the parents. What are you waiting around for? If the nanny does this in public, what do you think she's doing to those kids when no one's watching? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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ITA that you should try to reach the family, however, in my 8 years of parenting exp. I have seen a few times where these types of parents don't take action. I'm sorry, but don't you think that if their eyes and ears (and hearts!) were open they would have some clue. They would ask their kids about their days. They would have some clue about what goes on. I have hired caregivers and I've always tried to ask for feedback from people and I just know in my heart when someone is a psycho ... I really think they don't want to know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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OP: You know what? I have three kids of my own and no time to go all Harriet the Spy on this nanny and the kids' family. It's clear to me the parents don't care and probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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then why are you posting this? you've already decided not to involve yourself. oh, and you clearly have the time to UB endlessly, but not to alert those parents about their nanny. nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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yep. flame me all you want, at least I don't pay a monster to raise my kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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no, you've just turned a blind eye to it and refuse to do anything and you *know* exactly what is going on, which may *not* be the case for the parents [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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you sound like kind of a jerk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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you really shouldn't make assumptions about whether or not parents "care" based on their willingness to attend a karate activity...the nanny may not be conveying what is going on or they may have jobs that do not allow leaving during the day (have a friend who is a great parent, but is a surgeion, for example). You've never even spoken to either one of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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