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06.22.08, 03:51 AM General Topics
32 replies
working moms with nannies, how do you work out wages and hours of your nanny? i just had baby #2 and am considering switching from daycare to nanny - my day begins 7-7:30 and i return at 6:00-6:30, what kind of wage is reasonable? (1st kid will stay in preschool most of day). [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 03:51 AM Flag
 

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where do you live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 05:30 AM Flag
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$600 to $700 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 05:52 AM Flag
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so you will need a nanny from 6:30 am to 6:30 pm? 5 days a week? you should hire a nanny that looks just like you so your baby doesn't forget who the hell you are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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np: You're a horrible person and I hope you get what's coming to you saying something like that to someone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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She is a horrible person for saying that so nastily, but I've done a ton of babysitting, and it's the truth. It always amazes me that parents think that they can leave their kids with someone else for most of their waking hours, and not form more of an attachment to the care provider, especially true in a nanny situation as opposed to day care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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You want your child to form an attachment to the care provider, that's the point of a nanny, but you're delusional if you think they form more of an attachment to you than the parents. My son spends more time with me than the babysitter, but much less time with my husband than the sitter. He's still far more attached to my husband. Don't fear-monger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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how can that be? if the child sees more of someone else, how could htey possibly form an attachment? are they forming an attachment to pictures? to stories? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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I'm guessing you're not a parent yourself. It's really not just about the hours you spend with a child. And I didn't say my son never sees dh. He spends all weekend with him, he sees him in the morning and often at night. He knows DH is his Dada and probably that DH loves him in a way the sitter doesn't. I don't know. He's his father and it's different than a sitter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:50 AM Flag
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actually i am a working parent and i worry about the fact that my son spends a lot of time out of our hands. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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Well of course you worry about the time your child isn't with you. You're the parent. On the other hand, doubt your sitter spends her idle moments worrying about your kid when she's not with him. That's one of the differences in the relationship and I think kids are pretty savvy and know who really loves them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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I think that really depends on the sitter and how caring she is. Obviously, if it is obvious to the kid that she really doesn't care, than they are not going to for as strong of an attachment. Hence I don't think that this is nearly the same problem if you send dc to daycare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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with #1 i WOH, and now with #2 i SAH. sorry to say, it's totally different. i fell terrible for cheating #1 the way i did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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actually, attachment is really just about the hours you spend with a child. do you know anything about attachment theory? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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studies show that it's quality of time together, not sheer quantity, that is the key. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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So one hour a day of REALLY quality time is better than 12 hours of just "regular" time? that's a load. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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ita, you're talking about the op being away for almost all baby's waking hours a day, 5 days a week... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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i guess everyone needs something to talk about w/their therapist later in life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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I'm not a babysitter any more, and was never a nanny... This was before I had dc. I saw most kids being very attached to nanny, not as much with parents. I got to see both when the others weren't around. Just my experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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^^^ so no, the kids were never more attached to me than either parents or nanny... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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i agree. well said. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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you know, the post is a bit cavalier w/out a twinge of - HOLY SHIT, i won't see my kids at all.......... just very factual. somewhat disturbing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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Some people don't feel the need to inject guilt into every conversation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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i wish i were you! seriously. guilt colors a lot of things for me. perhaps that means i'm not making the right choices!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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seriously, when does OP plan to see her children? this is one of the saddest, most pathetic posts I've seen on UB and that says a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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I bet all of the wohm's here are in pretty much the same boat. When you factor in commuting times and lunch, people are out of the house far more than 8 hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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depends on where you live. i'd ask other moms if htey know what the range is for your neighborhood. (don't ask nannies and don't ask people what they are paying...just ask if they know the range). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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going rate is about $14/hr. I pay a fixed rate each week. She goes home early often or has days off when I'm home, but also works later some nights. It just seems easier to pay a flat rate than track hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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if you don't pay overtime which is THE LAW you could be in trouble. it may be easier now but if she wanted to, she could go to the department of labor. you probably aren't paying her on the books either, I assume? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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I do pay on the books. We pay her social security. It's like she's on salary I guess. She definitely gets paid for more hours than she works. Is this really illegal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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she is not a class of employee that can be paid a salary. she needs to get overtime. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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It will end up being less money for her if we track the hours. She's not gonna like it, but I'll consult my accountant. thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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ignore the ppl saying that you're not parenting your kid etc. i'm a wohm and dh is a wohd, and our nanny works 50 hrs/week. that's pretty standard among ppl we know. we pay $550/wk, in brooklyn, about to raise to 600. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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