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06.20.08, 13:24 PM Toddler
32 replies
Caregiver just told me that she's taking off in August for a week and that if I want to go on vacation, I should go then. Why do I let her get away with that kind of behavior, other than the fact that I know I can trust her with my child? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 06.20.08, 01:24 PM Flag
 

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What is your agreement with her? My babysitter picks two weeks and I pick two. The only restriction on her two weeks is if I can't get them off from work for some reason, but even then I try to work it out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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I'm supposed to pick one week and she picks two, but everytime I pick one, she says she can't go then. Then she acts like I'm being unreasonable when I tell her that she's supposed to coordinate 1 week with me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:28 PM Flag
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She's taking advantage of you. If you can get the time, give her the week but make it clear she has to accommodate you the other way around or there will be a change in vacation policy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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when was the last time you picked the week? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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Let's see, she's been working for me for about 8 years. Um, NEVER. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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She's way too comfortable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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The problem is that you are a wimpy manager. This is one of her weeks. Next timeyou take a vacagtion, that is another of her weeks. She informs and you inform. You aren't unreasonable, you just do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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I know... that's what all my non-mom friends tell me. But the caregiver is the one who's taking care of DC. I can't wait to get rid of caregiver in the spring! I'll kick it off with champagne and caviar! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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Why are you keeping her if you are unhappy? And I'm not a non-mom...I've had tow very successful long term relationships with great nannies. See my advice below on speaking with "marla." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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That aside, if she picks two, what's the problem with telling you she's taking a particular week in August? The week you pick, if she can't go away, that's her problem, not yours. Likewise, I guess the week she picks, you have to find some way to accommodate.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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I agree... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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You all have a point. I just have to say to her that if she can't go away during my week, that's her problem. Now all I have to do is actually say it. And yes, she's way too comfortable but it seems that all of my friends have similar problems with their nannies. They have us moms over a barrel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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I think too many mom sin NY have never had management jobs before hiring nannies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:36 PM Flag
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No, they don't. You can ALWAYS find someone else to care for your child. It's the mom's who feel that they'll never find another nanny who put themselves in these situations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:37 PM Flag
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^moms, not mom's, of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:37 PM Flag
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I am extremely accommodating to my nanny. When she needs a half day off, I don't dock her or expect her to make it up. She definitely takes advantage of that fact now. I just have to hang in for a few more months until I no longer need her, I guess. But, boy do I dislike her! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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np: I know I could get another nanny, but I'm a single parent of an only child, and the other day in ds's school, I saw the family portrait he drew included me, him, his cousins and the nanny. I decided at that point that she would have to do something REALLY bad for me to fire her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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do you take vacation at work? do you tell them in advance for convenience? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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NP - I don't know about you but I *ask* at work. I don't inform. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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I 've always informed. But I ve done it far in advance and stated it such away that it might sound like asking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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I always inform as well, I never really ask.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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I tell my boss in advance in case there are any conflicts. Also, I don't tell my boss when he should go on vacation for my convenience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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I think that is perfectly acceptable, especially if you haven't scheduled yours yet. She's giving you two months notice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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Depends on their agreement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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OP-I don't think it's reasonable for me to tell me to go on vacation at her convenience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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she's just saying that she will be off. You tell her that this is not your week in common as you had not planned to be on vacatgion, but you appreciate the notice....I'm beginning to see now why you feel annoyed. "Marla, thank you so much for the long notice you gave me last night for your vacation week. I'll try to let you know with the same kind of notice when I pick the second week of your vacation. " BTW, this assumes that you do pay her every week of the year, no matter waht and that, chances are, you take at least 2 weeks of vacation where you do nto need her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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Would you believe that I try not to take vacation now, just so that she doesn't get extra paid weeks to stay at home? And yes, I do pay her for every week of the year. She has never tried to accommodate me, despite saying she would. She always says she can't go then and I need to build up the nerve to say, "Awww, that's too bad for you." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:37 PM Flag
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shouldn't take that much nerve, really. And to decide not to take vacation to avoid giving the nanny extra paid time off seems like a classic case of cutting off your nose to spite your face.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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I know what I sound like. If I were my friend, I'd be like, "You're utterly ridiculous." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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We all have our moments. ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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you need to grow a pair. set a better example for your kids by treating c/giver with respect but be firm. you're teaching your kids to be pushed around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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i treat my caregiver with way too much respect. that's the problem. btw, i don't have these conversations with her in front of my child. but i definitely need to grow a backbone. I have one, but DH won't let me get rid of the caregiver. Of course, he's not the one dealing with her on a daily basis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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