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06.19.08, 17:43 PM General Topics
14 replies
DH miserable in his job, complains about it, but any suggestions or verbal support I offer are not particularly well-received. He just lists reasons why what I say won't work/doesn't apply to him. Any advice? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.19.08, 05:43 PM Flag
 

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no no thats MY husband [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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OP: Holy s**t! He's a bigamist, too! I knew he seemed tired. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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put him time out... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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OP: One minute for every year? 43 minutes? He'd just fall asleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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but then he'd stop the complaining... I know ppl who do this and it's just that they want to vent... there's nothing you can say, but it is an annoying and pointless exercise [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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OP: tru dat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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Just say nicely, "Look I'd like to help you with this, but you don't seem to want my help. If you ever do want my help figuring out how to make you happier, please let me know. I just want to see you happy." Then when he complains just listen and say "that sucks." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks--that's kind of what it has evolved into. "Just let me know if there's anything I can do to help with this" and now I just say, "yeah, I know," when he beefs. I've even said, "You seem stuck" and he says, "I'll figure it out." So I guess he will. I just wish he could get some momentum going because the longer he does nothing, the worse he's going to feel. Thanks for your help and the opp to vent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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start talking like a therapist....things like "so what I hear you saying is that you are miserable at your job" or say 'yeah that sounds really awful, I can't believe you have to put up with that"...but don't actually offer any solutions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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that is what therapists are like? why would anybody pay them $$$ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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Well, I have been to two (once as a teen - family therapy becuase of drug addicted sibling, and once with DH for marital therapy) and know two personally and this is how the four I know of were. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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maybe he thinks you are judging him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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OP: He may. He can be sensitive. I'm so not judging him--it's just that he's unhappy and I hate to see him like that. I'm very quick to make changes when I'm unhappy (it's just a job/apartment/piece of furniture/whatever, is how I see it). I don't mean to sound pat when I suggest stuff but maybe I do... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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