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06.19.08, 17:17 PM General Topics
5 replies
Any advice on explaining to a three year old when someone has a facial deformity and they ask about it in front of them. I am really struggling with making dc sensitive but also figuring out what to do in the moment. Thanks so much. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.19.08, 05:17 PM Flag
 

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can you discuss at home that not all ppl look the same, some are born with what looks like boo-boos on their face or sometimes with one arm or one leg, ect..and if you ever see someone like that, it's not nice to point it out but you can talk privately with mommy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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^^^you can say we don't say things to them because it may make them sad or feel like we are making fun of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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I agree with this but would add that talking about what people looks like can hurt their feelings, so that's why we don't talk about people's appearance in front of them. It's OK to agree, privately, that the other person does look different. Just be matter of fact about it. Yup, that's right. His face did look different. He sure was good at soccer, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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In the moment, I might say something like, "You know, we all look different, but it's not always polite to point out our differences. If you're curious, next time you can just ask Mommy afterward." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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It's tricky but one thing to remember is that the person with the facial deformity knows she has it and knows that kids are kids, and probably is cutting your kid a lot more leeway that you think. We live in an area with a lot of elderly people with various issues and my girls used to say stuff like "why does he have that on his face" or "look, his leg is really big" and i'd just say, "That's right, when people get old sometimes their bodies don't work as well" or whatever. Just be matter of fact: "Yes, her face is a little different but we all have things that are different about us, and sometimes they're on the outside where you can see them." Worked for us, anyway. (BTW, my brother is autistic, so they know from "Uncle G. doesn't talk like us, but he likes to see you," etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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