UrbanBaby

06.19.08, 11:02 AM General Topics
11 replies

Friend of mine is dealing with major potty training issues. Would like input/advice. Her son is 3.5 yo and started potty training last summer to prepare for preschool. He was successful peeing, but would not poop on the potty. She would sent him in a pull up for the entire school year with no accidents. But he will not poop on the potty. She is insane about it. Advice? What do you think this is about? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.19.08, 11:02 AM Flag

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my dd was like this. no clue why. all the literature i read said to just go with it - she'd go in the potty when she was ready. dh did not subscribe to this theory and banned pullups. she never went in her panties - would just cry and beg for a pullup and withheld her poop. i gave it two weeks - told him i'd try his way but on day 14 i was going back to pullups. she gave in on day 5 and after a few weird weeks she is totally fine. now 8 y.o. and no issues. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:06 AM Flag

So what would you recommend? Stopping the pull ups all together? It is crazy, we go for playdates over there and he plays with peers who are totally trained, but will slink off to the corner to poop. It makes my friend CRAZY and I wonder if it is now a power struggle between them? Have you ever heard of anyone hiring a potty trainer? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:08 AM Flag

i, honestly, don't know. dd was 3 yr and about 3 months when we tried it my dh's way. she does not seemed scarred many years down the road. i don't know if we had done it in a kinder and gentler way if the results would have been the same or if we would have had the rare kid that holds poop all day and then asks for a pullup when she gets home from kindergarten. i suspect the latter b/c she didn't start pooping in public without resistance until 1st grade. i don't know that there is an absolute right or wrong way but more what will work for individual families. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:13 AM Flag

My son went through this for a few months. On the advice of our ped we didn't push it at all, just told him that when he decided to use the toilet to poop we would take him to the toystore to pick out something new. He did on his own after about 3 months, no looking back. I would guess that pushing it/making a huge issue out of it, only makes it worse because it becomes a power struggle (and 3 yos are fantastic at power struggles) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:07 AM Flag

I just find it hard to believe that he has been going for a YEAR with this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:08 AM Flag

One of my friend's kids did this until after his 4th birthday. I think some kids just have issues. She could try to take the pullups away and see what happens, but it may be that he'll just go in his underwear or start holding it - neither really better options. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:10 AM Flag

Why do you find it hard to believe? I know many parents who experienced this. Every child is different. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:11 AM Flag

Mine wouldn't poop on the potty for about a year after being trained for pee. She would ask for a pull-up, go, and put her underwear back on. We obliged her. Once we approached a year we started weaning off the pull-ups - did a countdown to no pullups, made a big deal out of buying the last package, decided on a "reward" for pooping on the potty and the very day we used our last pull-up she pooped on the toilet. It's really one of the only measures of control a child has. Our ped said not to push it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:09 AM Flag

Leave it alone. The child is only 3.5, he's not going to be 4 and still wearing pull ups. Your friend shouldn't make the kid crazy, shouldn't make herself crazy. Its gonna happen. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:11 AM Flag

np: i think that leaving it alone is a fine method. i think you're completely wrong that the kid will definitely not be 4 y.o. and still wearing pull ups. he very well could be if they choose to leave it alone. that wouldn't be a tragedy but it could happen. what's the difference b/t wearing pullups at 3.5 and wearing them at 4? only 6 months [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:16 AM Flag

Lots of boys are still working on potty training at 3.5 and virtually all of them have got it down by 4. Not all, but most. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 11:28 AM Flag