UrbanBaby

06.19.08, 06:07 AM General Topics
11 replies

i'm feeling sort of mid-lifey, i guess. 43 and not really sure what the point is. i guess i made the mistake of wrapping my identity up in my children and not really developing myself professionally or creatively. Now that they are teenagers and I am working (f/t at an unfulfilling job but we need the $$), i feel a little lost. as i'm typing this, it looks really pathetic, but there it is in a nutshell. don't really see a way out until they are big, but wish i had made more of myself. sigh. sorry for the pity party [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.19.08, 06:07 AM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

FWIW I have accomplished a lot professionally (by most standards) and I feel the same way...asking myself what's the point of my career and thinking I should have done something more altruistic or meaningful [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:23 AM Flag

but if you had, wouldn't that mean that you had your identity wrapped up in your career? why is that better than wrapped up with your family? i think the point is not be wrapped. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:32 AM Flag

have you contemplated a career counselor? they usually double as therapists and maybe could give you a needed boost. i suggest it as i am thinking about it myself. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 06:34 AM Flag

thank you everyone for your responses. i don't mean to imply that i wished i'd concentrated less on my children. it's just that there is nothing else in my life which provided me with such a sense of purpose and meaning. i have not obvious talents and do not much enjoy my work, nor do i have any idea what would fulfill me. sad, a little bit, i guess. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:01 AM Flag

that's such a bad attitude. why not say that you were lucky to find something that gave you such a sense of purpose and meaning. and now it's time to go find the next thing that will give you the same feelings. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:06 AM Flag

you are right! thanks for the kick in the pants. i guess i am just stumped as to what that would be. what types of things do you do if you don't glean satisfaction from your work and so need to enrich yourself elsewhere? tia. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:09 AM Flag

fun question. i guess to a certain extent it depends on your circumstances. how much time and money do you have to devote yourself to your "enrichment". are you looking for a hobby/activity or are you looking for a total change (e.g. a career/job that you'll get more satisfaction out of). do you like working with people? what are your skills? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:11 AM Flag

just want to be happy and do something useful and helpful. wanted to be a dancer, but have arthritis. beyond that, i'm open. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:26 AM Flag

couple of thoughts. if you have dance training, why not do something like kids' dance classes. other than that, you can try volunteering or even switching fields to work with people (social work? i have a friend who did that in her mid forties and she loves it). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:29 AM Flag

you are very kind! thanks for your input. i am really interested in changing this situation, not just feeling sorry for myself, so really, thank you for your guidance [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:42 AM Flag

I'm nearly your age (42), but my children are younger and I spent more time in the workforce than you did before staying home with them. I seriously doubt you can find any paid work that fills you with such a strong sense of purpose and meaning. Only parenting can do that. Chris Rock said it was the only job where he knew he was doing the right thing. So true! But you (and I) are young still. You can find paid work that you enjoy and makes a contribution to be proud of. You have a good twenty to twenty-five years of working life left! If you can afford a career counselor, hire one. But if you can't, start talking to friends, bosses & co-workers. They will help you understand the strengths and skills you have and maybe point you in a happy direction. Good luck! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:15 AM Flag