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06.18.08, 19:02 PM Newborn
37 replies
Venting ... so disappointed right now!! we have a PT nanny for our 6 mo. ds and she is supposed to become his FT nanny (4 days/wk, 40 hrs) when i go back to work next month. she initially agreed to $500/wk plus lots of time off/vacation time, and now she wants $600 and when we didn't budge she still has to think about it. im starting to think she cares way more about money than our son and our family. she knows we love her and im going back to work in a few weeks, like she is taking advantage. even if she says yes now, i feel like i should still look around bc she will probably leave us if she finds someone else to pay her more, right??? what would you do? am i being unreasonable? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Newborn 06.18.08, 07:02 PM Flag
 

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The going rate for a FT nanny for those hours is $600. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Potentially, although I know plenty of people who pay $650 for 50 hours. It isn't the point anyway, the nanny agreed to $500/week + vacation time and is now reneging. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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The nanny is part time now. Going to full time means a raise to the going rate. I paid $675 for 50 hours. You get what you pay for [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Yes, but she agreed to the $500/week + vacation for full time. OP didn't say she makes $500/week now. The amount of money is irrelevant - she already agreed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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In a world where there is no union, anyone on any side of the table can agree to disagree and move on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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and it's so sad that this involves caring for a child. the whole nanny and childcare thing is so stressful and upsetting. it shouldn't have to be this way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Look, you hire someone to care for your child. Do you want a happy employee who is excited about her work, or a resentful employee? Seems to make sense to pay the going rate if not more if you can do it, for a happy employee. They are not your kids' moms, you are [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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i agree. we of course thought she was happy. and we would love to give her more money if we had it. that's why im concerned that even if she says yes now, its already been tainted and i think she will look for a new job and leave and i certainly dont want some to be unhappy while caring for my child. she knows we value her, i have told her a million times. i was just really stunned by her sudden demand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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my friend pays $650 to her nanny of 2 1/2 yrs for 2 kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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how many hours/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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44 hrs, 4 days/wk [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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going rate for two kids in NYC STARTS at $15/hr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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that's what i thought, right??? i have been told by more than 15-20 ppl that $15/hr is for 2 kids, and not for 1 kid, especially just starting out. is this wrong??? i did a lot of research on this. i know ppl pay more, but im taking average, fair, reasonable, salary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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funny, i have been told by so many ppl that the going rate for 1 child for 4 days/wk is more like $500. the park slope nanny compenstation survey just came out, avg rate is btw $12-13/hr for 4 days. most ppl i know only pay $600 starting out for 2 kids or to a nanny who has been with them for awhile. $15/hr is more for PT hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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Not fair to say she cares more about money than your family. She has a right to want a good wage. Though it's true she should have raised this much earlier on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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agreed. but she gave me this whole song and dance about how she loves us and she is not the kind of nanny who is about money and its more impt to work for a family she loves and now she comes at us with this???? i wish she had been honest from the beginning instead of putting us in a difficult situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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it's her job. any affection she has for your family is besides the point. Would you leave your job that you loved for a 20% pay raise? If it meant a better school or life for your kids? and extra $100 a week is a lot to many working people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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yes, and that extra $100 means a lot to me and my family as well. i dont make very much money and the only reason im going back to work is so we have health care and the rest of my salary is going to the nanny. i wish i could do daycare but i cant make the hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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I sympathize, and it sucks that she's put you in this situation. But if you would fight for and/or leave for a 20% raise, then don't blame her for doing so. Your family is lovely, I'm sure (no sarcasm, really!) but you're not a nonprofit. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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i agree, i dont blame anyone for trying to make a living. what upsets me is being led to believe one thing and then she does another and has made this all very stressful for my family. that is what upsets me the most. and when we discussed this for the 3rd time today, i dont want to be told again i'll think about it, if you make a demand, then live with the result. i dont appreciate being played around with, especially when it involves my son. thats all im saying. and thank you for the sympathy, i do appreciate it. like i said, just need to vent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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yup, I don't envy you. good luck, i hope it works out. you're either going to lose her or feel screwed, poor thing! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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thank you, i just wanted a little affirmation. i sincerely do appreciate it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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$12.50/hr is on the lower side. She has to make a living too. I pay mine 13.50/hr - 50 hrs with a lot of time off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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are the 50 hrs for 4 or 5 days? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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why would it matter? but it is 50 hr 5 day, but mondays are not the full 10 hr days -- they are only 6hrs, but I still pay for 10 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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it matters bc if the hours are contained in 4 days, and the 5th day is totally free, they can pick up other work and make more money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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np-doing what? hard to find a 1 day childcare gig and not many other jobs pay $13 per hour [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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she does some cleaning jobs on the side [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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OR REST because they're exhausted from working so long. They shouldn't HAVE to get another job to make ends meet. I think if you really like her you should pay a bit more. Perhaps you can negotiate some more 'tasks' for the increase. Good luck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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we tried that. we discussed giving her xtra money to do heavy cleaning in the apt (not just tidying up). we told her we just wanted to wait a month or so to make sure she had the time to do it. i know sometimes when im taking care of DS all day, i cant seem to find time to even shower, let alone scrub the bathroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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i know many many ppl who have 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet, really, i do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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its unrealistic of you to expect your nanny to want to work for less than the going rate just because she loves your child. it is still her job. you should nto be disappointed in her behavior [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:43 AM Flag
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yes, you are being unreasonable. she wants the money to which she is entitled, and, as much as she probably genuinely loves your ds, she probably realizes that there are other lovable children out there whose families will pay her the usual rate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:45 AM Flag
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everyone who is carrying on about the going rate must be nannies or something. I feel very badly for OP -- they had an agreement when she was hired. It doesn't matter what the specifics were. The nanny is now emotionally blackmailing the OP. NO on here can accept a job offer then a couple of months into the job demand a 20 percent higher salary. Come on! To the OP: I know it's hard because it's your db, but I think you need to start looking around for a more reliable, trustworthy nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 04:23 AM Flag
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itttta. slippery slope here-nanny likely to ask for other things that weren't agreed upon later [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 04:38 AM Flag
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i think this is a red flag. yes, everyone is entitled to a fair wage, but don't accept one thing and change it later. there are lots of good caregivers out there. I don't think you are being unreasonable-am surprised by responses saying you are. i live downtown and among friends, most pay anywhere between 10-25/hr (with bulk bw 10-15) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 04:20 AM Flag
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i totally feel for you. same thing happened to me. even if she agrees to the orig negotiated fee, are you going to be able to get past this? i tried to, but it was in the back of my mind for a long time and in the end, i, too felt like i didn't totally trust her anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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