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06.18.08, 18:38 PM NY Schools
55 replies
So frustrated with my local public PTA--am always sending suggestions of things they should be doing, and they never do any of them [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
NY Schools 06.18.08, 06:38 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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why don't you join, and do those things? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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Um, some people have to work full time at demanding jobs to afford to live in this city [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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If you aren't one of those amazon women who can work full time and run the PTA then why don't you let those who can put in the hours do it the way they want? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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They don't own the school just because they have wealthy dhs and stay home all day. My issues are valid, and I am contributing to the world in my own way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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As a full time working mom I sympathize but you sound like you may be coming off as a PITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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Whatever, I guess this is the thanks I get for not moving to the suburbs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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yes, as if you deserve thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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What's a PITA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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pain in the *ss [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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um, the majority of the parents at my dc's school pa are working parents. and a mix of jobs. no more or less demanding than other parents' responsiblilities. so get off your high horse and do something other than bitch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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I am a lawyer, 60-plus-hour weeks, thank you very much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Hi. We've kinda answered your question, but you don't like the answer. Part of your problem may be that you come across like a PITA. Or your suggestions may be PITA. One can be a Working Mom With a Very Serious Job without also being a PITA. Just consider the feedback you're getting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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np: and some of us downsize our lives so that we can be active in our community and schools. if you want to get involved, then make time and join. Otherwise stop bothering us who make lifestyle choices different than yours. (and, on a related note, take a freakin' vacation day once in a while and chaperone a field trip. You kids miss you.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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I will continue to make my own choices and provide a strong example to our dds, Susie Homemaker, and that does not mean I need to abdicate my voice in my dc's school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Again (from another working mom with a job that sounds a lot like yours), you sound unpleasant, defensive, hostile, and not very cooperative. Can you see how this might actually hurt your efforts to get something done? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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Are you f*cking kidding me? Don't get on the "I work so I'm setting a good example" high horse. Women who take an active role in their children's education make as great if not a greater impact than you do. So stop overcompensating for your WOH guilt by crapping on the choices of others. Signed FT WOHM who's class parent and involved in the PTA without being the PITA you are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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And we make our choices. I freelance, so I'm not a homemaker. But I get up at 5am and work so that I can make time for my school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Yes, and let me guess, your dh works full-time and pulls in big $$$. Or you have a house or big co-op that you bought for five dollars in 1997. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Now you just sound bitter in addition to entitled and obnoxious. I can't imagine how someone who keeps your high pressured hours even has time to UB. I say FAKE! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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I'm sure you can't imagine much of anything about it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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I think you need to step away from the computer. You're why the WOH/SAH battle exists. Take your entitlement and your attitude and do something positive for your kids with it. Or, direct that anger at your husband. B/c clearly you take issues with families who make more and yet are able to DO more than you do. But complaining is so much easier, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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No... judging others without revealing anything of your own circumstances is easiest of all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Read up, suagr. You're the one judging. I work full time, am class parent and am involved in the PTA. My DH doesn't make big $ at all and we went public b/c we had to, not b/c we wanted to. Judge that you freakin brat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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nope. we live in a rundown house and we pull in barely 90k together. we really really hope this is temporary. but we're involved in our community and our schools. I come from a family of local politicans and teachers, and this was a lifestyle choice for us. (when I quit my ft job, I was making more than my dh!) We struggle but we're happy. But seriously, don't save your vacation days for trips away--just take a day off and be a class parent, or walk them to the firehouse field trip, or make popcorn with the class on a rainy day. It's fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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I do take time for some of these things--and love it--but that's on an entirely different schedule than the PTA works on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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then maybe you need to be the trailblazer-- attend enough meetings and make your case when you have their sympathetic ears. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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^^^argh. excuse my barely understandable typing while nursing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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I think the point most people are trying to make is that it's really easy to complain or fire off suggestions, much less easy to make things happen, and if you're not willing to be one of the people making things happen, for whatever reason, you shouldn't necessarily expect other people to act on your ideas. They may have other priorities that are more important to them, and they are willing to commit the time to make those happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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well said! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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As someone pretty involved with the PTA I can tell you that they probably listen to your suggestions (along with the MANY others from other parents) and do they ones that they feel comfortable with. It's always the same few parents who help out and if you want to do something specific than you'll probably have to tell them you'll chair that particular event--working f/t or not. They probably do think you're a big PITA if you constantly make suggestions, but never help out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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AMEN. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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OP: I would be glad to help in some ways if they would take the time to approach me and work out a contribution, meetings, etc., that would suit the schedule of someone who works late hours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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they should approach you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Yes, there is a whole cohort of new two-career families in the school communities that might be able to make a contribution, if they were cultivated by the same old crowd of sahms and part-timers who are used to doing everything their way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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np-if you really wanted to make a contribution you would approach them .You just want them to come grovelling to you to ask for help- that will never happen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Please understand that I have ceased responding to you because it is obvious that practical words will fall on deaf ears. For some reason you believe that those doing things should bend to your needs just because you want them to. You need to make a decision to become involved or stay bitter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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you need to approach them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Here's a thought - that isn't their concern. Their concern is making the school your child goes to as good as it can be. Kissing your a$$ doesn't fall high on their list. I doubt implementing your "helpful" suggestions ranks high either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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OK, then they are going to have a hard time attracting the well-to-do new families of the area, who will opt for lottery schools or G&Ts or privates, where yes, they certainly will get the a$$ kissed a little more [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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really? your top reason for picking a school for your child is how well they kiss parental ass? yeesh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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So go private if you want your a$$ kissed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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yes, in those schools you will not only be asked, but expected to contribute and put in hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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we are at a top G&T, and I have yet to get my a$$ kissed. i also work similar hours. I contribute a ton of $$$, since i have no time to spare. They do a great job, and I am very pleased with the infrastructure they have put into place and run. I have not had any seriously great ideas, but if I did, I might go to the PTA meeting and see if anything was being done in the area of interest. I think you don't have the right attitude. You need to see that they are not there to serve you, but to make the school better. if you contribute money, that helps, but it won't buy you any a$$ kissing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Your best bet is to contact the PTA president directly. The executive board of the PTA (especially the PTA president) does so, so much and doesn't have the time to approach/contact every new parent. It is really a f/t job without any pay--constantly at school, dealing with the parents, teachers and office. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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as above OR suggested, going to the PTA meetings are a great place to start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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And cue the "but I work 60 hours a week" refrain. Funny, I manage to go to PTA meetings and work that much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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and where is dh? where are dcs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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Let's see - DH is at work and DC is at school. PTA mtgs are in the morning usually. Stop with your excuses. You want things without having to work for them. Tough sh*t. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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Would *love* if our executive board would hold meetings in the mornings... evenings only [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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Sometimes ours are evenings, too. You MAKE it work and go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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which, of course, is done to accomodate working parents.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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You can't win with her. I'm done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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They are not personal assistants. Get off your high horse and pitch in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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you can't be for real. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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Oh why oh why can’t my servants on the PTA do the simple things I ask of them? I am so much busier and more important than they are, there is no way I could possibly soil my own hands with the work, but here I am killing myself to give them orders and they ignore them! Listen, as a major volunteer with my daughter’s organizations, let me tell you I HAVE A JOB TOO. Most PTA parents do. We juggle. If you can’t find the time to participate, don’t waste our time complaining. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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