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06.18.08, 15:41 PM New York City
40 replies
do any of you have dh's that get very absorbed in work that they become distracted to become almost another person entirely? i ask because the person i am seeing becomes very distant and distracted when he is involved with a busy work day, and its very hard for me to not take it personally. he is leaving on a work trip today, i didn't hear from him all day. he called me on the way to the airport, we spoke for 3 mins and he said he would call me tomorrow. didn't ask how i was, or anything for that matter. I am sure he has a lot on his mind, but when he gets like this i feel very isolated and i take it personally. am i over-reacting? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 06.18.08, 03:41 PM Flag
 

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what does he do? my dh owns his own business and stays in NYC a couple of nights a week and we have 4 dcs. I have accepted that he is a workaholic. Unfortunately for him, if we divorce ever, i will be financially okay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:47 PM Flag
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he is the head of his own company as well. i know he has a lot of work, but i don't understand not caring about the person you are in a relationship with, and them being an afterthought really [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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What kind of company? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:51 PM Flag
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finance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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Is he married or leading a double life? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:49 PM Flag
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hes definately not married. why do you ask if he is leading a double life?? not ruling it out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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It sounds like if he really cared about you, he wouldn't cut you off like that. I would be curious to see if there was someone else. Where does he live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:53 PM Flag
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new york city. if i am not with him i def speak to him every night and he is reachable every evening [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:54 PM Flag
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How old is he? Has he been married before? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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yes he has [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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^^^36 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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omg, i hope it's not my bf...sounds like him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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How old??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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who is your bf??? how old? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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36 and in finance!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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how many children? what is his hometown? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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2 dcs, all i can say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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no! not him :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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1 dc and divorced [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:05 PM Flag
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obviously you are all fake. where is he from? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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LA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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not him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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From NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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no, diff guy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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what are his initials? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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you tell me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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He can be involved with someone and still speak to you daily. Has he ever been married or have children? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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Would i speak to him every evening if he were involved with someone else? would we spend every weekend together? not one evening goes by where we dont speak when he gets home, latest 9, and that is rare [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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why won't he see you during the week? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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no, of course i see him during the week, but the nights i have dc i don't go out really, but he comes to see me. but i do have dinner with him during the week [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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Dh was a total workaholic when I met him, and was often like that. he's better now, but does hyperfocus on projects. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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my dh gets like this too. I also have a hard time not taking it personally. I just try to choose when to talk and when to get involved in my own thngs. If I try to have a conversation with him when he's like that I just get frustrated. The good news is that its not every day and usually not on weekends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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yes, this guy is a different person when hes not busy, or on weekends we spend together. and then he can seem like a total stranger on days like today [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:51 PM Flag
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if the realtionship continues, you'll need to clarify expectations, like I need 1 call a day. worked for dh and me at the beginning [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:53 PM Flag
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oh, i def get one call a day. we usually text during the day. occassionally he will call mid day, and we talk every evening. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:54 PM Flag
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then accept that it isn't personal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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i am going to try. the above poster who says he may have a double life scares me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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men are not as good at multi-tasking as women, when their brain is on 1 thing anything else is a distraction [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 03:52 PM Flag
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I agree. OP should not take this personally [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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no, not overreacting. but, i understand it, when im absorbed in work i get short with my dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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