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06.18.08, 13:46 PM New York City
24 replies
Is anyone dealing with managing a parent's degenerative illness (or failing health) from another state? I'm in an administrative, emotional and logistical nightmare and would love some advice, feedback, support, cheering on... [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 06.18.08, 01:46 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

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funny you should post this... i'm waiting for a call back from my mom's doc in nh; she is disoriented after taking hydrocodone for back pain... ugh... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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Totally sucks, right? My father has Parkinson's and my mother is in denial. Makes for fun in my life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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it's the worst... i guess i could see this coming, but somehow thought it wouldn't be like this. my dad died 20 years ago, and my mom was in great health/mind until she turned 80.. then... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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I guess we can all see it coming... eventually. But no one wants to. I'm nearly 40 - I should have expected it would someday happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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do you have a caregiver in place for your dad? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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It's not to that point yet but even broaching the subject is too touchy and volatile. And when we actually visit, it's worse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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That just sucks in so many ways. No real advice other than make sure you trust the people taking care of th parent. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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Thanks. Although I do have to say it really put the DOE K application process into perspective. (Trying to find a silver lining). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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I was 3000 miles away while my father was dying. It was so hard. My brother was w/parents, but that just made me feel more guilty. I made it home for the last week of his life. My advice is to call EVERY DAY. If it's possible to know how much time you have, do whatever it takes to get there for the last month or so. I'm sorry you're in this position. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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Thanks. It's not that bad, yet. It's at the point where I believe his quality of life is negatively effected by my mother's inability (refusal?) to see the situation for what it is yet when I try to step in I am met with hostility and roadblocks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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ugh. so hard. I'm sorry. have you talked with your father privately about this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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Not yet. We're going to visit in a few weeks and I plan on doing it then. It's not really a conversation I want to have over the phone. Plus - he's hard of hearing and it makes phone calls really difficult at times! Ah, getting old is so glamorous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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I know, I know. Someone PLEASE just put me in a nice retirement home. Nice, as in, cocktails at 4pm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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^^^and sorry to be so off point. good luck in the conversation with your dad. he may be the only one who can get your mother to deal. so unfair to him to have to deal with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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Oh - she has her own health issues too - god forbid I EVER try to discuss those. And I'm all for assisted living with cocktails on the porch! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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I'll see you there! you play gin rummy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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As a matter of fact I do. And I know how to score - thanks to countless rounds with my grandma growing up. We played a nickel a box. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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ahhhh, love playing with grandma! You play spoons, too? we'd need at least 4 for that, so we might as well throw in some hearts, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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^^^trying to cheer you up a little. hope it's helping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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Totally helping. Now, if you tell me you play Casino, I may have to propose to you. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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arrrrgh! no, but I have a few years to learn, right? do you really play spoons? this is gonna be fun, but let's make a pact to keep our fingernails short, k? spoons can get a bit nasty... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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I am sorry to say that being there is not much easier. Watching a parent die is one of the worst things - maybe the worst thing - I have ever been through - it still haunts me. Good luck and take it day by day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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Thanks. I can't even begin to imagine... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks everyone. Off to play with very bored DC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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