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06.18.08, 12:16 PM New York City
39 replies
My ds's nanny picked him up late twice last week and she just called to say she was just getting out of the subway (10 minutes after pick up time) and said the trains were "so messed up". She'll end up being 15 minutes late. She always blames the subway. What should I do/say to her tonight? I already talked to her last week about the importance of picking up ds on time. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 06.18.08, 12:16 PM Flag
 

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well, first find out if there really was a mess on the subways today [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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tell her to leave earlier. trains messed up is not an excuse, honestly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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I've told her that before and she claims she already leave early and if only the trains were on time, she would be early. But somehow the trains are never on time and she's never early. I can't have a rational conversation with her about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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yeah that's no good. she should aim to get there 1/2 hour early then. seriously, in nyc i dont' consider late trains an excuse. it's part of the calculation for being on time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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seriously... I think she gives herself just enought time to get somewhere so that she ends up being late if there's the slightest glitch in her commute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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I would ask her to be there 15 minutes before pick up. This is just unacceptable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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right, but then she would expect to get paid for it. And then she would end up being right on time (not early) and I'd pay her for the extra 15 minutes. Why should I pay her extra just to be on time??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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pay her. that's the issue. pay her for the 15 minutes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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i'd rather find someone new rather than pay her extra for something she should be doing anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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just tell her that you need her to be there on time. don't get involved with what time she has to leave her house. tell her politely and calmly that you spokke to the teacher (or wherever he's being picked up from) and he has to be picked up at x o'clock and if nanny can't be there on time you'll make arrangements with someone who can be on time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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NP--I completely agree. It isn't fair to ds to be picked up late, especially repeatedly. It's her job to be there on time, it's a basic part of her job, and if she can't do it, you need to find someone who can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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yes. and don't specify that she needs to be there 15 minutes early or she needs to leave 15 minutes earlier. your issue is that she has to be there on time and that's it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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where is she leaving from? is she watching another of your dcs as well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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she's coming from Brooklyn. She used to watch my ds FT until this summer and was late for me in the morning as well, but it didn't matter as much as now when ds absolutely needs to be picked up on time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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will she be going back to FT again? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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no, she's done with FT with me. She's looking for another FT position, but it may take her a while since she's doing it thru word of mouth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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i posted above. i'd say simply that he has to be picked up on time and if she can't do it you'll make other arrangements. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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right, I'll do that. I don't care when she leaves home as long as she's on time. Not sure about telling her I would make other arrangements. I'd just as soon let her go without notice (I already gave her 3 wks pay as "severance" when she went from FT to PT). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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OK, that detail makes it even clearer that this nanny is playing you and you are kind of falling for it. The money is one thing, but the lateness is directly affecting ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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not sure what you mean about me falling for it. I'm totally aware of what she's up to -- I just have been weighing pros and cons, and I need someone who's willing to work the hours I need (not so easy) and my ds knows her and she's familiar with his routine. That's why I've been reluctant to change, but her continuing lateness is getting me to start looking early for a replacement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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You need to warn her that if it happens again you will have to find someone new. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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Tell her that you willb ei touc with ds' school and she will be docked form now on.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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yeah, at some point, the camp will start putting him in the extended care class when she's late and I'll get charged for it. I'll dock her if that happens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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People who are doing their job properly do not make excuses. We all live in NYC and know what the subways are like; that's part of the deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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I know, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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I remember you from last week. I'd be very annoyed that this is still happening and tell her she needs to leave an hour earlier or whatever, even if it means hanging out in the hood of the school and having a cup of coffee or something. In fact, I'd suggest it. But the fact that this is becoming a pattern is a serious issue and you have every right to be a little more foreceful when you talk to her. (Not mean, but you know what I mean.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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yeah, it's me again. I thought things were better but then this happens again. She just doesn't get the concept that she needs to give herself more time if she needs to be somewhere by a certain time. If I have an important morning meeting, I make a point of giving myself more than enough time to get there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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Actually, now that I've read the above posters, I think they are right. Either she is on time, or it's over. You've given her warnings. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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np: i am very much like your nanny. i don't bother getting anywhere on time and i'm not going to do it unless there are consequences that are worth it for me. so don't expect her to change unless you are very firm. and even then, i'd start looking for someone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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yes and yes, I will both speak to her firmly and will start looking. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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She gets the concept, unless she's mentally disabled (given that this has happened 3 times in a week). She just doesn't want to leave enough time for it, and would rather be late to pick up ds and blame the subways. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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I'm getting this from her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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You need to dock her from now on if she is late. (Unless there is a major outage reported on the evening news, imho) BTW, I usually side with nannies on these things, but this is unacceptable. I remember you from last week. She needs to know that you mean business. Tell her tonight and follow-through. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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I have given her a lot of chances and I feel like she's taking advantage of it. I will definitely talk to her tonight. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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You are wimpy....don't dock when the school docks you, tell her *tonight* that she will now oe docked a half hour pay if she is late t0 pick up ds. No chances, if *I* get docked, etc. Just tell her the policy in a pleasant, matter-of-fact way. If she worked in Walmart (or any other entry leve jobs) and was consistently late, this would happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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Well, if she is "on the clock" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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^^^ starting at whatever time ds is supposed to be picked up, then it is her responsibility to get there on time, just like any job. If she gets there late, then her pay should start at the time she arrives (this will send her the message). If she doesn't like it because she has to allow too much time for travel, then she can get a job closer to her home. I really don't see what her problem is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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