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06.18.08, 09:26 AM General Topics
68 replies
DH goes to strip club for business - I'd say - twice a month. He's in the Tv / Radio business and his stations appeal to men 25-54 and there are promotions and things there. I have been and found it a lot like being in a Loehman's dressing room with music, but whatever... The wife of another guy at the office just called to ask me to "put my foot down" and I said I didn't have an issue... would you ? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.18.08, 09:26 AM Flag
 

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no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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if you don't have an issue with it, it seems silly to 'put your foot down' on someone else's behalf. It would not be something I would be comfortable with, but I am not married to your husband, so my opinion doesn't matter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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It matters just as much as any of ours... thank you. I think she asked me to "put my foot down" since my DH is the boss of her DH and if mine stopped, hers wouldn't have the excuse... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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i thought so too... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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probably not - seems like she's got some issues [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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if she has an issue more power to her. I find this strip club crap just that..women on display like meat. I also find that many ppl use the excuse that they need to go because of business...with that said if you are ok with it that's btwn you and your dh. You don't know the issues that brings btwn this woman and her dh. It isn't fair if this man is pressured because of his job to participate in something that brings issues to his marriage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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I can honestly say that there is no pressure at all... my DH feels the pressure as the boss to "say hi" to the clients, but he does not dictate to others whether to go or not to go. She was just speechless that I was so blase about it, i guess... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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then since there's no pressure, she needs to put her foot down with her dh. Does she know there is no obligation for her dh to be there? Maybe he's telling her he HAS to be there. Poor woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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OP you know, I never thought of that ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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Poor woman? This wife called her husband's boss' spouse to try and do something like this. She's an ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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there must be something going on in her marriage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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No healthy person calls their spouse's boss's spouse like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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she must just be at her wit's end with something at hime and called out of some desperation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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It would bug me that he goes there so much, so I'd probably find myself questioning whether he can cut back on his visits. Also I would want to make sure my husband isn't "into" the actual action, and is truly just there because he has to be. Personally, my husband and I have had the strip club conversation a lot and I am pretty sure he finds them generally offensive. He's only been to a strip club twice in our 10 years of marriage, both times for bachelor parties. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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^^^ But I think it's unreasonable for this other woman to ask you to "put your foot down." She should only try to control her husband, not yours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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My DH also says that they're odd, weirdly sterile yet gross at the same time. In fact, when i said I wanted to see what they were like I was happy to see him on his Blackberry and not really interested in the "action"... nevertheless, I was wondering what others though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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I think it's just an excuse to go to the strip joint on all counts. My dh is a CEO and he finds much classier places to conduct business. I would be a little concerned for all parties involved in this one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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your DH is the CEO of a business. My DH works pretty exclusively with clients and men in the sports arena between the ags of 25 - 54... A diff sort of thing, i would guess... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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My dh is in the entertainment industry as well. Just an excuse on your dh's part [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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np: ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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I disagree... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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A CEO in the "entertainment industry" is dealing with artists, attorneys, and such, no ? Mine is dealing with athletes, beers, and car dealers... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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sounds like a classy group he runs with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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^^ yes, he chooses to do business with only classy people... that's how business works, no ? No NASCAR money... I just won't take it !! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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ita. i work on wall street and guys entertain there because they want to. it's an excuse to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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I mentioned that if she felt very strongly about it she should callmy DH and voice her issues to him. She said she was thinking of doing it, but I don't think she will... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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i think that's not a good suggestion. it's not your issue or dh's issue and neither of you should get involved in her marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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you're a DH... what say you ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:58 AM Flag
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There are a lot of issues here. (First off, I'm not a strip club guy. I'll go with a bachelor party but other than that, it is not my thing.) No adult should be calling another adult's job on stuff like this. Unless the OP and the wife are really close (doesn't sound like it) this call is totally out of line. I think it is assinine that in this day and age companies still pay expnese reports for this kind of shit but again, I'm not into strip clubs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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The funny thing - OP here - is that my DH isn't into it either, but he pays for it on accts since he says 9and I believe him) that there is a return on it... there are results... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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The progressive in me would push back... many things seem to pay off great results -- like torture. But what if you took a stand and said, "Not this!" Take 'em to the driving range at Chelsea Piers, get one of the private rooms onto the range and an instructor to work on your clients swings for two hours. (Heck, got a hot woman to work on their swing the first few times, to ease the change if you have too.) You'll have a hell of a lot better chance to sell whatever it is you are selling there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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I think you're under the impression that my DH or his staff inite clients to the clubs. They are invited to the clubs and they have clients who have promotions there and ask them to "stop by". They do entertain at meals, sporting events, etc... this is a "minor" portion of what they do... If your client called and said, "We're bringing the head of the region to watch the games at X, I'd love to introduce you," would you say, "can I take him out putting instead ?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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You are correct. I was under the impression that your dh/his company was the inviter. I thought you said somewhere he was paying for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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he pays if the salespeople go and buy drinks for the clients... you know how that works... Client says come by, but the guy itching for the business picks up the tab... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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I understand and can relate BUT I'll still make the argument that if you are not part of the solution... you are part of the problem. Tell the client, "We have a new policy... DO you play golf? I have a personal session with an instuctor at the driving range to work on my swing. Join me and let me tell you about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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If you don't have a problem with it, I wouldn't get involved. I would make sure though that he knows that doing this sort of promotion can cause family troubles for people that he works with. On another note, as a woman in business, this is a really sexist way to conduct business. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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OP As a female, a business owner, and a Barnard grad, I have my own issues with it too, but mine more revolve around these dancers/working women who feel it's their best bet to put food on the table for their kids... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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well if you dh business stopped patronizing such places, wouldn't that be one step taken against exploitation of these women? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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Ah hah ! A simple answer... but no... then these women wouldn't earn the money they need. What should they do ??! Many do not have many opportunites that - I assume - we have had. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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^^ and I do not feel they are necessarily being exploited... I feel they were not given better opportunities earlier in life and this is the real "feminist" issue [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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but it cuts both ways - supply side & demand side. what are the ladies no longer dancing at all the times square places that guiliani shut down doing now? i don't think they're hooking. i'd bet they probably found non-sexually exploitative jobs. i used to be a stripper, btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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Then you know that many of these women do "work" their way through school and many do go on to other jobs in the sex industry. But to think that the women from Times Square are now all PTA members just because the doors were closed is too naive for me to believe that you were ever really a dancer / stripper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:07 AM Flag
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i realize it sounds paternalistic. i think the idea of the sex worker with a heart of gold (i.e. putting food on her kids' table) is actually a myth. in my experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:11 AM Flag
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Hooker with a heart of gold may be a myth, but dancer who feeds the kids with the money she makes at night and is home for them during the day is real... i even saw one of these women on Oprah ! Honest to God ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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please. oprah? she regularly represents the majority. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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just sain' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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I wouldn't so much have a problem that dh went there than that he is involved in such a sexist business. I guess there are no female managers/employees of his company? Seems kind of gross [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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Nope... comptroller is aowman, Local Sales Manager is a woman, and two top sellers are women [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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do they go to the club too? Or stay at work and miss out on the networking opportunities? I would seriously consider this harassment, and I am not anti-strip-club [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:53 AM Flag
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They network in other ways, I suppose, but I know they have gone to these places as well in the past... MY DH networks in other ways 99% of the time, but the woman who called has a Dh who is not in sales. he is "personalty". The comptroller stays in the office though ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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If nobody says they can't go and nobody says they have to go, how is this harrasment? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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it's a work event and a "hostile work environment" for women. If you were a woman trying to move up the ladder in that business you "should" go, but you might feel pretty uncomfortable being there, and your male co-workers might feel pretty uncomfortable being there *with you*, so you are disadvantaged [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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If both are uncomfortable how am I disadvantaged? If I'm not uncomfortable, how am I disadvantaged. I hate football. If my job has season tickets for the Giants for the sales staff -- how is that different? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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you are disadvantaged because the men might avoid speaking to you there out of discomfort, and would probably prefer you hadn't come. A football game is different in both these respects. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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These places are - certainly these days - not that "sexual" or seedy... They are bars that happen to have topless women trying to get your attention... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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men suck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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they're certainly sort of beat... the Y chromosome seems to be problemmatic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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that is a pretty fat paint brush you are using there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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yes... but do you disagree ? I didn't say all men suck like other post, I just said they seem to be problemmatic... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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"men suck" read to me as a broad/group indictment. (I'm the dad who posted above. I think I'm evolved and most of my friends are as well.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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Oh... I do not hink you suck. I think in general women are just more "capable" and more evolved [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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How about we are differently "capable" and "uniquely" evolved. Then we call it a night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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Deal ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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Op - BTW, DH's company was just named one of the top 40 small businesses for employees in our city... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 10:17 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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