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06.17.08, 17:43 PM General Topics
45 replies
Argh. So mad at 5 yo ds. He came out after bedtime and started screaming, running and jumping all over the apartment, so I put him back in his room, and then went to my room and locked the door. He came out and with two swift runs at the door, broke the lock and tore half of the molding off the doorframe. How am I going to explain this one to my super? (we rent) I'm not even sure how to deal with this. I was thinking of making him help the super pick up trash/sweep the sidewalk and also taking away TV for a week. What do you think? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.17.08, 05:43 PM Flag
 

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strange to lock your door, imho [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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Geez it was an accident. I would be more concerned about the reason for his behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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it was not an accident. he deliberately beat the door down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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is that normal? why was he screaming in the 1st place? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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becuase he's overtired and wound up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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So what can you do to calm him down? Does he have a bedtime routine? Why is he overtired? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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OP: He's overtired because he won't go to sleep. Doesn't nap at school, and even if we put him in bed at 7PM, he still stays up unti at least 8:30PM. Wakes up at 7AM almost evey morning. Maybe we need to try to wear him down more after school with trips to the park or long walks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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wow. actually, sounds like something my dd would do. the punishment sounds ok to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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thanks. Glad I'm not alone iin dealing with this behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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sounds like you have bigger problems than explaining this to your super [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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OP: very true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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was it a night terror ? my DS is & and still has them occassionally... he walks around the house - sometimes runs a bit - and calls for me, cries for me, all that, but he is NOT "there"... it is in his sleep... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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^^ meant to say DS is 7 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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No, not a night terror. Just his usual MO when DH is out for the night. We end up in a battle almost every time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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Ah... testing you... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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op: yup. I have a really hard time ignoring it when he's bouncing off the walls or jumping on me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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op; did that and he ran right back out after me. It's maddening. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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One week you need to just keep putting him back and back and back and back and back. No words, no fights, no hiding, no nothin. Just back in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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and you ran and hid. DC won [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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I think I agree... If mom is hiding that means DS is the boss. IMHO you need to "gird your loins" and prepare to wrest control from that youngin... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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op: how? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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that is the million dollar question, isn't it. Immediate consequences for actions that have real meaning to him. what does he love the most ? take it away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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He has so many toys that it never seems to matter when I take them away. The thing that bugs him most is when I take myself away, which is one of the reasons I locked myself away in the first place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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withdrawing mom- its clearly not working. You have to work it out, not run from the problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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You going away I think is the wrong message... you will always be there, but there must be something he really values... every kid has something that they would be very upset to lose... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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np: OP, it sounds like you are trying your best o keep your cool within the framework you have inherited. Perhpas it is time to re-fram bedtime...do it totalllly different...with anew approach. Warn dc about the new rules, etc. I can't rec, since I don't know what you did before, but I do agree with some punitive action related to tonights destruction. What would dh do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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doesn't nanny 911 have a book? that might be worth it for her to check out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks for the kind words. It is obvoius that what I do doesn't work. We generally do pjs, tooth brushing, then story and bed. Maybe I could add a few minutes for him to look at books by himself after we read to him so that he can ease into sleep. When dh is here, ds only comes out once or twice to use the bathroom. He knows dh will get really mad, so he doesn't chance it. When I get really mad, he just thinks it's funny. (I have Supernanny book, btw, plus about 50 others. Have taken classes, too( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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the lock and the molding must have been in a poor shape if a 5yo tore it down. the kid is a kid and is normal imo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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op: probably weakened by the other times he's tried to break the door down... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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np: why did you lock the door? So bizarre, why not just try to control or calm down your DC? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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op: I lock it when I'm at my wit's end and need a time out. Of course I try to calm him, but unfortunatley, he's not an easy kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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It seems wrong to blame the kid- you created the situation that generated this behavior. What is dh's take on it all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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How did I create the situation? By trying to put him to bed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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It seems like a power-struggle dynamic. It's easier to blame him than to look at the big picture of the household [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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I totally get why you locked your door. Better that than doing what you probably feel like doing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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exactly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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This is insane. I think that it is time for therapy honestly. I have never heard of a kid this out of control with a parent... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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is this normal behavior for your ds? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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OP: when he's overtired, yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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OP: sorry to disappear. I went to lie down with him for a bit and try to soothe him to sleep. Seems to have finally worked. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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duh. he wanted you, and when you locked yourself in your room, he felt abandoned and scared (and, being overtired, out came "the bahvior"). You are on the right track here. BE with him. Just sit in his room as he winds down (or goes like the energizer bunny then crashes, whatever his MO is). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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I meant to write behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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op: I do usually lie down with him for a few minutes at bedtime, but when he's wound up like he was tonight, he climbs and jumps all over me and my presence seems to get him more agitated. I can't take that for very long. I told him repeatedly tonight that if he could stay calmly in his room for 10 minutes that I would come back and lie with him. Anyway, I get your point, but it's just really tough sometimes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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