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06.17.08, 17:11 PM General Topics
57 replies
Poll: Did you take your dh's name or not, and why? (I'm a dh, dw kept her name... because it's her and she wanted it, basically.) [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.17.08, 05:11 PM Flag
 

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kept except for emergencies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:12 PM Flag
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how does that work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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not legally, but Imoved to the South and my boss said (as she got my business cards made) "I don't know how you do things in San Francisco, but here we like a little tradition. Let's just call you_____ as IF you liked to be traditional too !" and now everyone calls me by my DH's last name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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When I went into labor and people called the hospital to check and when they came to the hospital and asked for my room, they were all told I wasn't there since they asked for someone who "legally" didn't exist... My insurance is in my "legal" maiden name...It actually gave me lots of privacy ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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LOL LOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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well I looked at it this way. "My name" was really my father's name - another man. Why insist on keeping it then? i was more interested in family identity for my dcs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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as in - your dhs identity - not yours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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my identity has nothing todo with a name. You're looking at this in a very spuerficial way. My name was given to me by my father. We live in a patriarchy. Insisting on "my name" is humorous. The problem is much more pervasive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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lots of torturous attempts at logic here - still doesn't work though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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tortuous. Most women's surname was given to them by another man - their father. Does this tax your mind? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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np -lol. That's hard to refute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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you're too boring to fight with [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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Meaning you have no argument. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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meaning no one here agrees with you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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No agreement is necessary. It's not a matter of agreement. It's a fact that most women have their fathers' surname. Life must be tough for you with so little equipment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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Why are you clinging to this lame argument/ Who cares what your fathers name is? What about you as a woman who - perhaps not in your case - worked hard for an education; achieved success at work; made friends - and then drops that whole identity to be a wife. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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what year did you graduate from Wharton? I don't remember such an asshole in my class. You're too dense to take this any further - good bye [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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I am an attorney - MBAs aren't worth much these days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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ooooooh you slayed the dragon! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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lol isn't she a jerk? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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she's such an ass [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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I don't personally feel that way, but I can certainly understand why some people do. Fair point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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well there's a consensus. You're an idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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I agree with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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np. and you're not too bright eh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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What is so difficult to understand? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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you're not a dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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Sad to imagine the accomplishments you achieved with your former name are all publicly erased in order to prove to the world someone married you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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it's sad to imagine that you need public acknowledgement of your accomplishments for validation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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Kept my name. I had a professional reputation that I didn't want to have to recreate with a new name and even after I stopped working, I didn't change it - it's part of my identity. DD has my last name as her middle name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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Changed it legally but use my maiden name professionally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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I changed because I hated my other name. Current one isn't much better but at least people can pronounce it. I also like having the same last name as the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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honestly this is the only good reason for changing your name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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knew a family growing up named the Schmucklers... four daughters... I always wondered how quickly those girls got married... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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okay, now you're a hypocrite. what about all that "identity" crap? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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i am not even sure what my name is anymore. i changed it on the marriage licence 8 yrs ago, but never bothered to change it afterwards. so now i have all the ids in my maiden name, pay taxes in my maiden name, greencard in my maiden name... i probably should change it legally, but this is such a headache, and why to bother [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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I changed it. I'm sometimes very traditional-minded. I felt as though it was a "new chapter" in life (getting married) and this was one way to mark it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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My experience is that professional women with advanced degrees kept; SAHM changed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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I changed my name even though I was a partner at a law firm (but I've since "retired" to be a SAHM). I had no problem telling people I'd changed my name, though I continued to keep my maiden name on my business cards and voicemail as my middle name, just in case people forgot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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yup, SAHM = name change [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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well, ok, but I was a partner for years with my new name first. Had no plans to become a SAHM, just worked out that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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we both changed our names. dh changed the order of his name (switched middle -- which was his mother's maiden name -- and his last); I added his (new) last name as my last name, making my old last name an additional middle name. We wanted our family to have all one name. Our dcs have the same last name as we do of course, and one of their middle names is my maiden name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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How ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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np: how ignorant and judgmental of you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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I like your story... reminds me of old boss & his wife who lived together for a number of years before marrying. Their mailbox had his name and hers with a hyphen and when they married they both took the hyphenated name. What made it cooler is that he in every seemed like a "traditional" caveman-type guy... but he wasn't at all... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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thanks -- I like your boss's story too -- kind of cool, really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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ahh, the old UB is back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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I can't imagine his family was thrilled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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actually -- he talked to them first. They were fine with it (he has a twin brother, but he didn't care, also a son, but he didn't care either). His father is dead, and his mother liked the idea so much, she changed her name too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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I kept my name because it was easier to pronounce, and because my dh didn't care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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kept my name. I simply cannot understand changing one's name in this day and age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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i kept mine until i had kids. but i use my maiden name for writing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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Yes, when I got pregnant. I wanted to have the same name as my kids. If I hadn't had kids, I wouldn't have bothered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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