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06.17.08, 08:09 AM General Topics
15 replies
I'm due Dec 22 and starting to get asked if I am returning to work after my maternity leave. I work for a non-profit doing fundraising and special events. My boss has mentioned the idea of me doing PT special events. I always thought this decision would be easy, but I'm struggling. Need advice/help/anything! I also do not want to regret spending the first few years with my little one. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.17.08, 08:09 AM Flag
 

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I think many many women consider PT work to be the ideal situation. Not always readily available either, so if you have that option definitely give it some serious consideration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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I can't imagine regretting time spent with my child. I'd talk to your boss about the part-timeoption to see if it's valid. will your salary (and your partners) cover full time childcare? what do you want to do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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unfortunately, most of my salary would go towards daycare - so it's not about the money. we can live on my husbands salary. I'm afraid I'd miss the adult interaction. Although, my mother 'warns' me that once I hold my baby, I'll never want to leave! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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I'm expecting my first (3 weeks after you) and I'm worried about this too. I'm leaning towards staying home with the kids, I'm not sure what I would do if part time was offered though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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I know, right?! I mean I would LOVE to stay home and play all day. I just fear the non-adult world. On the other hand, sometimes work is sooo petty and stressful - that it's not worth it. What do you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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No matter what your "real" answer, your answer to your employer is, "Yes! Absolutely." they can't hold you to it and they won't take any of your benefits away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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I think that it is wrong to string your employer along if you know that you're not going back to work. This makes it a lot harder for women who do go back and makes employers much more hesitant to offer extended benefits from what is required by law. Would you want to offer paid maternity leave if you found that 50% of the women that said they were coming back didn't? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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I appreciate your feedback. But in all honesty I really like the people I work with and would not want to leave them in the lurk. If I say I'm returning, I will. It's just hard to guage what I'll feel. Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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np: it's lurch, btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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part time is great. it is also worth it to try returning to work, whether full or part-time, because you can always leave after a few months. much harder to choose not to go back and realize a few months in that you wish you had! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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I really don't think it's fair that your office is pressing you for an answer this soon. Tell them you need a little more time to figure it out. I mean, you only just discovered your pregnant a few weeks/months ago. Really hard to know what you're going to feel like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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in terms of what response to give your boss, i'd say very firmly but politely that you don't want to make any decisions until you see how things are going. (you might want to add that you would like to know what options will be available to you.) and as for yourself, i can say that for most people it's very common to have children and then feel some sort of regret/nostalgia for whatever road you are not taking. but you'll be much better off putting off any decisions until after you have settled in with the baby. otherwise you'll be putting so much pressure on yourself. every time you'll have a hard time putting the baby to sleep or having woken up four times overnight to feed your baby, you'll be saying "i'm going back to work". and then you'll give your baby a bath and he/she will smell so good and you'll say "forget it, i can't go back to work". you'll tie yourself up in knots instead of just focusing on the challenges and wonders involved with caring for a new baby. so what i'd suggest is that you take a look at your finances to know what you'll need or what options you'll have in terms of working or sah'ing. then i'd maybe make a list of pros and cons for working vs. sahm'ing, as you see it right now. then shelve that list and readdress the issue when your db is 4 weeks old. best of luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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^^^darn. i put so much effort into that post. here's the summary: when you have a good moment with your baby you'll say 'i'm not going back to work'. you'll tie yourself in knots instead of just focusing on the baby and dealing with the normal ups and downs of having a newborn. i'd suggest making a list to yourself of the pros and cons of working vs sahm'ing, as you see them now. also look at your finances. then shelve the list and readdress it with your dh when your baby is 4 weeks old. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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If you feel like there is a chance you'd want to come back - and it sounds like there is - you should say you're coming back. If you figure out during pregnancy, maternity leave or back at work that you'd rather be at home, then that's that. You have a right to change your mind. It's your life. In the grand scheme of things, it won't be too much of an inconvenience for your employer; replacing workers who leave is something they all ave to deal with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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