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06.15.08, 19:05 PM General Topics
13 replies
anyone feel totally stuck after DC was born? My DH's life is busier than ever, and I keep having to give stuff up because it's spontaneous and he's scheduled to the gills and I didn't give him a week to juggle so he could take DD... depressed and feeling like my old life is TOTALLY gone, while DH's is flourishing. Not fair, but sob sob, that's the way it is. poor me. get over it. who cares. How do I get past resenting him? It's like he can do no right, but I feel like every extra commitment (and he has THOUSANDS) is ruining my life... [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.15.08, 07:05 PM Flag
 

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How long has it been? Are you going back to work (or have you already)? What do you miss most from your old life? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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dd is 4 months, and dh has a full time job and is organizing a HUGE event and coordinating 50 volunteers in his spare time, for fun... I'm so done with it and he's obsessed... I miss being able to help people with stuff. A friend was moving and I wanted to go help her tonight, but couldn't because I didn't give DH enough notice (like over a week) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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np: He sounds like a jerk. I wouldn't put up with that. His kid is his responsibility too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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it's not a jerk so much as a stress junkie... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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if they are work commitments, that's fine, but we discussed what each of us can take on after that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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see above... his work is only a fraction of his major time commitments [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Yes, I felt exactly the same way but had twins. Went back to work when they turned 4 and couldn't be happier. My DH was the type to really take advantage of me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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how so? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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Say he was doing work related dinners and then hit a bar after. Golf all weekend. Complain when I asked for help. Never offer to just "take over." He wasn't engaged and the relationship was totally out of balance. Now, he is forced to help in so many ways because I work four days a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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talk to him, calmly, about how you feel, how much time away from home his extra commitments really take. work out a schedule where you get time away from home on a regular basis, either by hiring a babysitter or having DH give up some of his extra-curriculars. something has to give and it can't all come from you. also, find a "date-night" babysitter - the thing that helped DH and I most of all was getting time together away from DB, even if it was just to get some pizza and ice cream and go for a walk together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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we worked out a thing where he would be home on wednesdays and fridays at 7:30 -- didn't ONCE do it, I fianlly gave up after 4-5 huge fights... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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it's time for couples counselling. you need a neutral party to explain to him that when he makes a commitment to you, he needs to keep it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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np- agree, and if he wont go- go on your own and get a sitter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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