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06.15.08, 15:40 PM NY Schools
41 replies
Brearley - visited this spring, and as much as I try not to love the school, and I expected nothing, those girls seemed joyous and unstoppable. I know that it is known for pressure, but the girls seemed so happy. Anyone else get that sense? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
NY Schools 06.15.08, 03:40 PM Flag
 

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BFF attended B. One of the most troubled, joyless people I know. perhaps it has changed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 03:41 PM Flag
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OP - scary to hear. But don;t you think that as a parent, who cares, if I can see my daughter is miserable, I'll pull her out. The younger years seemed so happy. In particular the respect b.w the teachers and girls was palpable. But that said,it is comments like yours that FREAK me out about puruing it so strongly. Thanks! Anyone else? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 03:43 PM Flag
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well, perhaps it is not related to having been at Brearley, but my idea of the upper school sort of fits how I see her. She is very smart, dark, bleak and troubled. Also, very wealthy, but with a need to accomplish nonetheless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 03:54 PM Flag
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np; they value competition but do not seem to value cooperation so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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nnp. ITD. We had dds there and in my experience they value both. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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^ Have, not had. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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you will find people like that from every school. plus, let's keep in mind that our own experiences are from years ago, not like or's bff is 16 and about to graduate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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Is dd starting in the fall or are you just looking at for next year? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:55 PM Flag
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Lower school girls looked happy. HS girls were rather rude to people on tour that I did not find at other schools- snickering and making snide comments. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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Brearley doesn't have spring tours. I think it is a great school. We personally ranked it third among the "TT" girls', but it is a fabulous school and we really liked and am sure that dd would have been happy there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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Me, too. We ranked it behind Chapin and Spence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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In that order? That was ours too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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Yes. I really, really liked Dr Hayot, got to meet with head of lower school also and liked her, too. Liked the new head of Spence. Met acting head of lower school at B and did not like her at all and never met Dr Hull - but I've heard some transitional difficulties at B since Dr Hull and the people at B who were there before Dr Hull had tension. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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I met Dr. Hull and really really liked her. That said, I still liked Chapin and Spence better as overall schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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She cancelled on meeting my group which is fine as things happen. But the acting head of lower school was kinda bitchy. I heard head of lower school left bec of conflict with Dr Hull. Not sure why. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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Good luck getting in then! Why bother? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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np. I don't understand this. She shouldn't bother applying if it's not her 1st choice? Why on earth not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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brearley has spring tours for older applicants who have applied previously and legacy families. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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Brearley '87 here. Any questions? I have two boys but I loved that place from top to bottom and my best friends are the Brearley ones. The pressure didn't bother me but it did get to some. Depends more on personality type than intellectual abilities. I was as happy as can be for the duration. With a gun to my head I wouldn't send a daughter to Spence or Chapin. But it's a matter of personal preference, I suppose. Seems strange to me to love all three. They're so different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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"With a gun to my head" Bit extreme, no? I actually really liked all three, B was not my favorite, but they all have a lot to offer and many of the difference s seem surface. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:11 PM Flag
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OK but you get my point. I honestly believe I'd take our local public gen ed (a good one) over the other two. Culturally, they'd just be a terrible fit. I'd say that the difference run deep and it's actually superficially that they seem interchangable. The cultures/values are the thing. They all offer top-notch academics but I just couldn't have a little Spence girl running around my apartment. Or a Chapin one. So no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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np: I don't even know how to respond to that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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Really? I know someone who chose B for one dd and S for another. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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What kind of ERB score do they look for? DC got 97. Is this OK score to apply? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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It is fine for all three. My dd got into one of the three with a 96 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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I'm the B mom from below and ITA. That's a great score - GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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np. We're a current B family and have met a lot of Chapin families over the years. I can't comment on Spence, because I only know 1 girl who attends, but the Chapin and Brearley girls and their moms seem more alike than different to me. Maybe the schools' cultures have changed since you were there, or maybe the differences seem more significant when one is a child/young adult. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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Possibly a little of both, although I know (and like) two Chapin Moms now who very much resemble my 1980s stereotype. In 1984 in the school mock elections Reagan killed at Chapin and practically didn't get a vote at Brearley. That was quite telling at the time. To me Brearlet moms (I don't know about the girls) now are less into appearences, probably less socially aware, active and interested, more intellectual, badly dressed, more Jewish and liberal etc. Wrong? Couldn't swear to it and I suppose I don't care. I am a little curious though and would put a little money on me being right. Just a little though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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I am a Chapin mom and am as far left as they come. All the UES schools have their spattering of Republicans though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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I'm sure they do. Maybe the Brearley ones just keep it on the DL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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I am a Republican Brearley alum and the school was not tolerant of moderate, let alone conservative viewpoints under Mrs. Halpert's thoughtless regime. That changed under Winn-Barlow, who was wonderful. I was not on the DL and took a lot of flack from knee-jerk liberals. There were many thoughtful liberals there, as well, but certain socialist faculty members really did the student body a disservice. The ones I am thinking of have all retired, so the school may be a more thoughtful place now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 11:24 PM Flag
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Brearley has just managed to come out of the Dark Ages it experienced under Mrs. Halpert and a few of the thoughtless socialist faculty who tried to indoctrinate students rather than give them all the facts and teach them to be critical thinkers. The school is in a better place these days then it was in the '80s. Now, more than one viewpoint on complex issues of the day is accepted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 11:29 PM Flag
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You’ve obviously given this a lot more of your attention than I have, but for the most part I would say you’re wrong. Maybe in the ‘80s families could self-select into these schools based on their social values and “type,” but I think there’s too much competition for that now. A conservative-leaning family may have a preference for Chapin, but if their dd gets into B and not C, guess where dd ends up? Ditto for a family that might have preferred B to C. Most people don’t feel as strongly as you do, and they apply to both schools and consider themselves lucky if they get either. And many other people realize there’s a range of types at all the schools, and so some conservative families prefer B and some liberal families prefer C. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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^ and some liberal families prefer C. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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We are one of them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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I hear you. Which is why I know we're going to have a hard time looking this fall. I was at a place that was just perfect for me and I realize it's not always that easy. I still can't imagine an easy-going, strongly leftward leaning family with a choice choosing C. But you're right. Few have a choice these days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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We did [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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It's not always about lack of choice. Some people are lucky enough to have the choice and still prefer the school you might not expect. I pick my younger dd up from Clubhouse at Chapin 3 days a week, and I've seen lots of Obama for President pins. I talk to the other moms at the playground and have a good sense of where they stand politically. There are a lot of liberals and laid-back types at C these days, and I'm sure many of them preferred C. It's been 20 years since you were there. A lot changes in 20 years! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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Brearley alum who taught at Spence here. Some of the differences that used to exist are still there, but they aren't nearly as stark. There are a number of girls at Spence these days who would have fit in with my Brearley class perfectly well. Spence has become more like Brearley; Brearley has shifted, too, but not as much. I cannot speak to Chapin's culture, as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 11:32 PM Flag
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You sound absolutely insufferable. DD is at Spence and we would have been almost equally happy with Brearley or Chapin. The schools are more alike than they are different. You couldn't handle "a Spence girl running around your apartment"? Really? How many do you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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OP - I agree. I do think that they all have lots in common. And I also agree that for most families, whichever one your daughter/s go/es to she and you will integrate and learn to love the community at each. And most of the girls who can handle any of these girls schools are adapatable and could fit in at any. They are ALL Great. And thanks everyone for your thoughts on Brearley!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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