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06.14.08, 17:08 PM General Topics
16 replies
DD has been waking up and then screaming in the middle of the night. It's not terrors. When I go in, it's always something little. The blanket fell off. etc etc. We have had a lot of change going on, but I am completley sleep deprived. It's been going on for months. Dh goes to her, talks often ends up sleeping in bed with her. I think it's rewarding her for screaming. If she just came to us (the light is on. she's not really scared) and climbed into bed that would be fine. But this heart rending screaming (that she also does when awake) is making me want to run away from home. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.14.08, 05:08 PM Flag
 

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Can you get a special sleeping bag and put it on the floor of your bedroom? Tell her you won't come and get her if she screams, but she can come and sleep in the bag whenever she wants. Is there something she is really dying to have? Tell her if she goes a week without screaming at night, you will get it for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:10 PM Flag
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she has for a time slept in our room on a blow up mattress. (we had visitors) that's when the screaming started. she's only 4, so I'm not sure the whole wait a week without screaming woudl work. even so, i sort of feel that she's looking for attention (she does get plenty but clearly wants more and all that we could ever possible have to give). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:12 PM Flag
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Can you get a calendar and stickers and she gets a sticker every night she doesn't scream, 7 stickers = thing she wants? I suppose it would only work if there's something she really, really wants. Also, what would happen if you didn't respond to her screams? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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i stopped responding as much as possible. thing is, when i'm in a sound sleep and it starts, i'm up and in her room bf i'm really awake. dh, also, goes to her even when we agree that we won't. these screams are so horrible. it sounds like life is ending. one day, something really will be wrong and i won't respond. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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I'm really sorry. I know how bad sleep deprivation is. Can you and dh at least agree to take turns (and one of you sleep in guest room or living room with ear plugs) for a few weeks? Then you'll at least get some sleep every other day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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no guest room. it was particularly bad last night. we're styaing with my parents and dd walked in front of their room and threatened to start screaming too. i'm so pissed off at her. she knows how to push buttons and dh keeps saying i'm crazy for thinking so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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Ugh. The good news is that this too shall pass. Hang in there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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The next time she screams for no good reason ... for God's sake, SCOLD her, turn off the lights, and go back to bed. If she does it again, punish her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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OP HERE... to the person who said scold, turn off lights punish... That is exactly what i do. But dh gives me such hassle for doing this. i've been trying to do this for months. dh sort of uses it as a way to get back at me when he's angry. says that i'm causing her tantrums by scolding her (altho he says I'm screaming at her). i tell her that when she wakes me up at night, i'm too tired the next day to do things with her. which is true. so we cancel our plans for ht enext day when she does it. (the punishment) dh says i'm just threatening her and it's wrong. such a no win situation for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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You and DH seriously need to get on the same page here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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we talk. we supposedly agree on a plan. i follow thru and then he goes back to saying and doing what he always does. i am so frustrated i don't know what to do anymore. it also allies the two of them against me. then dh says things like i use being tired as an excuse to not spend time with dd. and he says it in front of her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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You guys need a mediator here. He's being a bit of a bitch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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we started therapy. he refuses to go back. he has, tho,s tarted with a therapist for himself. he's also taking a week for himself next week. i suggested it bc i couldn't stand being around him anymore. dd and i get along a lot better when he's not around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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Sounds like you've just taken the exit to downtown Splitsville. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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i guess we'll see how we feel after being apart next week. (unfort, i'll be staying wiht my parents the whole time, which might be painfully stressful too) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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