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06.13.08, 18:46 PM General Topics
17 replies
i hate the way dh parents the kids. i don't think he's a very good father. loves the kids but has not idea how to be a good one. ruining our marriage and sucking all the life out of the intimacy [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.13.08, 06:46 PM Flag
 

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Can you give an example? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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he still reads baby books to my 6yo boy. would never occur to him to read magic tree house or anything more mature. He'll never take DS outside to play wth a ball and bat. I always have to ask him. He'll never just play cards or shoot the breeze, be a dad. He seems bothered by the kids. I could go on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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Well, put the baby books away or somewhere else and maybe he'll read other books to his kid. Also, why do you have to control how he fathers his kid? Not every dad is the "let's go to the park" type of dad. Doesn't make them bad fathers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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right - he is not the mom. Are you home with them all day. He gets like 60 minutes of thema day and he needsyout o keep him updated and abreast of their lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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i hear you. we have two kids, dh NEVER has taken both out to park, will take one only when I push him to do it. Leaves all the physically taxing parenting to me, he thinks all he has to do is sit on couch smile and hug kids meanwhile having them watch TV. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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NP: but this doesn't make him a bad father. It just doesn't mesh with your idealized version of a good father [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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nnp; well actually that does sound like pretty poor parenting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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i don't have an idealized version of a father. a father is a parent, do parent things like bring child up, not using solely using tv mind you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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if your definintion of a bad father is a physically or emotionally abusive father, then you would be correct; but this one is certainly a lazy father and not a good one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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ok, so here are the paternal gradations from superior to subpar - good father, dude on the couch, bad father. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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What is your version of a good father and how does DH not live up to it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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love is not enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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It's 99%. I think you are a bit of a control freak. Let go a bit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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Listen, my DH is moody and inconsistent. He gets angry at a first offense (instead of explaining), sulks, and has zero developmental knowledge (gets outraged that 5-y-o wants to come home from a sleepover). I can relate, though yours does not sound so bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Of course he's a terrible father. Who could not enjoy rough-housing and playing sports with his kids? More importantly, that must be terrible for your son. Sounds like he's a guy who got shoved in a locker too many times in grade school -- from a father of two boys [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.14.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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Ugh--mine is driving me crazy in the other direction. Leaves kids alone in tub while he goes downstairs for a few minutes but wants to keep buying baby shampoo for them (not babies) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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I have learned that not many guys know how to "be a father". They are too work oriented. It's a different way of thinking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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