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06.12.08, 11:33 AM General Topics
27 replies
Just got back from the playground where my dd (2.5yrs) was being bullied by a little girl (maybe 3.5?). The mother of the bully was on her phone and said nothing when the bully threw sand, took toys and hit my dd with a bucket. Should I have said something to her (interupt her call) or handle it myself? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.12.08, 11:33 AM Flag
 

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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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you should have handled it yourself, which I think would have spurred any self-respecting mother into action. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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OP: I firmly told the bully "no" (several times) and also instructed my dd to say "no, I'm using that" (in her 2yr old way). When the bully grabbed things, I took them back and said "dd is still using them." The mother, eyes cast in our direction, kept talking on the phone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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so it sounds like you did right then. I assume the "bully" stopped at some point or did you and your child just walk away? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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I think bullied is a pretty strong word givenyoru description. Try to have a little perspective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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eh its shorthand (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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nah, its a first time mom thinking her angel will never get bigger and be a pain in the ass to some other kid. BTDT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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eh, btdt too (3 kids, on both sides of bully-dom)-- still thinj its shorthand [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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yup [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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Not a first time mom, my ds is 6yrs! And NOT an angel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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ITA but as the mom of a 3.5 yo I keep a tight reign when he's near anyone younger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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OP: Not when she looked at me, pushed my ds and then laughed. Seemed intentional to me--as if she was seeking adult attention. BTW, she did this after about 15 minutes of me saying "no." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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right, but she is just a toddler [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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next time just slap her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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I could not agree more. As a society we have to be careful we don't water down this phenon. It's not shorthand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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Bully is a strong word... not one that should be used incorrectly as i believe in this case... there is a huge difference between 2.5 and 3.5... better to redirect your dd to play with younger kids... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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np: I agree that bully is a loaded word but I have met plenty at that age already. Some kids are just agressive from the get-go and with out the parents being all over it, it just snowballs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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i agree... but it is important to not water down that word or demean what a child who is bullied goes through... i would have said something to the mother if i felt it was beyond the pushing and normal roughhousing of kids that age [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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or: I'm with you but sometimes it's hard to approach another parent about their poorly behaved kid. It's awkward and personally, I feel, ppl should be in charge of their kids. You can't avoid or micro manage every incident but you should mitigate what you can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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Exactly, I just wish that people would watch their kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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I think people "watch" their children too closely these days. They used to go outside in a pack and sure, sometimes they hit, sometimes they got hit - they all learned to deal with it. Which is a good thing. I can't imagine there is a child in the world who makes it out of childhood without an older child taking their toy or throwing sand. It really is not that big of a deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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Did your child mind as much as you did, or did she let it roll off her back? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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OP: ds cried--especially with the sand throwing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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As hard as it is, always try to focus on your child, not the other. Your child will be exposed to all sorts of things. Everything is a teaching moment. If you child doesn't care, then let it go. If your child cries, then comfort and see if you can help your child figure out what to do next. If you need to distract and go over to a different place, then do that. But ALL children misbehave, ALL parents miss it at some point. WE are ALL in this together. And, best of all, everything is an opportunity to teach your child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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I thought you had a dd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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I would handle it myself and take care of my dd's feelings... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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