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06.12.08, 10:37 AM General Topics
41 replies
Ethical Question: Our preschool class mother collects $10 per child per teacher (2 teachers in our class) for the end of the year gift. As a non-class mother, I was caught be two nannies and asked to give the money to the class mother. Not problem there, but one of the nannies gave me only 10 dollars (instead of 20). The nanny is new, and the child's mother has extended child care (she is a non-working "stay at home mom") who I have never seen. Do you think the mother mis-read the e-mail (which clearly stated: $20 per child ($10 per teacher)? OR Do you think the nanny took the extra $10 dollars? IS it any of my business? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.12.08, 10:37 AM Flag
 

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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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I wouldn't say anything. Just make a list of who gave you money how much when you give the money to the organizer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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OP: Totally what I did. Just curious what others think... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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can you bypass the nanny and call the mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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OP: As I said, I've never met the mom. The child has a M-F (7am-9pm) nanny AND a weekend nanny. I've met the weekend nanny in the park several times and she explains that the parents are NEVER home! Poor kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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I've changed my mind. I think the 5th answer down is the best one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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I think it's acceptable to email the mom and say "I'm sorry that I was confusing, but it was $10 per teacher." Make it sound like it was your fault, if it turns out the nanny kept the 10, then it's not your problem. Personally, I doubt that the nanny would chance it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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np best answer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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OP: It wasn't MY e-mail. The e-mail came from the class mom. I happened to be the only parent dropping my kid off at school, so I got nabbed. I'm a little angry because the parents could easily have used the Paypal account the class mother set up! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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so get the class mom to do it. I just would give the parent a chance to make good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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I would do this. She may have made a mistake. I actually made the same mistake last year. The class mom sent me an email and I gave her the right amount. I reread the original email and it was clear I just didn't focus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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let it go. don't embarrass yourself or the mother. So what if each teacher gets $5 less. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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myob [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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OP: I'm a little miffed at the whole thing because (1) The class parent supplied a paypal account for those parents who wanted to use it, (2)I was given the money the DAY AFTER the deadline set in the e-mail and (3) I ended up depositing the money (the nannies money) in the paypal account and keeping the cash because the class parent wasn't at school that day. I'm angry because I spent 30 minutes figuring their mess out! The 10 dollar thing was just the tip of the iceberg! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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paypal. just wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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OMG. loosen up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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you must relax. this was one of those things that was set up to make life easier for everyone, but just didn't work for you. it's only a little bit of money, all of this can be straightened out w/ a simple phone call or email to class mom. no biggee. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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a whole 30 minutes, eh? Any other problems? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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seriously- and now what another 45 minutes re-hashing on ub? i wish i had your kind of "problems". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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OP: Nope. I'm done. I used the paypal, deposited the money and sent an e-mail stating who the money was from and how much. It is up to the class mother if she wants to pursue the extra money from the one parent. I'm totally relaxed about this-- But it is representative of how some of the mothers in our class just haven't been there and expect others to pick up the slack. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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god help me when my dc are in school, hope they're not in your kids' classes. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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That's how every class is though- you've just got to let it go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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OP: I guess I'm annoyed because as a working mother, I've tried to use vacation days, flex hours so that I could be a part of my kid's class. A lot of other mothers do too, don't get me wrong. But there have been a lot of absent parents too. I just feel bad for their kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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I feel bad for them too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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please -- don't. clearly, what OP is miffed about is that this non-working mom has nannies and is never at school. get over it, OP, and MYOB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:19 AM Flag
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OP: I guess my feelings are steaming from a dance concert held last week where only three parents (of 18 total) showed up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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That is just unacceptable. I'm sorry, I made the choice to stay home & not earn much needed money because I wanted to stay involved in my kids lives. I totally see how you would be annoyed at this spoiled diva mom & any other parent that doesn't make an effort to show up for something that should be a special, proud moment for their child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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I feel sorry for yours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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OP: Why because I actually show up to stuff? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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That she loves her kids enough to make sure she's there for them? classy.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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next time just say no to the nanny, you cant give the class mother the $. or dont be so conscientious about paypalling or wahtever -- if shes late and the class mother isnt there, leave it at the school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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OP: This is good. Wish you'd been there when I took the money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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Does anyone else find it slightly annoying that this family has two nannies and only gives a gift of $10 to the teacher? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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Don't judge; maybe the parents have really intense jobs and/or other family to take care of; maybe they can only afford $10 because their childcare costs are so high (signed never had a nanny). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 03:22 PM Flag
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or maybe she gave the amount she did because that's what the class mom was asking for (albeit, she seems to have made a mistake in the total amount). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:21 AM Flag
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She said the mom doesn't work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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this is mandated by public school policy, fyi. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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Totally, but it seems to be part & parcel of how much attention she pays her kids. If she can't be bothered to be with them when she is not working why should she be bothered to pay attention to an email about them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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