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06.11.08, 14:18 PM General Topics
16 replies
I have two younger SILs. One has a toddler. They spend all their time at their parents house. They used to come (as a group) to my house to see my kids and have since stopped. I have 2 toddlers and am 6 mos preg, and live 45 minutes from my inlaws. AND YET: the SILs are constantly talking behind my back about how I never go see them or my niece, and never make an effort, after they came to my house all the time. WTF?!??! I have 2 kids! I dont have a sister who is basically my nanny and can come everywhere w me. How do I deal with this?? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.11.08, 02:18 PM Flag
 

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How do you know they are talking behind your back? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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op: they complained to their mother, who told my mom. my mom only confided this to me today. they used words like "unfair" and my refusal to "reciprocate." they are bitchy to me every time i see them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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Woah. Your family is way too intertwined for my taste. Am I the only one that put the kibbosh on my mother calling my MIL? It could only lead to drama I can do without. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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np: my mom would fall over dead if anyoen tried this on her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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Tried to diss you, or if you tried to keep her and MIL separated? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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tried to dis me, or tried to get her involved in my IL's issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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Okay. I just can't imagine the passive-aggressive nerve of OP's MIL to handle it all sneaky like that. They sound so toxic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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ITTTTA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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ITA and if they feel they can call your mom up, then your mom should have said "don't be silly. X has two kids and works p/t, and is pg right now. I'm sure when she has her life back she'll come visit." Your mom needed to get your back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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Op: my mom totally defended me, politely. MIL did not call her to discuss this, it came up in some other convo. they are both nice ladies, not close friends but friendly w each other. my mom explaind to MIL that i am so not portable right now, but MIL just defended her daughter.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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you ignore it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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back away. they want some drama; don't give it to them. smile, nod, and ignore anything that isn't said to your face. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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op: i think you're right, but i am so hurt and mad at their selfishness. i also work p/t from home - when do i have time to be in their posse 24/7?! but that doesnt matter to them - they don't care, just think badly of me because i apparently "make no effort." I have a sister in my city who works F/T and I barely ever see her - and she doesnt care, loves me, etc. I just cant take it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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np: if they aren't woman enough to ell you directly, you can ignore it. and tell you rmom and MIL this. "if htey have a problem, i assume they'd talk to me about it, if it were important." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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op: to poster below, i think you're right. they have zero going on in their lives, except shopping, and I'm busy. they're younger than me, and maybe it is jealousy. i think they just like having someone to bitch about. you should have heard the hating when they didnt like another brothers GF... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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Your family is TOO CLOSE!!!!! They talk too much about trivial things becasue they are either controlling or don't have enough to occupy them in their own lives. Perhaps there's a bit of jelaousy or the idea that you took away their brother. Don't sink to their level. It is very hard having very young children. be kind and cordial to them and make sure they know they're always welcome at your house and that you look forward to socializing at their house when you can move about more easily. Also, remmeber that confiding and passing along gossip can be detrimental to everyone. No one should have told you this. Set an example and remain above it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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