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06.11.08, 11:19 AM General Topics
36 replies
Do you ever wonder if you married the wrong man? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.11.08, 11:19 AM Flag
 

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i used to. but not for a long time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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Actually, never. A friend of mine was just talking about this the other day, and I didn't know what to say to her, since she assumed everyone feels this way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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you are lucky [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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Yeah, I really am. Especially since I nearly married a man that would have been the wrong one a few years before I met DH. I remember thinking, well I should just marry X, no relationship is ever perfect. And life with DH isn't perfect, but I was always making excuses for my ex and life would have been hard with him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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recently yes. only bc an old flame contacted me...if things had been different then id possible be with him and not DH. But the thought of not having my DC makes me impossibly sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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Yes and I am sad to admit it but I think I may have [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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would you ever do something about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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No. He is a good man and a good father. He loves me completely. I think it would probably be a mistake to hurt him and our children so that I could feel more fulfilled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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its nice to know im not the only one. you are me in a nutshell [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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why is he wrong for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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sometimes i think i may have. it just feels like a big mistake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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never. even when I'm at my most angry, I am totally aware of how lucky I and our kids are to have such an amazing guy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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Well my dh is hard to be married to, but no one else asked, and I'm not sure anyone else would be better. My dh is thinskinned, depressive, sometimes antisocial but also brilliant and loyal. Boyfriend I had before him had easier personality but cheated. Hard to say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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thats a good way to put it. my dh is hard to be married to as well. He is a good guy but i find myself wondering how my life would be different if i hadn married someone different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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No - but occassionally DH will say something that makes me wonder how I could have married someone who felt that way. But I don't think I could have found anyone about whom I wouldn't have felt that way now and then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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Not for one second. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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If I even start to wonder, I always come back to DH being the best man for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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i married someone safe, nice, calm, easy to live with. My bet was that he would stand the test of time better than someone who excites me enormously. The marriage is still too new to tell, but so far so good..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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ditto. We're 6 years into it and considering some of the things life has thrown us and how we've dealt, I know it was right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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I was so in love with this amazing australian man when I met my husband. Of course, I married the safe, quiet, studious German. Sometimes I feel like I'm playing racquetball without any balls...I hit the ball and nothing happens, no sound, no excitement....just quiet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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without any walls...but I will say that he is very nice most of time...but a little cheaper than I initially expected him to be...My grandmother always used to say that you should marry the man you can live with, not the one you can't live without...not sure yet how that is going. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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I hope it works out for you. While I married the calm, safe guy, I can't say that he doesn't excited me. Sometimes you go through phases in your relationships -- sometimes there is more excitement than others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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Sorry I couldn't reply UB is totally fucked up with reply functions...I'm so bored. I feel like I have set myself on fire for any sort of reaction. do you think it's maybe a cultural thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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Yeah, I know. I just had the same problem responding to you. Anyway, what do you mean by a cultural thing? What culture are you and your DH? I do think there is something in our modern culture that reveres romantic, passionate love to the point that people may overlook other aspects. I also think our culture has built us up to believe we can and should have it all. I have a terrific husband and while I wish we had a better sex life, everything else is great and we are lucky to have what we have. I don't think you can have it all. I think you have to prioritize what you MUST have to be happy, you know? If dh didn't make me laugh and we didn't have fun together outside of bed, I couldn't be happy. So there you have it. (Long answer to your short question.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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^^^^I also think in the case of setting yourself on fire, maybe it's not you at all and just him. Have you talked to him about how you feel? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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Well...I'm american. I HAVE A GREAT EXAMPLE.(keep in mind this type of behavior was endearing at first). I say to him honey, guess what? I just spoke with our travel agent again she's going to hook us up with upgrades for our trip to africa!! His response: "that is nice" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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completely monotone, stoic and with the absence of emotion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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sorry, I was gone. Oh dear. I don't know what to say. Sounds like that's just his personality. What about him makes you happy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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Well he's adorable. He is super supportive of my career and I regardless of my desire to set myself on fire, I know he really loves me. So I would never do anything to hurt him. Even though sometimes it feels like I'm married to a flatliner. So what do you have to have to be happy with your husband? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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He's very funny, also very supportive of my career, very easy going, smart, handsome, a great father and friend. He's truly a good and honest man who would never hurt me. I am very lucky. I just wish he were better in bed. (SO shallow.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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NO that is so not shallow....we periods where it's sort of boring [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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do you ever tell him what he's doing wrong? then he does as soon as you start at it... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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having trouble with the reply function again. Yeah, I have told him and for some things he's tried and for others he has an excuse. For example, I'd love to try diff't positions, but he says some of them would hurt him, so we're stuck with 2. Also, I think my libido is seriously lacking, especially after kids, so I don't have the energy anymore to try to work on the sex. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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honestly, never. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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I definitely married the wrong man, and i regret it every day. in addition to feeling extreme shame over this mistake, I have yet to figure out how to exrt=]] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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I'm not the easiest wife to deal with, i often think my husband wonders if he married the wrong woman! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 03:21 AM Flag
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