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06.11.08, 08:07 AM General Topics
23 replies
my baby is really most of what i have in life for a family relationship. it means more to me than to most moms because of my situation. i don't know how i will pretend to be independent of him when his married -especially if i'm going to be old and alone. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.11.08, 08:07 AM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

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start therapy now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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op: this really worries me b/c MILs are supposed to act like distant aunts or something [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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np: No, they aren't. I think you have a twisted view of all this, OR above is right about the therapy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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how is a MIL to act? how often does she visit or call? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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She acts like the mother to an adult child. Everyone is different. My MIL calls once a week. We see each other several times a year, but that's because it's a plane ride away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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how often do you talk to you mommy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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I don't have a mommy. I have a mother. We speak about twice a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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not necessary. if you act like a MIL, you will be treated as one. but why don't you have any family? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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buy a lot of cats and begin talking to yourself now... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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op: MILs are supposed to be fun and generous but very detached. not like he's my son once he's an adult. i guess that makes sense.. he's really another person's DH. most DIL don't want a man to be both [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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np: that's nuts. my MIL is clearly my husband's mother, but they have an adult relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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op: says a woman who talks to her momma every day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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no, maybe once a month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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np: nothing wrong with speaking to a parent daily but the parent must know their limits. My MIL calls daily 3-6 times a day, leaving messages for dh to call her. When he calls she said she wanted to chat. Why not call one time, leave the message and he'll get back when he can. She must be a PITA. 6 calls a day is not acceptable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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therapy! don't put all that pressure on your son. not fair.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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oh that's sad. Please don't pretend to be independent but do it. The last thing you want is to be alone. Find happiness now, live now and not for your dc but for yourself and your future with him will be that much more full [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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I hate statements like this. A friend of mine told me she loves her baby more than most moms because she had a m/c. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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you sound like my father's mother. She was so dependent on him that she suffocated him. She also never gave any of us a chance and never had a relationship with her grandkids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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op: i wouldn't suffocate anyone. and i would want as big a relationship with the DIL and grandkids. i just prize family as front and center in my life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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is there a reason that your child is your only family? why are you so sure you will not expand your family over time? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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the only way you will get a big relationship with DIL is if you show respect, know your limits and have your own life (no depending on DS for a life) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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i don't really understand the issue here. what is worrying you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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Not to sound harsh, but you need to find other interests/passions NOW for his sake. I have two cousins that are both only children to their single mothers and they were smothered by them growing up and now as adults, live is distant locals, don't visit much, etc. Don't do this to your son--get your own life to live in addition to being his loving mother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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