UrbanBaby

06.10.08, 19:24 PM General Topics
14 replies

ok- i am frsustrated. ds is 2.5. he is really testing me. he is kicking, spitting, throwing. he was so pleasant before and his behavior was totally redirectable. all of the tactics that worked previosly do not get him to stop now. i have never hit him before. so i tried this new approach. he kicked e and wouldnt stop, so i gave his feet a light slap and yelled at him/. i did this again today when he spit at me. although it did stop the behavior, i do not want to use hitting to deal with these situations. is hitting (light slap, etc- not beating - just to be clear) ever a good option??? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:24 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

not your best option...best is to totally take away attention. put him in a room and walk away...say nothing. If he hurt someone else, comfort them. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:25 PM Flag

agree [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:28 PM Flag

no. read "children, the challenge" by rudolf dreikurs. if you want to do what you are doing, say in a pleasant voice, "oh, so you want to play the hitting game?" just like you would ask about playing candy land, and then hit him after he hits you, and do not hold back. he'll hit you again, you do the smae and smile, like it is a game. he'll stop real soon. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:27 PM Flag

OR1: wow....interesting apporach..kind of like the biting the kid if they bite you thing [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:29 PM Flag

well, the difference there is taht you are stating that it is a game. when you just bite back, you are not qualifying it as game and kids see it as retaliation. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:31 PM Flag

this sounds insane. i'm sorry but game or no game, you're setting a very bad example. get at what is making him so wound up. look for the cause before treating the symptoms. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:49 PM Flag

freak [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:54 PM Flag

That is super creepy. don't do that. weird.esp the smiling part right before you hit the kids. yikes. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 08:07 PM Flag

no, because hitting is out of control behavior on your part, and probably escalating his behavior, besides being totally inconsistent with what you're trying to teach him. Read some parenting books- How to Talk so Your Kid will Listen; Your Two Year Old, and whatever else you can get your hands on. His behavior is totally normal. Your frustation is normal too, and we've all been there. And if you've think he's bad now, wait til he's 3.5 :) [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:28 PM Flag

i actually have read the books... especially loved "how to talk so your kids will listen." all of things do work and that is why i havent gotten to this point before. but sometimes, i cant figure out what to do... i have been sooo frustrayed lately! [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:31 PM Flag

dreikurs says, "tell your kid what you will do." ie: "I feel X when Y . I plan to Z" "I feel angry and hurt when I am hit (take out you hit me). I plan to go to the next room until things calm down" [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:34 PM Flag

ive been doing all of that- it just stopped working recently! i guess icould just keep doing it and hopefully it will work again??? [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:37 PM Flag

exactly like that? [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:52 PM Flag

he's not 'BAD" , he is difficult. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.10.08, 07:32 PM Flag