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06.10.08, 14:00 PM General Topics
58 replies
I'm 32, married...due to career reasons, will attempt to start getting pregnant at age 34/35. No history of past pregnancy/miscarriage/abortion. Just scared after hearing the stories on NYT (Patient voices - Infertility)...does anyone recommend anything I can do NOW, to ensure pregnancy later? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.10.08, 02:00 PM Flag
 

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there aren't any guarantees, but make sure you are at a healthy wt and work out-will make pg and labor much easier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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no, just don't worry. you'll be fine. or, if you're really worried, start trying now and figure your career around it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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i cut out caffeine and both hubby and i took multi vitamins daily, i got pg fast at 37, gl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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You cut out caffeine how much before trying to get pregnant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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gradually and then mostly had decaf during the week, a cup of caf on the weekends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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We tried all that and ended up having to do IVF because of tube problem. Get checked out both of you first if you are having trouble getting pregnant before you spend a lot of energy doing other things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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just have sex when you are ready. You can't predict. I never had a pg before and thought I was going to have a hard time. At 32yr I got pg after the first try, had #2 at 36 and now pg with #3 at 40yr old. Mind you I was sexually active since I was 16yr old and never once had a pg. I was just very lucky [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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no guarantees, but clean up your diet. cut out processed foods. take vitamins. folic acid. chart your periods to see if they're regular. (a la TCOYF). exercise. yoga. swimming etc. anything you think you'll continue while pregnant. (yoga was a godsend for me when preg). take the time to quit or reduce any bad habits you may have. be they smoking, weed, drinking, caffeine, sugar. peraps lose some weight but only if you think it's really necessary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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my reproductive endocrinologist says NONE of this - aside from drinking, drugs, and caffeine (and weight loss if you're obese or have PCOS) affects fertility. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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it's more about preparing your body to get ready to carry a baby. get as healthy as possible. i talked to an herbalist who specializes in reproductive health bf starting to try. this is what she suggested. none of it is an absolute must. but it helps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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actually big link between nicotine/fertility.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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OP: thanks, helpful. Except caffeine and maybe using Splenda, no real risk factor. I exercise, BMI 19.5, not on the pill. Do have longer cycles (35 days) and 1-2 times a year miss my period before starting the following month (stress I guess). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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actually, i'd say with your BMI, maybe you need to gain a bit of weight, if anything. but if that's your natural weight, no worries. i would say if stress affects your periods (it does mine), try finding some things that reduce your stress. be that therapy (which i think is a good thing to try bf having a baby anyway. helps you sort some things out bf a huge life change). and again, yoga. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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omg why don't you just stop living. no reason to do this unless you are having problems [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 04:56 PM Flag
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bank your embryos is best guarantee. you can also see an RE now and have FSH tested and get antral follicle count done - will give you some sense of where you are with your biological clock (every woman is diff. and i've seen plenty of very young - altho more older women at the RE's office). ultimately, if not having kids is something you'll really regret you might want to bump it up a bit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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stupid idea - many of them don't make the thaw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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Good idea about seeing an re & taking a FSH test - it "dates" you eggs so you can really tell how much time you have. Only prob is at your age it might show a false positive - can take the test 9 times & if the 10th time is a bad number that trumps all the others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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Try now. You never know how long it could take. You can't plan it like a career. May be easy or it may take years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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np - I completely agree with this. I started trying at age 35 and I've been trying over a year now with IVF. We've spent $40k and had lots of stress and heartache over it. harder than juggling with my career? definitely not. hopefully you won't be me, but be careful with thinking you can schedule everything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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sorry I hear you. Just that if I try now....I rarely would ever see my baby... what is the point of having a baby, if you can't spend ANY time with it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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i know. nothing's perfect. i'm trying now and will start medical residency next month. it's just the way it is - now or never. somehow i'll make the best of it and db will be ok too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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You'll find a way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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Because believe it or not a 4 month old doesn't really care who changes her diapers & you will have that precious baby for sure in two years when you can ease back a bit on work time & she will relish having you are then even more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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THERE IS SOOOOO MUCH TRUTH IN THIS STATEMENT< OP!!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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ITA. Don't wait. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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you dont know you have a problem until you try. seriously. the problem might be your dh, too! you can have your ob test your FSH which shows your egg reserve. and you can go for a pelvic ultrasound to make sure you dont have polyps or cysts or anything that could get in the way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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You are not giving yourself time for any problems. If you intend on having more than 1 that is too late imo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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ita. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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ITDA. i had my first at 36 and 2d at 40, and i didn't start trying much before 35. i was lucky, yes, but OP may be as well, adn she may want to space children closer together. lots of people start at 35 and have more than one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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yes. you were lucky. and the point is whether op wants to roll the dice or not. she should just go into her choice with her eyes wide open (and I would really recommend getting screened by a reproductive endocrinologist as part of this - FSH, E2 and AFC). np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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eh. she can start trying and see what happens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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sure - NOW. but i wouldn't wait until 35 unless she'd be ok with not having kids, using donor eggs, or adopting if it comes to that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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and i hope she can start saving up for the ivf that she may need for #1 and is likely to need for #2 or #3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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i think that is alarmist. yes, she should think through those options. but to jump to assuming she'll need ivf? at 35? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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welcome to my world. and the ivf office is filled with women like me. sorry to say it but i'm just laying it out there. wish i had known. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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i'm not saying it doens't happen (at every age) and of course OP needs to think about waht she'll do if that happens. but its nto at all a sure things, or even more likely than not at 35. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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ITA, signed career mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 04:39 PM Flag
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32 is young. But once you hit 35 you are considered a little more high risk and your doctor will have you for an amino when your PG etc. I would say start trying - I have a low FSH for my age (7.2) and am still have a hard time getting PG. I have been trying for number 2 for two years and gearing up for my 6th IVF. No one plans for infertlity - it just happens and it sucks. I would not wish it on anyone. I would get tested by an RE who takes your insurance. If there is any sign of trouble start trying right away and find the best RE you could afford. Gl to you with your career and family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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OP: I guess take home point...see a RE. I have United Healthcare, money is not a constraint....any recs for a RE and OBGYN, I should start building a relationship with? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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I loved my RE Dr Janet Choi with Columbia and i love my ob dr Sharon Patrick (affiliated with Roosevelt) both take United HC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:51 PM Flag
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why would you see an RE now -I think this is fake. You cannot be for real [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 04:58 PM Flag
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Dr. Griffo @ NYU gave me my girls [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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You are potentially choosing your career over having a child. If you are comfortable with that choice, great. But if you aren't, or think you might not be, you might want to re-think it. DH can bank his sperm (and should), but there's not much you can do except stay healthy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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no, she is potentaily choosing her career over her bio child. which is a real thing, but not the same as no child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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^^ (Can't reply to a reply for some reason). You are right. Adoption is an option, albeit an expensive a difficult one. So is surrogacy. My neighbors (a gay couple) had a lovely baby girl by surrogate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:39 PM Flag
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or donor egg, or lots of other things. yes, all more trouble and more expensive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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I had my dd at 36 with no problems conceiving and pregnancy. I think each individual is different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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I had my 2nd dc @ 36 w/no problems but unable to concieve again after him - 3 lost babies due to chromosonal abnormalities. You cannot predict. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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I had my first at 34 and my second at 37, pregnant the first month with db1 and second month with db2. You might have a problem, you might not. Friend of mine started trying at the same time (same age as me) and finally after multiple tries at *everything*, (including surrogacy, accupuncture, IVF) had donor egg triplets at 40. You just don't know. I wanted to wait one more year and dh wanted to have kids sooner sa I wanted to travel more. But it is sort of irrelevent at this point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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Don't wait long - 32 is still a good age - it starts to get much harder after 36 - take it from me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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I would get your FSH tested every few months to see if the number is going up -- that's a concern. I would also see if your tubes were blocked or not with an HSG -- and that's about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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What career is worth this? DF had her baby in second year of residency. I had first DB as a junior associate at a biglaw firm. DF announced pg within months of getting new job at an IB. All still have THRIVING careers. JUST DO IT. Adoption is getting more difficult....especially international. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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You are taking a big risk. I got pg at the drop of a hat @ 30 & 33 but had 3 mcs later & finally had to have donor egg IVF at age 36. The only thing you can really do if you are determined to wait is see an RE to evaluate your fertility health & start taking folic acid religiously. Oh & you might try & get exposed to a child w/5ths disease since that causes mcs to pg women unless you have the antibody already :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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OP should get all her booster shots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Can't reply to OR who did donor eggs for her third kid. Can I ask why you felt so compelled to go through such great measures for a third kid? Not a slam, I may have to do the same. Just wondering. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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You know, I can't really explain it, part of it ironically was my ability to get pg so easily before gave me an "earth mother" self image, part of it was I didn't even realize how badly I wanted another till I lost the (first) baby. Finally I just really feel that the best thing I have ever done is have my dcs and raise them to feel loved and strong. If I had started earlier, I would probably have had ten! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 08:44 PM Flag
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There's nothing you can do to ensure fertility. I started trying to get PG at 32. 2.5 years later, I finally got pg via IVF (diagnosis was unexplained infertility). There are no guarantees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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