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06.10.08, 10:29 AM General Topics
55 replies
WWYD??? DS is a freshman..and has failed a class..he goes to a catholic school..money is tight. DH wants to pull him out and send him to a public school. DS knew the consequences..good idea?? or will he go downhill?? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.10.08, 10:29 AM Flag
 

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don't understand. you're making him go public because he failed a class or because money is tight? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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what class did he fail? how were his other grades? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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where do you live? what are your public school options? past time for standard application process, so placement might be a problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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we were in this exact situation last year. my son is now a soph and is doing so much better at his catholic hs. tuition is a real financial burden for us too, but we explained to him that we think it's worth it for him to remain there and if he thinks likewise, he should work harder b/c he can get Ds and Fs for free in public school. it took a lot of work on his part, but he has turned it around. i urge you to do what you can to keep your son in his present school if he likes it. the key for us was that my son wanted to stay in his school and we told him what he had to do to make this happen. good luck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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a lot of Catholic schools are worse than public, so you might be doing your ds a favor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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and a lot of public school are worse than prison, you bigot. i'm sure she did her research before she put the child in the school. you wouldn't have said that if she had said "yeshiva," get over yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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omigod. project much? np btw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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no, i am not projecting. my son goes to an excellent east coast catholic hs. the catholic bashing that goes on, particularly among wealthy nyers, is sickening and ignorant; worst of all, it's cloaked in pc faux intellegent double speak. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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I think you have a chip on your shoulder. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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am i annoyed about people assuming that all catholics accept inferior educations for their children in order to be "jesus freaks" when that is not the case, yes. i still say that if she had mentioned any other school with a religious affiliation, that comment would not have been made. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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I don't see where you get that in her post. obviously you've been on the receiving end of this attitude, but I still think you're overreacting in this case [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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or: Stop assigning intent to what I said. I didn't say anything about jesus freaks or catholics accepting inferior schools. Did you read my other responses? When test scores are compared, parochial schools often do worse than publics. I'm only talking about parochial schools b/c that's what OP is talking about, not yeshivas or madrassas or anything else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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don't you mean "intelligent"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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sorry for the typo - typing quickly and in anger. not a stupid "catholic" mistake [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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^^^honey, you have issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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speak for yourself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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I'm just reading the post. not OR [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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she's just stating a fact, Miss Knee Jerk. and speaking of bigots, why would you assume she was Jewish? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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or here: I'm not Jewish. I'm basing my opinion on studies that have been published comparing test results from parochial vs. public. What's with the name calling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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i did not assume anyone was jewish. i just wished to point out that catholics are fair game in a way that no other religion would be. btw, name calling cheapens what might have otherwise been a valid point. also saying "some catholic schools are worse than public school" may be a fact, but she meant it more as a bait. furthermore, some public schools ARE worse than prisons. also a fact. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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or: I did not mean it as a bait. What would make you say that? I was stating a fact. My brother went to a crappy parochial school. Our mom pulled him out and sent him to public which was a lot better. There are a lot of mediocre parochial schools out there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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I'd like to see a link on your public school/prison "fact." and catholics being targets is a bit much IMO. I do think you're a little touchy on this. Knee jerk as in knee-jerk reaction. not really name calling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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have you ever seen flushing high? freaking prison [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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yes, name calling cheapens your point, and you started it with calling OR a bigot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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exactly! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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you need serious help [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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I'm sure this is true, but if money is tight, why would they keep in the school if it was good. OP seems to be MIA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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he failed ONE class and you are acting like this? Are you sure this is going to help him? In the end this is about him, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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I was a fuck up as a kid. I would have been well served by a harsh dose of consequences like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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but it's not going to help the kid to put him in another school just because. there are other consequences that can be doled out. if he's struggling academically, they could get a tutor. if it's a social issue, moving him could be the best thing or the worst thing. but I don't know why I'm bothering with these suppositions since we don't know the details anyway! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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you would have been served well to be put in a worse school bc you failed one class? maybe you could be helped by parents, a tutor, or after school homework program instead?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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You were a fuck up because you failed *one* class? There is more to it in your case, no? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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I know, is it about the money or punishing ds? I guess we'll never know because OP is gone! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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OP here..sorry..once I posted..the board was having problems..and I could not log on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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well, this post was lost to crazy catholic school lady, so you should probably cut and paste a new one... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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^^we will not pay the tuition for D's and F's..it's a struggle..but we are willing to pay..we just want EFFORT..he was doing great the first half of school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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I think you need to try to pinpoint the cause of the change. kids don't just fall off like that for no reason. does he like the school? what course did he fail? could it be that it's just difficult for him? I made good grades but could not pass geometry without a tutor. just couldn't get my brain around it for some reason [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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eng, math,theology, soc st..he was getting B's very close to A's...now..mostly D's and failed theology. a lot of missing h.w. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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any idea why? what do his teachers say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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personally, I think that if he failed a class, then it is the parents that are to blame at this age. You think it would be helpful to punish your child for something that he hasn't accomplished because his parents are not willing enough to spend the time to help him instead of punishing him.... and seeing that he needs their help instead of inappropiate discipline. No child ever wants to fail... nor does a child ever want to disappoint their parents. get your principles right. and may be you won't be posting this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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op here..i agree.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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^^^and you base this on what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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I don't think I've really been involved. We ask all the time about hw and how school is..etc..but when I saw his grades dropping ..I just [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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^^"tell" him he has to bring them up. But..part of me says he is old enough..he knows better..he knows what has to be done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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but do you have any clue what is behind the drop in grades? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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actually, he porbably doesn't. First and foremost: GET THE COMPUTER OUT OF HIS ROOM. it si only for homework , not socializing until his grades come up....you need a plan with his teachers to know ahead of tiem that homework is nor being sent in. Second, he is probably not good at organizing himself. Buy and read and implement "The Organized Child." Third, you need to give him a reason to succeed. Community college is not a reason to succeed. It sounds like your dd is not doing so well there either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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I think it depends on the kid. I'm involved with dd's school in that I go to parent/teacher meetings and other school events, but I don't check up on her because she handles her schoolwork responsibly and is an honor student. I think, like OP, I would get more involved if/when her grades started falling. But I don't she has anything to gain by my being involved now. She knows I'm very proud of how well she does in school, and she's entirely self-motivated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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OP, we tried to chat withyou yesterday...give advice, ask questions, etc about his roganization and study habits, btu you never responded. Perhaps there are "follow-through" issues in your family. Any way...jsut wondering what is going. It sounds like your dh is not into education as a priority for $. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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You need to tellus more about the tow school options. Are you in NYC, the burbs, Chicago, etc. Is the public school very large, well reagarded and do kids go to college form there (and do you care if ds goes to college at all). Does ds play sports? Which school has better sports for him. Don't tell me about tight money...my parents lived on a shoe string for our parochial and private educations...best thing they ever did for us and them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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I would get my child a tutor quickly and set some boundaries, such as 7-9 is all quiet, sit down and study no matter what. Yes, I know he probably has more homework than 2 hrs, but it's a routine. Study should be in a place with no distractions...if his room is distracting, do it at the dining table or something. You need to "teach" him how to improve the situation for himself. He may not know how to "improve his grades" per se...there may be a problem. BTW, it will look better for college if he "fixes" his problem and improves...if he changes schools, it will look like he got booted out after freshman year. Big difference, imho. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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the op has anolder child part-time in CCollege who is not doing so well. College may not be a priority in this family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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Yes ..it is a priority..that's why we stress doing well..so he will get into the college of his choice. We wanted dd to go away to college and play ball..she didn't want to go away..we didn't push it..We always said if she didn't like it she could come back home..at least give it a try..I don't know..do you force a kid to go away??? I've heard both sides of the story...college is important to us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 03:19 PM Flag
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