UrbanBaby

06.09.08, 19:47 PM New York City
19 replies

dating a guy i am exclusive with, however, when asked about the future he says "i can't think that far ahead". we use condoms right now and he wants me to go on BC, but i don't do very well on it. now he tells me he has been researching and wants me to have a copper IUD put in and he will come with me. WTF. i told him "an IUD is a big commitment, so for now we should stick with condoms". i then said "for someone who can't see into the future you certainly have big plans for my birth control." he denied ever saying that. WWYD. is this a situation where he is using me for sex?? its so weird [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 06.09.08, 07:47 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

He sounds very controlling. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 07:49 PM Flag

can you elaborate? he said we can use condoms, but i am offended he is putting all this effort into researching birth control for me but can't think about our future... [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 07:50 PM Flag

Committed couples decide birth control together, some guy who might bolt in a month or two doesn't get the right to put request a longterm BC choice. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 07:53 PM Flag

Do you have children from a previous relationship? [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:02 PM Flag

yes. we both do. previous marriages [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:06 PM Flag

Do you want more children either with him or someone else? [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:06 PM Flag

yes. well i am dating him because i see a future with him. otherwise i would date several people [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:08 PM Flag

I think you answered your question. He is not looking to commit to marriage and he does not want more children. Can you imagine staying with him in this environment...really? And don't think you will change his mind eventually. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:09 PM Flag

can IUDs be temporary forms of BC? [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:11 PM Flag

OR above: It's also creepy that he wants to go with you - to ensure you are actually doing it. I guess he thinks it's too much trouble to make sure you take a pill each day. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:12 PM Flag

no, i told him i will not and can not take the pill. i never have reacted well to it. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:13 PM Flag

But you get my point, yes? [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:13 PM Flag

totally [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:14 PM Flag

and i think the "go with me" part is because its a procedure that they suggest someone takes you home [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:14 PM Flag

How long have you been dating? [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:13 PM Flag

4 months [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:14 PM Flag

Honestly, I respect the guy for saying it is too soon to think that far ahead, especially when children are involved. That said if you are in a monogamous relationship it is understandable to think about other bc options than condoms. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:17 PM Flag

okay. just not sure. something about it bothers me. cant figure out what [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:18 PM Flag

np: i agree. something is strange about this. be careful. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 06.09.08, 08:30 PM Flag